1997-07-01. Original Sin & Questioning Reality, Marital Role Playing, Shame, Discipline, Growth
Butler PA #31
Topic: Original Sin & Questioning Reality
Group: Butler TeaM
Teacher: Tomas, Jasmine, Philomena
TR: Gerdean
PHILOMENA: Feel My Embrace
Growth
TOMAS: Good evening, my children. I am Tomas, your teacher and your friend. Your sharing this evening has been meaningful, and we are appreciative of the confiding trust that you manifest when you express your deep concerns so tenderly with each other. These concerns are indeed integral to your soul development and your mental poise. It is this type of communication that we refer to when we urge you to learn to communicate, for as you yourselves observed, having experienced a quality moment of stillness, all the trivialities of your material life fall away as insignificant, and you are then free to explore the depths of your soul and your true human concerns as to your meaning in life.
I will, of course, respond to you, and also Merium is eager to greet you and share with you, but before I launch, I would like for you to — one more time — look around in your native sphere this evening while the light hangs damp and serene upon Urantia, and remember the adage from your text that refers to your life en route to becoming a frog, and that is that you should learn to live each day loyally as a tadpole.
Therein is your strength and your happiness, for in observing your surroundings and the simple peace of your realm, you can appreciate your innocence, your child-like-ness, your naivete, and the many, many miles to go before you sleep in vast knowledge and wisdom. Be at peace, my precious tadpoles. Do not force yourself to leap about before you are ready.
Many things you have brought to the feast this evening. My first response is to the matter of “original sin.”
Lesson
Shame
Original sin is a concept that has been adopted by Christianity and is one of the more serious handicaps to the flight of the spirit, for it inures its adherents to believe that they have begun in a state of shame. You are therefore a “shame-based society” and such a concept is deplorable to a loving universe, for you are not victims of your life here, you are the recipients of a wonderful gift, the gift of life! You are deity-in-the-making; you are en route to Paradise perfection. You are, even today, capable of manifesting relative perfection in your desire to serve and in your steadfast worship of those who have created you, those Trinity parents.
No, it does not reflect upon the shame of sex, but upon the concept of the knowledge of good and evil, for those who would question the word of God are, to some, a threat, particularly when they have established what will be and what will not be “the Word.”
Those of you who understand the Word to be the Second Source and Center, who has indeed instilled in you a desire to rise to meet Him in this spirit-gravity circuit, would recognize that it is your destiny to stand tall. It is one thing to have humility and quite another to have shame. Shame is a way of keeping you in place, in line. It is an artificial obedience imposed by those who fear the truth.
We have spent much time developing concepts that would enable you to rise above a belief in original sin. The Caligastian episode, the Lucifer Rebellion, was not your doing; the Adamic Default was not your doing; nor was the crucifixion of Christ your doing. For you to assume any sense of responsibility for those historic events is absurd. You are a new soul. You are a budding new reality, having fallen from nothing, but rather being risen in awareness and enlightenment toward your rightful destiny as a spirit being in and through the Universal Father Himself.
It goes back to self-respect. It goes back to your relationship with your Indwelling Spirit. It is necessary that you develop your own spirituality through your relationship with that God which resides within you, and not from theologies of ages past and olden prophets; and yet that concept, original sin, holds millions in bondage even today, for they fear to question, they live in fear. This is not the Father’s will that His children should live in fear and feel justified in comforting themselves and surrounding themselves with yet more fear.
It is our duty and our privilege to have come from darkness into the light, to show the light to those who still languish in darkness, that the knowledge of the Lord is not an intellectual knowledge, but a living and vibrant reality, a birth-right. It is enough to keep your hands full for a long time to come. Radiate your light, children, and let it be known that the knowledge of the Lord is good and brings joy, real joy. Does that help clarify, Hunnah?
Hunnah: You always do.
Teaching Mission
TOMAS: I will speak now somewhat regarding your concerns having to do with your understanding of your relationship with your teachers, whether they be personal teachers, group teachers or whether indeed these teachers are real at all, and as Gerdean said earlier, when you are in a place of questioning a reality, does it make sense to go to the question and ask if it has reality?
It is indeed your desire to have contact with spirit reality that has fashioned the Teaching Mission, but you err if you believe that you have managed to create us all on your own. We also would err if we were to say that we are handling it without you, for indeed this is a TeaM effort. We are co-creating. There is no question about it. Whether or not you regard it as a viable reality is a matter of personal free will choice. As it is or is not real, then you select accordingly, and that is the way it is with truth.
Dialogue
Growth
Hunnah: Then that really is the approach that we need to make. Anytime you start wrestling with questions, we must realize what level we are at, at the time, and it is almost an indication to rise, so to speak, to pull in, and that we are, if we’re quarreling with a situation that we are off-track. It’s a clue that we should pull in, and not wander.
TOMAS: I will say this about that. There is no growth without conflict, and because you are experiencing a conflict does not mean for you to throw the problem away as if it didn’t exist or to shut the door on a situation that has given you cause to grapple. It is, always has been and always will be your inherent right to question every step of the way on your journey. We do not expect you to passively lie down before anything. You are dignified, free will creatures of intelligence. It is your decision-making that expands you and ennobles you and enlightens you, and so it is desirable that you indeed ponder these things as they come to you, that you may make decisions about them — heartfelt decisions and soul-searched decisions.
Will you please recall that I prefaced my words this evening with an allusion to the tadpole, and when in your idealism you hope for the best and find you have fallen short of your ideals, rather than beat the critter to death, recognize the stature of the tadpole that has a ways to go before it becomes a frog. Your ideals are great, and you are aspiring toward your ideals, but remember, even in this process of communicating with that which is your highest aspiration, always will the ideal be slightly beyond your capability of sustained attainment, for that is the lure of perfection.
Even as you attain the height, you discover yet another hill, and lest you become tired of climbing the hills, turn your back and look at the view. Appreciate the perfect vista that has laid itself out in front of you; and after you have rested and reflected on how far you have come, on what you have mastered, what you have experienced and what you have given, then turn around with renewed strength for the next leg of the journey, the next section of ascent.
And so when you feel conflicted, yes, take it easy; do not try to force growth. Do not try to demand a resolution, but allow the growth its natural unfolding. Spirit reality is real; the spirit reality will endure, will prevail, and will persevere. That is all. We will be in recess.
[Intermission]
JASMINE: Good evening, my lovelies. I am Jasmine, and I am very happy that you have asked for me. It is very heart-warming to be called by name. I would be happy to serve you, any of you, but I am intent upon my charge, my beloved. Hunnah, my dear, what can we do?
Hunnah: Well, first of all, thank you for coming, and I would like to give you an opportunity to address some things that you feel would benefit our relationship. I have — apparently I have been stretched to the point where I have been reminded that I am allowed to approach you this way and I really should, and I don’t have a particular new need, except that I — well, I’ll stop there. I would like to give you an opportunity to address something that you feel that I should know.
JASMINE: It is presumptuous of me to hand you information based upon “information that I feel you ought to know.” I am devoted to your growth, but only insofar as you are establishing our pace. I will call to your mind the tactics of Teacher Tomas, a group teacher, who is devoted to your progress and who prods you in your development; but as a personal teacher, I am not at liberty to prod you. I companion you, and I can show you things if you are willing to see them, but it is almost as if you need to ask. I realize that you could be saying, “But Jasmine, I just did ask and you are side-stepping my request!”
Discipline
Hunnah: That’s all right. I kind of put you on the spot. I guess I’ll address this one. I know that it is the human condition to comfort itself and that in this activity of comfort it can become a habit and then a habit can become a handicap and then we get way off course. I am concerned about putting back on weight, and my inability to manage my diet better. I gave up meat, and it seems now (it’s been several years now), but I feel it’s such a trial to eat properly anymore, and I carry it all the way into my work. There are solutions.
I guess what I wanted to do was approach you the way I would an altar, like the friendly priest: “This is my anxiety, therefore I know if I talk to you, by vocalizing it, somehow or other I will release this from myself and it will go away and never come back! (Until next time.)” Maybe it’s an inclination to be lazy and I like to have it done for me; but I just found it to be a problem. I’m not free of it, of some of the disciplines that I feel would be beneficial . .. to my spiritual development! and . .. that bothers me. And the same thing is not having an appreciation for exercising. This is not unique, but it’s in my way.
JASMINE: Let me then discuss your perception.
Hunnah: Good.
JASMINE: Your perception of the challenge lacks the appropriate stimuli that would allow it to be enticing and effective for you. You are berating yourself for a lack of discipline on one hand, when, rationally, you understand that that is a lie, for you know yourself to be extremely disciplined, perhaps even superior in certain areas entailing discipline. And so the entire concept of not being adequately disciplined is immediately pooh-poohed and disregarded; it is, therefore, erasing itself.
Now, let me address an approach which may more appeal to you, as it is more uplifted and more edified, and that has to do with the attitude of play and adventure. If you were to schedule yourself that period of time that would allow for you to take a brisk walk instead of exercise in a dank basement with artificial equipment, you would take to the task far more readily. And so it is in your attitude of how you approach the task at hand.
Of course you are not inclined to do something that is shrouded in gray. But if it were something that was luring you with pink and blue and yellow, you would have an entirely different approach to it. Think of me as your puppy dog and take me for a walk. I am in need of exercise, not you. If you serve me, you will inadvertently serve yourself by taking care of what needs to be done as a result of being of service to me. Do you see the different approach? As you approach your life in service, your needs are met and you are made well and whole in the process.
Hunnah: You have just made my day. I think you’ve made Gerdean’s day too because you have answered — absolutely put your finger on it. I am now thinking that you are the author and finisher of my playful self. I have talked (on the job), I have done something similar and said something, somewhere to people who have been stuck, and I will attempt to call my Golden Retriever “Jasmine” and see if I can come up with looking at and approaching it and perhaps packing a child’s lunchbox. I will challenge my creative juices and that is indeed what was lacking. I have a bicycle that is far more playful than the treadmill. Color. You mentioned color. I will try to keep that in mind.
Nutrition
JASMINE: I would like also to address nutrition. You have heard Merium speak of “Mother’s Milk,” that you need to feed the baby, and I will tell you that much of your appetite is not for food, my dear, of a material nature, but for food of another nature. There are many aspects of you besides the spirit that are not properly nourished. Much of you is crying out for well-roundedness and it is materializing as a well-roundedness that you do not enjoy.
It is not so much a matter of the foods you eat, but that you are not feeding those parts of you that need nourishment. Were you to feed them, you would feel less inclined to feed your body, for your hunger would be filled. I don’t recommend, necessarily, returning to a diet of meat, for that is an advancement.
Hunnah: A diet of meat is not an advancement.
JASMINE: Having set meat aside, you have done well. I would not urge you to return to meat-eating, having already accomplished that feat. Fruit is always a good choice and grapes are good friends, for you can pop grapes all day and enjoy the effect of eating without risk of putting on unwanted weight. Frozen grapes are fun, too, but again, I am not criticizing so much your foodstuffs, as your negligence in feeding those parts of yourself that would satisfy your many hungers.
Your creative appetite is great, for example, and it is seldom satiated. Your social appetites are great, but they are distorted by many of the avenues that you are involved in. The development of your soul’s urge to share will help to satisfy that, for you will begin to be heard on the level that you need to be heard and when you hear with that part of you that seeks to hear and respond, that too will satisfy one of your hungers.
Hunnah: You certainly have put the light on this in a new way. I also feel as if I am stifling a lot of anger. Or perhaps frustration, because I am frequenting patterns that I would probably pass up if I didn’t — if I had my choice. There are things that I wouldn’t bother doing, that take me in places where I find eating a problem, but being able to look at it will probably help make it right. Thank you for addressing an expanded awareness of appetite, because I can use it in my daily work.
I think it’s extremely valuable that you have included nourishment to involve mental and spiritual needs. This is something that is absolutely overlooked. I’m not sorry at all I pushed for this.
JASMINE: Not only on the exalted realms of spiritual and mental, but also nourishment in the emotional realms, the sensual realms, and the childlike realms. There is a lot involved in being a well-rounded human being. It is often that people think that if they aspire high and live on a plateau they will be happy, but it is necessary to find happiness also with your human self, your animal self — a good massage, a good bubble bath.
To work hard in the dirt and saw wood and dig holes — this gives you a sense of connection with the earth that satisfies a hunger in the mortal. That is something that, in your society, gets pushed by the wayside when you become “civilized” but it leaves a hunger in the heart. I only add these so that you will understand the full-bodied truth of nourishment.
Hunnah: I feel more optimistic about it, and I’m glad you’ve addressed it in the manner in which you have. Just being able to talk to you and admit that this bothers me is a help.
Marital Role Playing
JASMINE: I am your friend, and you can talk to me about anything.
Hunnah: I find that I have such a comfortable life and yet I find the energies and the focus of my companion very, very draining and we manage but we are working at two different paths, so to speak, and I find it . .. it’s just a very common problem and I’m not feeling sorry for myself, but I know that is a drain on my energy that could be used better because I find myself wasting … spilling milk, I guess you could say.
JASMINE: Indeed, my dear.
Hunnah: And I feel resentful that something I find so precious should be such that I should fall in these traps, and to the outsider it would look quite idealistic, but it frustrates me. May I ask you one more question and it’s a matter of counsel?
JASMINE: Yes.
Hunnah: You know I used to ask about judgment? Human judgment. I do know — I would like to relate better to my daughter, and I miss the balance. I want so badly for her to have the kind of balance in her life that I feel is missing, and it causes me stress. She’s fine! She’s doing fine. She’s doing her thing. But what troubles me is, probably, trying to make somebody over to the way that you think they should be, and I would like to be the best I can for her and allow myself to accept her and her value system and her way of doing things.
Marriage
JASMINE: I have words to say regarding this situation that you just mentioned as well as the previous situation regarding your relationship with your husband that you did not ask for commentary about.
Hunnah: I welcome it.
JASMINE: They are both the same, in this: the . .. well, earlier you used the phrase “collective consciousness.” The collective consciousness of your civilization has endowed you with roles that you play. This is the collective consciousness of marriage, if you will, and you and your husband are both affected by what your prescribed roles are supposed to be; and your daughter also is under that same umbrella in terms of her relationship with her husband. There are roles that are played. They are learned from their parents and reinforced by society.
It is a part of the maintenance of civilization that men and women have the roles to play, but it is highly detrimental to spirit — even the spirit of the individuals — when they take those roles so seriously that they lose themselves in the role that they play [in order] to satisfy society’s expectations and their feeling of marital obligation. This, if not checked, will make a mockery of the partnership of men and women.
And this is why it is a concern to you in your marriage and why, perhaps, it is that you feel, in some respects, that you do not know your daughter, for you can see that she is very adeptly playing the role of wife and mother and Mrs. America, very much as you have done in your career with Abram, but it precludes the stripped-down bottom-line reality of your true relationship with these people: (1) that Abram is your Brother, and that relationship will far outlive the spousal relationship that you share with him; and (2) that the stripped-down bottom-line relationship between you and your daughter is that you are Sisters, and that relationship will last throughout eternity, and that is wherein you feel a frustration.
Only as they understand their own poverty in the role they play and lean toward the spirit reality within themselves will they feel free to share their spirit reality with your spirit reality. But, my dear, if you continue to overextend to them your role of wife and/or mother in lieu of your own genuine self, then you will be contributing to the estrangement that is inherent in anyone who plays a role rather than relying upon the reality of truth to bridge these gaps.
Hunnah: Boy, that was a good one. I hope that Gerdean will be able to type this up but leave off the identity, because I think that anyone could benefit from this talk. I agree, absolutely. I get caught up in the role-playing, and that extends itself into my son — into all my avenues! If we can give up that role-playing, how liberating it would be.
JASMINE: You have been conditioned by your society to grow up to be a wife and mother, and you accomplished that; and you are still a wife and mother. But you can relinquish much of the disciplines that were necessary in that early on. You have come into your own. You have raised your children and your husband is a man among men. Of course you are still there for these people. They are your mortal family and you will always have a place for them as wife and mother, but you are your own person, and it is that person that is hungry for its own existence. It is that part of you that wants to be nourished appropriately … and to take her teacher for a walk.
Hunnah: Well, this has been very enriching. I really appreciate it. I can hardly wait to experiment. Years ago in my journal I resigned my worldly title in my work, because I had this revelation that I couldn’t do anything about all the problems that I was dealing with, that I could only go to be myself and meet with them, to help them manage their lives. It was a streamlined new definition for me. So in a sense I can apply this to myself as a wife and mother — and as a T/R or whatever has to do with having a label on it. I can release it to spirit and step back and see what happens.
It’s going to be, hopefully, not overrun, because I have to remember that the person I’m with has their definition of who I am and what role I’m playing, and when they act like they expect me to be that role, it’s a call to return to it. It’s going to take some . .. poise, and understanding.
JASMINE: Well said.
Hunnah: Thank you so much.
JASMINE: I look forward to our run.
Hunnah: Yes! (Laughter) She’ll bring the leash to me!
JASMINE: I leave you with my embrace, all of you.
TOMAS: I am Tomas.
Hunnah: Welcome back.
Teacher Contact
TOMAS: I am glad to be back, although I have not been away. How peculiar these amenities are that you encumber yourself with. I heard a question, Anne.
Anne: You did?
TOMAS: I did.
Anne: I was going to ask if I could talk to my teacher? Philomena?
TOMAS: One moment.
PHILOMENA: Greetings. I am startled! I came on-line and a motor started. I thought I had walked into the wrong room! I am unaccustomed yet to this experience of manifesting a part of me in and through another. I am, even so, glad to have the experience. I am looking forward to being more intimate with you, my child, so that we can proceed in our communications one-on-one. Not that I would not enjoy more of these kinds of exposures, but because we could do this without turning on any engines. I do not mean to appear impatient. I am glad you have sought my presence. I am coming very close to you, and embracing you.
I hope you appreciate the challenge that it presents for me to convey this to you in a meaningful fashion. I am embracing you all the time, but you are not aware, and so, in order to make you aware of my constant presence, I will tell you that I am embracing you, so that perhaps you can recognize my embrace, and as you become familiar with my embrace, you will be able to perceive it when you and I are far away from here and this energy configuration. And so I say to you:
Experience my energy patterns in company with yours [as] if you were to smell my scent, take it in, and recognize the aroma of my friendship in your everyday realm; hear my musical notes in your ears; recognize my tone and timbre; hear the music that I sing to your soul, harmonizing with you in our friendship.
Clo sing
I embrace you, all of you. I adore your Indwelling Adjuster and your potential. I am empathetic with your personal life experiences. I have sorrowed in your sorrow and rejoiced in your joy. I have stumbled when you have fallen and I have helped you up when you have risen.
I am pleased to be your close associate and guide. There is nothing that you cannot share with me. There is no music that you can make that would not be harmonious to my ears; and there is no aroma that you can give off that would not be a delightful fragrance to me, for I love you that deeply and care for you that sincerely. And so, feel my embrace.
