2003-04-13-Disappointment
Costa Rica #146
Contents
• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Disappointment
o 1.2 Group: Costa Rica TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Alana, Legion
o 2.2 TR: S. Butterfield
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Opening
o 3.2 Lesson
o 3.3 Dialogue
o 3.4 Closing
Topic: Disappointment
Group: Costa Rica TeaM
Facilitators
Teacher: Alana, Legion
TR: S. Butterfield
Session
Opening
ALANA: (apparently something was transmitted before tape was turned on, because it seems to begin in the middle of something with Alana.) Turn toward the love. Allow the love. Thank you. For it is by your allowance that I am here. Welcome.
Lesson
ALANA: So, it is love and acceptance that allows for disappointment to become something from which you grow toward greater understanding. It is the bitterness of refusal, the denial of fear, the impatience of betrayal, that leads you away from understanding and turns disappointment into rage and the drudgery of empty faith. Thus, I am here, my beloveds, to lift you up into the arms of love that disappointment may be seen through the eyes of love, and you may see through your fears and doubts and once again walk the path of love and joy.
David: Unhmm.
ALANA: So we have love here today, yes?
David: Unhmm.
ALANA: And joy?
David: Yes.
Sandy: Oh..
ALANA: A little? A little joy, yes? Not as good as a big joy, yes? (Sandy: No, but better than none. David: It was wonderful to hear you laughing earlier.
Sandy: Thank you, David.
ALANA: Each little joy provides the opportunity to turn, yes? to turn toward love for that extra sustenance. “But where is love, Alana? When there is such great disappointment and so little joy?” Love embraces you, even in agony. Thus the practice of the stillness wherein you may practice turning toward that love that, invisible as it may be, is real; unprovable as it may be, is there waiting for you to turn and receive.
Open your heart to the disappointment: the disappointment of life, the disappointment in life, the disappointments among each with each, one with another. Embrace disappointment with love and you will see the way. Embrace disappointment with love and you will experience, directly, the value of your faith, the power of your faith to strengthen you and bring you joy.
Dialogue
Sandy: Excuse me, Alana. I don’t really understand this…embrace disappointment with love.
ALANA: : You have the opportunity to embrace disappointment with rage, yes? Or, to jump into disappointment and drown in sorrow. Or, to turn disappointment into declarations of war, even the “little war,” the “gentle war” among beloveds. Embracing disappointment with love, one recognizes immediately that this disappointment is shared. Shared grief. Shared fear. Shared doubt. In the sharing of love, and in the sharing of love’s disappointments, there grows the understanding that you are not alone. In that moment of understanding, you are embraced by love. You experience no disappointment in you, only love. Is this useful, what I have said?
Sandy: Yes, thank you.
ALANA: : My beloved, I whisper to you, many times a day, “I love you. I embrace you.” And I whisper: “This too shall pass.” “Steady as you go.” “Have faith.” It is in times of doubt and fear, pain and suffering, that we most gain joy from the exercise of faith; from the turning to love to embrace life and all love’s disappointments, and in that embrace to be renewed in the joy of knowing you are loved.
Each individual must learn to have faith in the path of love: individually, within, turning to the stillness when in distress, or need, or emotional turmoil; and turning without, sharing the stillness, that peace of love, the heart room, daring to speak the truth with love, having faith and certainty in speaking to one’s beloved, one’s friend, one’s enemy. So, turn, now, to Alana, in the heart room, and step with me into the pool of love and forgiveness, and let us refresh ourselves, yes?
David: I wish Sandy could get some healing in the pool today. Is that a possibility? Her heart has been in such pain with this for so long. I’m just asking for some help for my sister.
ALANA: : Yes.
David: Thank you for the beautiful love you’ve given to me, for Sandy, for all my sisters and brothers, but I’m thinking of Sandy now, in the heart room with her. Part of it is that I feel close to Sandy because of the love that she expresses for all of you feels like the same kind of love that I have for you…I feel that kinship…that communion of love…that humility of respect for love.
ALANA: : Yes. Allow my love to seep through the fear and doubt. Allow my love to enter into the construction of your thought: “I will not live a lie. I am loved.” “I will learn to enjoy. I am loved.” “I trust I will know I am loved.” “I know that I know I am loved, now.” Know that you are loved. Allow my love. Allow. So, relaxing now in the pool of love and forgiveness, is there any chit-chat you wish to share? (laughter)
Sandy: It was funny…I think I had a Davina moment…when David was expressing his love for me and his wish for my healing…I had this vision of the three of us cavorting in the pool of love and forgiveness!! Like children!! Splashing water at each other. Floating around and playing. It was such a nice feeling.
ALANA: : Yes, my beloved.
Sandy: The other thing I wanted to say is that in my sickness I have lost my sense of worthiness of love…lost the divining rod…lost the direction inside me…and when you have spoken to me in the past, here, I’ve wept because I haven’t felt worthy. I must be getting better because today I feel worthy. I am so grateful for the love of my friends, and for you. Thank you.
ALANA: : Yes, my beloved. That is fear and doubt, yes? That I have lost my worthiness, yes? That is a plague of the mind, of the human being on Urantia, yes? And so I say unto you, remember me when you remember Davina’s romp in the pool of love and forgiveness with you. And remember this, in your imagination’s will to love, you saw Davina playing with you, yes? And this, my beloved, was true. For this, my beloved, happened. And so, Alana said, “and now shall we relax in the pool of love and forgiveness,” for she wished to allow that understanding of joy in the midst of all fear, doubt, and struggle, when you embrace all with love and forgiveness. And so, you saw the play. And you felt the love. And you knew the worthiness to receive the joy that is my love for you, that is the heart room, that is our Father’s love, our Mother’s love, Michael’s love, our design for you to know our love. Thank you. Thank you for welcoming our love.
Sandy: Thank you for teaching me how to love.
ALANA: : Yes. Welcome change with love. Yes?
Sandy: So! First it was disappointment. Now it’s change, too! (laughter)
ALANA: : Yes. You walk into the room and your beloved gives you one of those looks!
David: Ooooooo…laughter
ALANA: Sir David can speak to you about this, learning how to welcome change with love, carrying your bouquet of delight, only to be wilted by a look lacking sunshine. Yes?
Sandy: (laughter) That’s a disappointment, isn’t it.
ALANA: : Yes.
David: I think you’ve been listening into the brotherhood, haven’t you?
ALANA: : Yes.
David: Some of your words and phrases were used in a conversation that Rick and I had this morning.
ALANA: : I would teach women how to greet the many changes of their beloved male partners with love. And Legion would teach the men how to welcome their beloved female partners with the comfort of love. We would teach you that when you are on the path of love, which is to choose love, and to choose love, and to choose to love, and to choose to love, and to learn to love, and to stumble and to fall, and to learn to fall with love…that it is really not a question of…well, falling in love is one of your favorite things to do…yes? (laughter)
David: One of my favorite addictions, yes.
ALANA: : But to fall with love…to be disappointed in love…this, my beloveds, this is the work. To choose to know love when love appears to be absent.
Sandy: That’s the biggest challenge of all.
ALANA: : Yes. To trust in your love even when….well…. (David chuckles)…we needn’t say it, yes? Each of you knows how ugly you can be, yes?
David: Right.
ALANA: Then, my beloveds, to embrace that ugliness with love…yes?
David: I remember once when I saw my son-in-law kick his dog many years ago…I remember I felt such compassion because somehow I knew he was kicking himself in some way…there was a sense in which I embraced that, allowed it to be and to enter into my heart…I understand what you are saying about embracing our ugliness…our humanness, actually.
ALANA: : Yes. Any couple is no more, nor less, than two human beings willing to love. Willing to love, my beloveds. Choosing to love. And choosing again, and again. We do not bring to you someone to love for you just to have that whirly-gig time of “getting to know you.” Yes? But also to be willing to love when the whirly-gig breaks down a bit and you can not have your favorite ride. That is when you must choose: the will to love, choosing the will of love, having faith that the will of love will show you the way, standing naked, seeing through and being seen, and willing to love. So if then you are willing to express your love, to give it freely, it is, indeed, a moment to celebrate. Break the molds of silence. Thank you.
Closing
LEGION: This is Legion.
David: Welcome, Legion.
LEGION: Thank you. I am reinforcing the heart room by straightening the spine of each of you and allowing the energy of love to flow through. As well, I am opening your backs and allowing love to pour through your bodies. I kiss each one of you on each shoulder, and at the base of the neck.
When you think of me, or when you wish to speak with me in your stillness practice, think of me in your spine, and even in your bones, but as flexible, and with the strength of iron bone. You may draw on my energy for you are each learning the discipline of strengthening the body. I would have you understand Legion’s discipline as welcome: an intimate relationship with your physical experience, that, with every attempt you make to follow my vibration in the guidance of strengthening, will be a pleasure, or welcome. Welcomed without disappointment, but with joy.
If you “forget” Legion, but then remember, you will remember “a reminder is no criticism.” For when you remember, which is to say when you turn to invite the experience of the intimacy of Legion within your body, strengthening, you will experience being welcomed with love. You may also, at times, experience when you turn, “Aha! It was Legion who reminded me!” or “It was Alana who reminded me.” or “It was my beloved who reminded me.”
And you will understand, and Legion repeats with joy, “a reminder is no criticism.”
So I ask you now to allow Legion into your spines, to bring you the strength, comfort, and certainty of my love for you. Will you welcome me with love? You will see, as you, step by step, allow this to be, you will experience the stillness, and my love. Pain will fall away. Thank you.
The discipline of love, first exercised within yourself, will reveal to you when the next step, with another, toward another, for another, is guided by love. This step will look easy, free, flowing, welcome. When it is seen as the burden of obligation, you will find resistance in your self, perhaps others, or the situation, a thing to be overcome, that exhausts you. Love is not exhausting. Love is sustaining. There is a time line. One must learn discernment. Many errors will be made. Continue the discipline of love. Continue to practice.
You carry the wrong burden. When the time comes for you to speak your heart with love, the words will come easily, and you will be heard. Be not in a hurry. We do not chain you to the table of love. The heart room walls are not the cement pillars of a church. The table of love is in your heart to be shared whenever you can; when you can not, forgive yourself, turn and try again. The walls are your discipline, the discipline of learning to love.
Do not multiply errors in your mind. Practice the discipline of love. Strengthen that practice. The co-ordination of the heart and the mind in the energy of love toward the path of joy. Thank you.
