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CWM42 – Cultural Transformation; Parenting & Children

2012-02-10  – Cultural Transformation; Parenting & Children
– Feb. 10, 2012

Conversations with Monjoronson #42

Global sustainability and planetary management
The state of anticipation
Is all the information available for educating youth on sex and parenting?
What is the proper way to teach children about religion?
How do we teach children about medicine and good health practices?
What is the proper way for parents to educate their children?
The importance of parental experience
Cosmic citizenship
The privilege of procreation
The needs of Indigo and Crystal children
Children born with physical or emotional problems
The discipline of children
Allowing children to fail
Should the child be placed in competitive situations?
Obesity in children
Bullying is a problem for our youth
Parental divorce or separation
Families, education and procreation are all related
Dealing with teen pregnancies
Society’s obligation to children
The concept of ‘good parenting’

TR: Daniel Raphael
Moderator: Michael McCray

February 10, 2012

Prayer: Heavenly Father, we are most grateful for the opportunity to come together again in this venue, knowing that you live within us as we live within you, we are thankful for the loving over-care that you provide. We are thankful too, that you have provided a hierarchy of beings who love us as you do and will help lead us and our world to you.

MMc: Good morning, Monjoronson.

MONJORONSON: Good morning. Thank you, dear ones.

MMc: Thank you for your blessing last week. My cold went away and I’ve felt well all week.

MONJORONSON: Wonderful, good!

MMc: Do you have anything that you would like to share with us before we start?

Global sustainability and planetary management

MONJORONSON: Yes. I addressed you some months ago—a couple of years ago—where I discussed global sustainability and planetary management. For many of you, you were taken aback by our candidness and what was revealed. We did that for several reasons, but today’s note includes the thought that we wish you to think of your world in long-range terms, long-range goals, that planetary management is not some quarterly or yearly process of meeting some short-term goals, but planetary management has all to do with organizational systems and fitting short-term goals into long-term goals. If you were a planetary manager, you would not be much interested in linear, longitudinal-type of operations that ended with some type of results and then perhaps did not go on.

You would not be interested in some type of linear management system that did not provide feedback to you, to make amendments and changes. Planetary management is a known science; it is something that is taught to Planetary Princes, Planetary Managers. They go to school to learn this; they have access to all the archives of millions of planets, many of which are very similar, or almost identical to the planets that they are managing. The history is complete. Yet, the experiential process of managing a planet yields tremendous results for the planetary manager and for the inhabitants. The case for Urantia is that we are seeking to develop processes within your organizational structures that provide feedback to its long-term goals. We are not so much concerned about short-term goals at all.

What is missing from your worldview, from your mental model of the world, is the circular nature of life’s activities and its processes. You see a goal, you set objectives to achieve the goal, and when you achieve the goal you are happy and celebrate and that is the end of it, and then you begin to set another goal. Whereas in our work, we see the short-term objectives and goals as part of a feedback system. When a goal is achieved, what does that say about the process that led to that goal? Is there room for improvement? Can we adjust this so that these successes are repeated over and over and over again? So, you see, that the Correcting Time is a process to provide an active, ongoing more visible feedback system, both to the inhabitants of your world and to us, to achieve better results for this world. The results come down to the quality of lives of the individuals, such that they can make choices to live better and more competently, so that they have a better chance of succeeding and surviving in the afterlife.

As we said some time ago, the quality of souls graduating from Urantia was of such a low quotient that emergency necessities had to be installed to improve what was developing here. Rather than a spiraling down of your societies and civilizations, we want to see a spiraling upward and the improvement of the individual lives of individuals. Much has been written about systems management and systems thinking that I urge you to do your own research concerning that. You will find that this will be a repeating theme of ours in the days, weeks, months and years, decades and centuries ahead. Everything feeds to another process; it repeats itself. This is not cyclical, but circular, and so we need to have feedback systems installed in your organizations.

For your commercial organizations, the feedback system is based on profit or loss. This is very narrow, it is extremely narrow, and in our terms it is so narrow it looks like a hair that is stretched between two points—it is that narrow. It does not see the other ancillary processes as being a beneficial product of the organization, and these are the things that we are most interested in. The project that we have undertaken is to bend the cultures of your world such that they take on many of the characteristics, attitudes and mental models that we have, that all the actions of individuals, families, communities and societies would begin to bend to this new model. In terms of how you humans would define what we are doing, this is a cultural, transformative initiative. You will see this phrase many times in the future and it should be seen as a signal that this is something radically different, radically important and to take notice and to invest yourself in participating in this. This is what we are doing; it is major; it will affect all the cultures of your world.

If you consider the culture of solely the United States, its main culture was begun with the immigration of the pilgrims to this country. It was changed immensely and was institutionalized in the 1700’s with the “Declaration of Independence” and formally installed with the “Constitution” of this nation. What has happened too is that the commercial interests of your nation began to form a culture, which you are enjoying today. But, on the other hand, you are seeing evidence in your culture that it has reached its apogee (the height of its trajectory) and that it is on the way down now. We are here—not to intervene—but to help you re-invent your culture, so that it becomes survival oriented, and that the visions of individuals will fit nicely into the vision of a sustainable civilization, society, nation, community, family and individual.

Through our hopes and our wishes for you, we will not cease our efforts to install this new culture in your world until we have been successful. We ask you to assist us in that; you have already begun by listening to the advice, wisdom and guidance of your Thought Adjusters, guardians and celestial teachers. Your conscious connection and your conscious conversation with your Thought Adjuster, guardian and teachers is vital, though it is not absolutely necessary. If you have an out-loud conversation with these entities but do not hear anything, you will surely be heard. Your sincerity and your intention is foremost with your communication with them, as they thoroughly understand this long before you have even formed it in words. Forming it in words makes a commitment in a relationship to them, with them and they will support you as your efforts are in alignment with the Father’s Will, and Christ Michael’s Will for this world. Thank you.

The state of anticipation

MMc: I have been standing with my toes hanging over the edge for some time now, anticipating something. Do I have sometime yet to wait, or did I miss something?

MONJORONSON: Oh no, you did not miss anything. You will be standing on the brink with your toes hanging over for quite some time. What we wish you to do in that state of anticipation—rather than anxiety—and in your anticipation, to cast around the horizon in front of you, over this tremendous abyss, to make sure that when the hand of change is reaching up to grab you, that you pull back a little bit so that you are not pulled into the abyss of change.

MMc: I don’t want to fall into the hole!

MONJORONSON: Definitely not. That is why we have warned you; that is why we are here to advise you, and you—the greater you—who are reading this, and others who have not, but who will eventually read this. We are here to help you prepare for what is to come, and that we need your survival, we need your presence in the future to know the way and share the way with others, who do not see it as clearly as you do.

MMc: Well, we thank you for your help, your advice.

Is all the information available for educating youth on sex and parenting?

You spoke of the future where the parents are responsible for the education and socialization of their children. When children are beginning to enter puberty, they receive sex education classes and later, as the need arises, these would be augmented by classes for procreating couples and parenting classes. This presupposes a fully functioning educational system in the future. We do not have that now. Is all the information available now for us to put in place, the education for our youth and procreating couples and parenting classes?

MONJORONSON: Yes, there is definitely sufficient educational material to share with children. Parents are totally responsible now, have been and always will be in the future for the socialization and education of their children. When children are precocious and get into sexual trouble it is usually because parents have withheld informing their children in a rational way, to assist the child [to] make reasonable, logical, healthy decisions about their present situation and future. Parents need to be candid with their children. They need to research this material themselves, until it is more organized. You will find that there are already programs for educating children about procreation. It is an ongoing, continuing process that occurs throughout the child’s life until they leave home. It begins very early.

It can be easily shared with children who live on farms and see animals mate to procreate the next year’s crop of calves or foals, bunnies or chickens. It is a natural process that is oftentimes missed in the cities, where farm animals are not visible. There is a natural curiosity that is attendant to growing up and to maturing, and to the awakening mind and the social awareness of where babies come from. This curiosity is a natural place to begin answering children’s questions. What parents must do is not to tell the child how to think, but to offer these situations as opportunities for decisions about their own sexuality and their social conduct, in terms that provide them with information to make reasonable, rational, decisions that support them in their social existence among their peers, and to help prepare and to build a future where their own offspring come at a time when they want them, desire them and will then fulfill the obligations of parenthood to their own children.

What is the proper way to teach children about religion?

MMc: What is the proper way for parents to teach their children about religion?

MONJORONSON: It first begins by understanding that there is a Creator, just as there is a question about where babies come from, there is a question that is unasked by children. It is, “Where did this world come from? How did it come into being?” “How is it that I am here?” Why is this world present?” “There are stars in the sky—who made that?” Religion is a personal relationship with the Creator, the Divine, the Deity Creator of all that exists, and it exists within that individual, that child. It is never too early to talk to children about God, and the existence of God, and that there is a personal relationship. It is important—this is far more important than teaching children about formalized, institutionalized religion that is organizational religion, which has its own beginnings—to assist individuals and groups of individuals to have a formalized process for worshipping God. But at first and foremost it begins with a personal relationship between the individual and God, and this is a responsibility of parents to teach this to their children, just as they are responsible for teaching their children about sex and procreation. This is a broad process of socialization to prepare the individual for their afterlife in the ascendant career, and it begins with mothers and fathers who love God, and teach their children as well to love God, rather than to fear God.

How do we teach children about medicine and good health practices?

MMc: What is the proper way for parents to teach their children about medicine or good health practices?

MONJORONSON: That the individual is responsible for their own healthcare, that it begins with their own relationship with themselves, both as a physical being, as a mental being, a spiritual being, a social being and an emotional being, that their health encompasses all of these areas and that they are responsible for it. The first part is to become aware of their feeling out of sorts, whether it is physically, emotionally, socially or otherwise. It is important the individual begin to attend to themselves and to be self-observing. Self-observing begins first with understanding that you have sprained your wrist and that it hurts. How did it happen? What do I do about this? This self-awareness is then a process that the parent can use to help the child begin to self-observe their inner structures, the inner structures of their emotions, the inner structures of their own thinking, to be observant of that and to make choices about how they think and how they feel, and how they care for their body, and as importantly and more so, how they care for their mind and their emotions, as this will all affect their social relationships and their relationship with God.

Physical pain is not to be blamed upon God, as this is a consequence of injury or illness, and it was not cast upon this individual as punishment. This idea of fearing God and being punished destroys the relationship between the individual and God. Being aware of your personal self, your physical self, is simply a matter of becoming aware of your vehicle, that takes you from here to there, and that you must maintain it. Injuries and illnesses bring our attention to the physical, and they also injure the relationship between the individual and God, that being within themselves who loves them so much. Physical illness and being overly tired and stressed can affect that relationship, and the individual’s relationship with themselves. It is also the responsibility of the parents to point this out to children.

I hope you are beginning to see the responsibilities of parenthood far, far, far exceeds the mere nourishment of the body and the housing of the body, and raising the individual until they leave home. This simply tells the children that they are possessions, much as a car that when it is worn out and cannot be repaired, that it is discarded. This has been the case with many millions of children in this nation and other nations, where they are simply possessions, oftentimes not wanted. This is highly destructive to the relationship of the individual with themselves, with God, with parents and all other people.

What is the proper way for parents to educate their children?

MMc: What is the proper way for parents to educate their children?

MONJORONSON: The proper way to educate children is to talk to children as a friend, one who is adult in spirit, but young in personhood. Many parents have become aware that they are in parentage of spiritual giants, who have yet to become awakened, developed and able to express their spirituality and personhood as physical adults. Their role is to help awaken that giant within that child to become all that they can be in the eventuality of their lives. To speak to children in a condescending manner, as though they are ignorant and less than the adult, is highly off-putting and counterproductive.

The best way to talk with children is first to have children that you want, children that you love, children that you want to care about and want to help awaken their greatness in their lives. If the parent does not want the child, did not care to have this child come into their existence then even before the child is born there will be a barrier between them. Unfortunately, the way the dynamics work between the parents—particularly the mother—is that if this child is unwanted by the mother, this child will be aware of that at the deepest levels of their psyche, even before they are born, and this will manifest in many ways in that child’s life as they grow older. There will be a resistance from the child as they experience life and the relationship with that parent, other parents and authority figures. The way to talk to children is so they know that you love them, and that you welcome them to be in your life and to share what you know about living a healthy, vibrant loving life.

MMc: The Urantia Book mentions several new religious concepts that will affect how we look at procreation and parenting. The first of these is the teaching that parental experience is essential. Would you like to comment on this before I go on?

The importance of parental experience

MONJORONSON: Yes, please, I would. If parents do not see themselves as contributors to the next generation and its successes, then they will not perceive using their own life experiences as training and teaching aids to their children. Parents have tremendous experiences of successes and failures that can be shared with children, long before the children need to experience those things themselves. Parents, however, are oftentimes reticent and reluctant to share their failures and their successes, and they are even more reticent to explain how those failures came into existence. Parents must use their personal experiences as teaching lessons to their children; not to tell them not to do that, or to prohibit them from doing such things, but to help the children understand why those negative experiences came into existence in the parent’s life, and that the child need not experience them too, if they understand the decisions and intentions behind the experience that brought about failure.

Life is a system; it is a process of learning from experiences, both positive and negative, both successes and failures. Failure simply says, “Not this way,” and that this can be shared in very pragmatic terms with children, far, far earlier than most parents are willing to, because of their own embarrassment of having failed in their own lives. When parents see themselves as having to portray a continuing succession of successes, then they set themselves up that when there are difficulties, that they expect disappointment in the eyes of the child. This simply is counterproductive and leads to greater difficulty in the relationship between the child and the parent, and the child with themselves, ultimately.

The privilege of procreation

MMc: Would you like to comment on, “The enlarged understanding of the privilege of procreation—giving sons to the Father,” and how it might affect their cultural concepts of procreation and parenting?

MONJORONSON: I think we have discussed this sufficiently in past sessions that further discussion may pass over the heads of the readers. It would be important to read about the privilege of parenthood again, to have readers begin to scratch their heads and wonder about that. (One moment.) We have discussed this among ourselves and are willing to answer your question in a limited fashion.

The privilege of parenthood is a state of attitude. It is an intention. The privilege of parenthood would mean that you would have a humble attitude towards the privilege of begetting several children in your family, as a benefit to your community, to your society, that you have been awarded this privilege to procreate children who would be desired not only by yourself and your family of origin, but your community, your neighborhood, and that they would come by and shake your hand and give you a big hug, stating how wonderful it is that you have been selected to have children, and in fact, you have been asked to procreate four children, and that you have this tremendous privilege that you have the opportunity to fulfill, if possible. And further, that in the honoring of you and your partner to have children, that you would then have the support of your family, your neighborhood and your community to help you in raising these children.

The honor of parenting becomes something that is a personal symbol of achievement that you and your partner represent the best interests of the community for sustainability, by bringing forth the best possible children, who could become—not necessarily ‘examples,’ but highly contributing members of their society, neighborhood, community and with their own families, eventually. The privilege of parenthood is something that is rarely seen on your planet. You take parenting as a natural course of becoming an adult, having sexuality, and it is not seen as something that is a highly privileged position, one of social acclaim and acknowledgement, and this will change in time and must change.

MMc: Thank you. The Urantia Book mentions that these new religious concepts, that teaching parental experience is essential, the idea of procreating cosmic citizens, enlarged understanding that the privilege of procreation is to make sons for the Father, are to change our culture mightily. How long do you think it will be before we actually see these changes?

MONJORONSON: In your terms, a long time. This is the intention of the efforts of the Correcting Time, and its missions are to bring these about. “When” is not a productive question to ask. It is all developmental and we have only begun the developmental steps within the last 25-30 years. We are seeing tremendous activity now, on our part, to speed up that development to be in tune with and to precede the difficulties, the difficult era that lies ahead for your nation and the world.

Cosmic citizenship

MMc: Do you have any comment then on how the idea of procreating cosmic citizens might affect our culture?

MONJORONSON: It is not necessary to express that at this point. The status of “Cosmic Citizen” is far greater than what most humans on Urantia are capable of encompassing, but of course it begins by leading a life that desires to be in the company of God, and to aspire to that ideal, knowing that even along the way there will be many failures, but these only simply say, “not this way,” “do not do this,” but to strive to achieve success. Cosmic citizenship is an accolade, a station of ascension, which is so remote to most of you that it is unachievable in your mortal lifetime. Oftentimes, it is not achieved until long after the individual has been in the morontial realm.

The needs of Indigo and Crystal children

MMc: We have heard of the Indigo or Crystal children being born. What are their special needs in order to reach their full potential?

MONJORONSON: Loving parents who want the children who come into their life. These children best evolve and develop in a loving, supportive environment. They are being born all over the world, as we have said numerous times in the past, but that it is the environment that generates the most capable qualities of these children. Therefore, you will see children sometimes arising out of the most despicable social circumstances in the world, to become incredible leaders. Yet, those are only one in thousands of children who are born, who do not ever have the opportunity to grow. We will see more and more of these children become evident in developed and maturing nations, which have good social support systems in place to provide the environmental supports for these children to develop to their full potential. You will see them in evolved and mature democracies and other nations, which provide for the development of children. You will see these children stand out more so in families that are limited in numbers, simply because there are more resources in smaller nuclear families that are available for the children to experience and grow through. Families with 8 and more children have less capability of providing the supportive environment and resources necessary for these children to reach and develop their full potential.

MMc: Are the parents of these children in need of specific training?

MONJORONSON: That is a choice that they make. We are striving to make our work visible to many people, so that they have the curiosity to read about these materials and where they are insufficient to guide them, that they do their own research into positive and supportive materials that are available in your society, to assist them to raise their children. The difficulty of helping a world evolve is that developmentally you must begin somewhere, and of course, you oftentimes become involved with individuals who had parents who were ignorant, who did not know any better, and so this is the work of Thought Adjusters, guardians and celestial teachers and the midwayers to awaken those individuals who are not raised in supportive environments to become aware and to then seek out the information and supportive materials in their literature, to assist them to raise their children to become more aware at an earlier age, and we are making good progress in this process.

Children born with physical or emotional problems

MMc: It seems some problems, such as autism in our children is on the increase. What is causing this?

MONJORONSON: I have discussed this before, only recently. I suggest that you review the literature for those answers.

MMc: When a child is born with severe physical or emotional problems, the parents are often unable to cope with the situation. Do you have any guidance for these parents?

MONJORONSON: It is the advice of the ages of your spiritual and religious leaders that patience, tolerance and forgiveness are utmost in parents who have these children in their presence. Procreative individuals who do not want to raise children with such difficulties are advised to seek out having their gene structure examined for anomalies or chromosomal breakages and difficulties such as that. When they become parents they will have a greater possibility of having children who are naturally evolving and developing, rather than being disabled emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually.

There will become an awakening among your populations, particularly of young people and those in pubescence, to become aware of the difficulty of raising children with these limitations and handicaps, and that they become aware of the option of having children or not to have children, and that they use the necessary birth control procedures to protect themselves from begetting children who are disabled as you suggest. You will see then where this situation fits nicely with the privilege of parenting, where those people who have good gene structures, have the privilege of raising not one or two, but three or four children, with the assistance of those in the neighborhood, who chose not to have children, but who want to have the childrearing experience, which assists everyone to develop the parenting characteristics and traits that are so desirable in spiritually evolving individuals.

The discipline of children

MMc: Looking at The Urantia Book, I’ve found Paper 84:7.20: “Among ancient savages, discipline of children was begun very early; and the child early realized that disobedience meant failure or even death just as it did to the animals. It is civilization’s protection of the child from the natural consequences of foolish conduct that contributes so much to modern insubordination.” Would you enlarge a little on the ideas presented in that last sentence?

MONJORONSON: Yes. Your society and civilization as it advances, becomes more and more remote [from] being attacked by a predatory animal when you are outside. So, the discipline of self-protection becomes less and less obvious. However, there is discipline that needs to be instilled in children early, to assist them and protect them from the predators of life in your social realm. These can be overly-doting grandparents, or it could be the sexual predator next door. Parents must teach their children early about the realities of life. This is not done through fear; it is not done through guilt; it is done through simply making the child aware of their environment, and not to instill fear in the child that they are going to be a victim. This is a process of becoming aware of your environment.

Many, many people in your society are totally oblivious to the environment around them, and in fact, protect themselves from the environment by listening to their iPods and other devices, which provide them with entertainment, as they are in the community walking around or jogging. This creates a highly unstable, insular, unprotected situation for the individual, so that they could become a victim. There is little discernment taught to children early in life, and this skill is vital to all areas of life. Discernment is important to teach children about how to view individuals, how to see their environment, and to be observant without being judgmental, and then to make decisions to protect themselves without falling into guilt, or falling into victimization or falling into over-protection. This is an area of learning which is not very well understood in your modern society and needs to be explored, and methods of teaching children how to be observant and self-protective in their environment.

MMc: Many parents are divided or unsure of how to discipline their children. Do you have any suggestions to help them now, before the parental schools become established?

MONJORONSON: Yes, most definitely. Let me pause first, please. Consistency is important between the parents in how they discipline the child. Where you have an overly permissive parent and an overly dominant, domineering and authoritarian figure, you will oftentimes have a child who has a split personality, almost a social schizophrenia, and it sets them up for tremendous difficulty in life. The advice that we can give parents at this time is to be aware of their style. There are so many parents who are unaware of their style, their mental model for parenting and what it should look like. It is simply a reaction to or in alignment with the way that they were raised. Oftentimes this is dysfunctional at the least, so it is important that the parents be aware of their parenting style, and it is important that both parents be aware of their individual styles and that they come to some reasonable agreement on how to parent the child, together. This is a process of becoming self-aware and is one of the most difficult areas for parents and parents-to-be to consider. Many times, children who grow up say to themselves, “I will never treat my children that way,” but in fact they do exactly the same as they were treated themselves when they were children. It is a process to become self-aware. It is a most difficult situation, as most parents are unaware of their own selves, and incapable of making decisions about how they think, how they feel, and even what they say. Self-awareness is primary to development and growth for all ages.

Allowing children to fail

MMc: Should we allow children to fail?

MONJORONSON: Yes, of course. Failure is vital to success. It is just as erroneous to teach a child to have repeated successes, as it is to tell a child that they will always fail. It provides a child with unreasonable expectations that do not match the realities of life as they grow up. Always protecting children, always doing for them where they can do for themselves, sets up the child to then be a failure in adulthood, and adulthood will last far longer than the childhood. Parents must be willing to let their children be exposed to failure, even to danger, but danger that is reasonable. Your choosing to raise a child to let them explore their world is vital to the nature of that child to feed their curiosity, and to explore, and to know where there is danger and where there is not. Failure is a highly important part of learning about life; failure does exist. Even dominant teams of individuals oftentimes fail and it is something to be learned from. Championship individuals learn to have greater successes from the failure of others and from their own failures. Viewing the failure of others helps the generation become much more successful in ways that do not deal with competition.

Should the child be placed in competitive situations?

MMc: So it is good to place the child in competitive situations?

MONJORONSON: Yes, of course, within reason and within reasons of their capabilities for the potential of success. To place a child in a situation where you know they will fail is mean-spirited.

MMc: Is it good for children to be in sports that are highly competitive?

MONJORONSON: It is not a desirable situation, but can be tremendously ameliorated by the attitude of the parents. If the parent is highly competitive and the child is in a highly competitive sport, then there will be great losses of personality development that will take place in this competitive environment. The child, being in a highly competitive field, however, with parents who are not competitive, and who assist the child in understanding the competitive nature of their participation in that sport, will provide the child with a tremendous understanding of themselves in competition. However, in highly competitive sports where the difference between winning and losing is in the terms of 1/100th of a second, then the attitudes of the parents will have a detrimental effect upon the child’s success to become a winner. The real attitude toward participation in the sports that we wish to see evolve and develop, is that this is a field for personal development—physical, mental, emotional—it is a field of discipline and that winning or losing is secondary to the evolution of the individual as a personality in preparation for life as an adult, and in preparation for their own lives ahead as they become parents.

Obesity in children

MMc: Our population has a problem with obesity, even among children. Would you address this issue, as it appears to have ramifications?

MONJORONSON: This too, is a matter of self-awareness. It is very similar to the parenting problem and it runs in parallel. What you are finding is that your society and its food culture, and the attitude of individuals about foods is very similar to competitiveness, in that most people are oblivious of what they are doing, that they have caloric intakes of 3,000 – 6,000 calories a day, when they only need calories sufficient to 1500-2000 calories a day. Many are oblivious to this and have a support system that is oblivious or uncaring, or in fact condones it and supports it. There are many who see that they are obese, but do nothing about it, do not have the curiosity to determine whether they are imbibing 5 liters of highly sugar saturated drinks during the daytime, plus heavy fat meals later.

Individuals who truly have a problem are those who have caloric intakes that are very low, but who continue to gain weight. The body is working to survive and sees itself as being in jeopardy, and so it changes the endocrine and metabolic processes such that it retains weight. In the main, your societies—and I say that largely, even past the borders of the United States—are oblivious to self-awareness, and that it is always ‘out there’ in external, and even the individual who lives within the obese body, sees their body as ‘out there,’ and not relevant. This is most unfortunate and is evidence of a society that is in decline and beginning to come into decay.

Bullying is a problem for our youth

MMc: Bullying is another problem for our youth. Attempts to disallow it in schools are not working. Do you have any suggestions?

MONJORONSON: This too is a product of oblivious parents, parents who are oblivious to the existence of the child, either as victims or bullies. You live in a highly competitive society and there is an “in group,” and an “out group,” and the “in group” is in charge of who is in and who is out. The video game culture promotes aggressiveness and hostility, and there is a premature endocrine development in children in your society that brings on masculinity and femininity far too early in youth, and that the aggressiveness of males has gone from the late teens, now into the early teens and even pre-adolescent individuals.

This is a product of many difficulties in your society that have not been addressed. One is unwanted children; another is self-awareness and the lack thereof; and the lack of what children are doing and the distancing of parents in their own lives from the lives of their children. The development of children who are truly cared for, that they have relationships with others in which they care for others, even strangers, and that those individuals who are different are to be appreciated, rather than to be rejected and punished. There is a gross insecurity in your society in being accepted, and that to be accepted and be a part of the “in group,” means that you reject and punish and destroy those who are different from yourself. You are seeing again the destruction, the disintegration and the decay of a society that is beyond its own control.

Parental divorce or separation

MMc: You have spoken of the ideal, where a couple comes together and makes the commitment to raise a child to maturity. Often in our society there is a break in this commitment through divorce or separation. Laws regulating these situations vary from state to state, and situation to situation. Is there some overarching concept that you suggest we apply to these situations to ensure the maximum welfare for all concerned?

MONJORONSON: Yes, most definitely. That is, although there are states rights, there are rights of human existence of sustainability. Social sustainability is a primary function that has uniform principles and truths to its promotion. These go beyond state borders and must eventually be incorporated into state laws, so that there is uniformity amongst state laws so they promote the best outcome of a socially sustainable individual family, children and parental relationship.

MMc: One of the great problems in our society right now is the high divorce rate among parents who still have children living at home. Would you please comment?

MONJORONSON: You are right!

MMc: I’m certainly glad that you agree that this is a problem.

MONJORONSON: And I would say, sir, “What are you going to do about it?” When I say “you,” I do not mean necessarily Michael McCray, but “you, your society.” This is not only an important social issue to be concerned about, but it is critical. In fact, it is survival of your societies.

MMc: I agree and that’s why I’m talking to you about it, because [you are] one of our great sources of hope and knowledge. I’m hoping that you can shed some light on this as you have in the past and will continue to do so in the future. It is a problem and I think you have helped us greatly in understanding how we might solve this problem by educating ourselves.

MONJORONSON: You have an old story that is taught to children about “Chicken Little,” who said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling, the sky is falling!” and running around, running around, running around. You have—your societies—are very much aware of the problems within your societies, yet seem so incapable of beginning the process of overcoming them. There are so many processes and developments that you have used to “fix” these problems, but no one has really truly created a process for “solving” them, though we have already provided guidance to your society in the form of the co-creative social sustainability design teams, using the “Schematic for Social Sustainability” and the check points of the three irreducible core values of social sustainability. In order to overcome marriages that result in divorce and children who are unwanted, these social problems must be brought under examination in these teams. It will require far more than one team, but literally hundreds of them as you dissect this problem.

Families, education and procreation are all related

Families, education and procreation are all related; they are all part of the system of human existence that leads to sustainability and not only survival of existence, but to continuing existence that supports its survival and existence, and this is called “social sustainability.” This is our gift to you; we are willing to assist you to engage these processes, but you will not have any more success than Chicken Little until you engage this process. I do not chastise you; I do not scold you for asking this question, as it is a vital question to ask, but the tools are there for you to begin to use them. We have not only provided the lumber, but also the hammers, nails, squares, and plumb bobs. Now you must use those resources to build sustainable societies.

MMc: Our societies tend to make the fathers of children, at least partially responsible for the financial aspects of raising the children they father, but it is only partially effective. Very little pressure is put on the fathers to actually assist in raising these children. Would you care to comment?

MONJORONSON: This too must change. It is not sustainable and does not lead to a sustainable society when children are not given the full benefit of both models—the three models that the father gives and the three models that the mother gives. Each provides the model of parent as father, also of husband, and also of man; and for the mother it is as mother, as wife and as woman. These fixed models are vital to the development of a balanced social psyche of the individual in relationship to themselves and to other individuals, and assists them also in choosing productive mates and partners and mothers of their own children. So it is vital that parents be available to raise children.

It begins again with making that conscious choice to have children, to become aware of the potential of having children—accidentally or intentionally—when that will determine the fate of themselves, of their partner and of the child for decades upon decades to come. Making a choice to have children actually begins quite early; it begins in the prepubescent years between 5 and 9 when the individual becomes aware of themselves as a person in relationship to others as a part of a family, community and society, and that they will eventually become adults and parents themselves. Some people choose not to become adults, and remain in their childhood all their lives. Some choose not to have children and so will become fatherless and motherless and that is a choice. Others will not give any thought to this process and have children with abandon and not care for them, or will have children as an accoutrement to their adulthood, but not really care for what that child becomes or how they become an adult in the years ahead.

Dealing with teen pregnancies

MMc: The schools of Urantia are trying to deal with the problem of teen pregnancies by keeping the mothers in class and having a nursery at the school. Does this encourage more teen pregnancies?

MONJORONSON: After you research your statistics to validate your answer, again, it begins with educating children to delay having children. The process of having mothers in class to finish high school and able to care for their child while they are going to school is a “fix” solution; it is something that fixes the problem but does not create an ongoing permanent solution to your communities and societies. You are beginning to see this round, circular, problem begetting, problem begetting, problem begetting, problem through our discussion today. There must be a way out of this for individuals and for society, and that is through awareness early on of the responsibilities of adulthood, and that those responsibilities would be shared with children during this pre-pubescent era, when they begin to form attitudes and opinions about that adult era and begin to make choices early in that era, about what they will do and what options they will take, and the actions they will take later in life. These must be instilled early in children as a part of their educational system, whether it is done by parents or done by an outside educational agency.

It is best done by parents, but of course if you have ignorant parents, then it will not be done, and the children must become aware of these responsibilities in some other way. We suggest that you begin building educational training models for children, even simulations that could be engaged with early in life, during this early era, when they begin to learn how to operate video games. These simulations are predictable, and the outcomes can be brought to bear at an early age to help assimilate the responsibilities of adulthood, and to teach children apart from ideology the way life works, and does not work. You see, life is very pragmatic in very many ways; it is not a mystery; it is not an unknown, as the knowns are very evident in your life. Many decisions that are made are unsustainable and do not contribute to a healthy, positive, creative contributory life with many personal positive benefits—and those are known. Therefore, these are principles of sustainability. Your world and your society knows all too well the ways that do not work, but the ways that do work are not taught.

Society’s obligation to children

MMc: When neither parent is capable of being a good parent but they decide to keep and raise the child anyway, what is society’s obligation to that child?

MONJORONSON: That is a social decision that must be made at the social level in the community and in your jurisdictions. We have no opinion that we would share at this time.

MMc: I have another quote from The Urantia Book. This is from Paper 123:2.5: “There were few homes in the gentile world of those days that could give a child a better intellectual, moral, and religious training than the Jewish homes of Galilee. These Jews had a systematic program for rearing and educating their children.” Will we one day see such a systematic program for rearing and educating our children?

MONJORONSON: Very definitely.

The concept of “good parenting”

MMc: Will you tell us please, what is your concept of “good parenting?”

MONJORONSON: Parenting has been shot throughout this conversation and previous conversations, and it is something that is very evident. First of all, good parenting involves the consciousness of the individual as a potential parent, and the choice to be a parent, and the obligations and requirements of that commitment, and the intentions for doing so, and then the conscious effort to fulfill that intention and commitment. These do not come easily or cheaply in your society, as they are slowly learned [and] are almost only appreciated by a small percentage of your grandparents, but it is too late for them to beget children and raise them correctly in this type of system that you propose.

MMc: That’s all the questions I have for you today. I thank you for your being with us and allowing us to ask you questions.

MONJORONSON: You are most welcome. You have touched upon the circularity of parenting, the difficulties of parenting and good parenting. Your society is reaping the results of poor parenting and the lack of positive input by your major governmental institutions to assist families in doing that. You live in a society with a tremendous schism between its respect for individuality and the almost uncaring attitude of your larger institutions to assist individuals to raise children properly, consistently and healthfully. It is a most difficult time; we are working with a nucleus of the best of your society and through our readers and through our listeners. We hope this expands in the future. Our assistance is also through the local teams that we hope to see develop, and to assist greatly in helping you devise and write sustainable social policies, both at the family, community, neighborhood and societal levels. It is a responsibility, yes, even of government, to develop sustainable social policies that assist the larger society to exist in peace and harmony, without the advent of bullying or anarchy. Thank you.

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