2006-06-26-One Foot On The Dock
• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: One Foot On the Dock
o 1.2 Group: Marin TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Nebadonia
o 2.2 TR: JL
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Note
o 3.2 Opening
o 3.3 Lesson
o 3.4 Dialogue
o 3.5 Closing
Topic: One Foot On the Dock
Group: Marin TeaM
Dear Folks, Happy Independence Day [USA 4 July]! Here’s a light-hearted lesson from Mother Spirit on…how to be light-hearted. Enjoy, Jerry.]
Prayer. Dear Mother Spirit and Michael, We thank You for the inspiration You’ve given us through Your lessons, encouraging us to keep stretching towards understanding this transcendent reality that enfolds us. We also thank You for being living examples of how spirit is ever gentle and supportive, ever respectful of our views–even while You point us towards greater truth. You give us hope that we too can grow towards treating our fellows as You do. Amen.
Nebadonia. Good evening, My sons, this is your mother, Nebadonia. How I do enjoy your spirited discussions preceding our lessons. You’ve probably noticed yourselves that it actually calms your minds and opens your spirits to receive Our lessons. You are all good students. You enjoy practicing this openness We’ve been teaching, respecting and staying open to each others’ viewpoints. For this is the purpose of Our lessons. To transform all who will but entertain the possibilities We put forth.
(Suspend your disbelief and entertain possibility).
We do not ask you to blindly believe all that We teach, but only suspend your disbelief to entertain the possibility of what We offer. Let it resonate in your heart. Let it reflect in your mind. Let it inspire your spirit and feed your soul. As We’ve said before, you know you are changing and growing when the world about you undergoes a corresponding, complimentary subtle change, when your fellows seem deeper and more complex, outgrowing the stereotypes with which you might once have considered them.
When you begin to perceive the uniqueness in each individual–and welcome this, however it destroys and tears asunder your facile generalizations; then you know you are growing in spirit. We warn you, be prepared for some transitional confusion as your generalizations and stereotypes fall aside. It can seem at times you are heading into unnecessary complications, that things are escaping and getting away from you, that you are standing on a very slippery ground of previous assumptions.
Know that in coming to Us and taking Our lessons to heart, this is what you are asking for. You said it in your prayer this evening, welcome this stretch towards an ever greater understanding of a reality that will always be transcendent. All through eternity you can only approach perfection, you can only approach the Godhead, the absoluteness and infinity of the personality of God.
This slippery ground under your feet, My children, is because it’s alive. The most solid ground you can stand on is spiritual. So ever keep in mind the Origin of the physical and the mental dimensions of reality. As Michael said last week, this is the essence that precedes existence. This is just another reason why your orientation has to be towards the future, towards growth, towards discovery. This is why your greatest strength is in enthusiasm, in hopefulness, in joyfully, gleefully embracing that which seemingly contradicts what you believe. This is especially true with all your political and social considerations. Strive to understand and be conversant with all points of view.
Forsake simplemindedness. For true spiritual simplicity, finding those single precious threads that run through all the viewpoints, can only come about when you thoroughly entertain every viewpoint. This is how you avoid being a fundamentalist yourself, how you keep in mind the transcendent nature of reality simply because it is God’s creation. And this takes awhile. It’s something you have to get used to, this slippery ground which is only your fading, once so rigid and cocksure evaluations and assumptions.
(Living in transition).
Get used to living in transition. Welcome it as proof you are alive. These are all intrinsically uncomfortable situations to be in if you associate yourself with your own thoughts, with your own opinions, with your own past evaluations. This has been pretty much the history of philosophy of the world’s peoples, this constant search for assurance. This is all very understandable and, in the early stages of an individual’s, or culture’s, or a society’s immaturity, unavoidable. But reality itself, being transcendent, calls to you to let the past be the past; in fact, be open to it. Be conscious of, and realize all the steps you’ve come through, all the ideas and notions you’ve had in the past that simply proved limited but necessary stepping stones.
The present moment is alive and, from a human viewpoint, somewhat spontaneous.
It’s a marvelous dance going on We call upon you to join. Realize that all of your notions, all of your ideas, even your ideals, are provisional. All human truth insofar as it can be expressed within yourself, or to each other, is highly conditioned, right down to the language with which you use to express it.
And so, My children, if reality is so slippery, so alive, so changing, vibrant, dynamic, how can you do anything? This is where you learn a process of letting go, feeling life as it slides through your hands. For reality is like trying to hold some only half-tame wild little animal that will totally panic and attack if you try to hold it too tight. Think of having some beautiful, young fox in your hands—raised from a kit, but still a fox. You have to keep letting it go as it struggles to be free, then catching it again, letting it slide through your hands, one after another, as it struggles to be free.
(Spirit is the real solid ground).
This is the situation you find yourself in as you allow yourself to feel more and more the living nature of truth. This becomes your solid ground as a spiritual home base within yourself you achieve by a process of relaxing, just paying attention, getting used to not having to define and categorize and generalize to support some illusion you’re actually capturing something. This is the spontaneous present moment that Michael gave you some lessons on how to achieve last week. You will know you are pointed in right direction, you are feeling your way along this dimension, because the quality of your life will be increasing.
It takes awhile, but you can become comfortable living in transition. Here you will find not only a lot more fun, but this is where you find patience. This is where you find openness and tolerance toward your fellows. This is the spiritual fragrance with which you entice others to join you in a very direct and meaningful relationship with them.
Yes, be gentle. Be respectful of other viewpoints. For this is what you have to offer. This is how you play the part of living spirit. This is how you avoid dogma and polarization, settling into points of view that need to be so defended you end up defending your defenses.
So, yes, My children, keep stretching your understanding of how relinquishing yourself, forgetting yourself, actually leads to greater life. These are only paradoxes seen from a conventional point of view, and We are asking you to step out of convention to know a fulfilling life full of unique events. Let your orientation be everywhere outward in all the realms of physical health, an invigorated, curious mind, and an ultimate home base in spirit.
Come awake. Let go the sleepy dreams of self-assurance through clinging to all your ideas and opinions. See your brothers and sisters in all their full glory, and shine this back to them. Be the cheerful, supportive person with real character and soul, and don’t be surprised then at the love you find in your life. You’ll have become the origin of it. You’ll have taken one more step approaching the Father. This too you will know when you see the people about you are truly lovely.
So strive to make this vision I’ve just given you a reality, and you do this, ironically, by letting go, by welcoming a reality that is already there. This is not something you create so much as you recognize and respect, doing your part to let it be.
If you have any questions or comments this evening, I do believe this is the time for them.
Student. Mother Nebadonia, I feel a bit torn tonight. I have personal questions I wish to ask You about our relationship, and I have a basketful of curiosity questions pretty much all over the chart. But I don’t want to let this opportunity slip by without some satisfaction. I don’t know how much freedom I have here. May I ask You personal questions?
Nebadonia. Yes, My son–Michael and I have always encouraged this above all. Like in the story of the woman at the well who missed her opportunity to speak really personally with Jesus, We’d prefer you speak from your heart and use this time in a way that really counts. So, yes, of course.
(Personal relationship with Mother Spirit).
Student. Well then, I would like to ask You, why have You been calling to me so much lately, and asking me to love You more? How can I love You more, Mother? Why do You continue to ask me this? And You say to me, Love yourself more. And I ask You, How can I love myself more; and how can this help me love You more? I wish to love You with every ounce of my being, Mother. I feel Your presence and the beauty of it. Perhaps You can show me how I can fulfill this desire. Perhaps You are showing me that You are aware of my desire to know You more, to love You more. Mother, why do you continue to ask me that?
Nebadonia. My dear son, never forget that I am part of you, and I experience everything you do as part of your mind. In this sense, there is no separation between us. I immediately feel all your affection, and I would wish only to still your doubt. For it is only your evaluation that you do not love Me enough. It is not Mine. If you seek to love Me more, simply love My children more.
But this is an eternal quest for you, My son, as it is for all your brothers and sisters. As I said during My last lesson, you must be well grounded in the real. You yourself need to appreciate your own love. You need to feel it beaming out from you to My other children so that this ideal of loving more, that you strive for, does not abrade you with feelings of inadequacy or insufficiency. Moment by moment you are a complete being, My son, however you strive to grow, and need to strive this way to keep growing. For you also need to realize that in this present moment, this Eternal Now, you fully—are–and you are My son. I do not ask of you. I feel your love.
Now I want you to take up your soulful residence in the middle of this love We share, and then accept. My love is unconditional. There is nothing you can do to earn it, for any such notion only serves to divide you within yourself.
There is nothing standing between us. But can you accept this? Do you have the free will with which to accept yourself? This is not something you have to answer right now, but I ask you to consider it. Neither Michael nor I ask of you anything you are not already giving Us, joyfully.
You see, this is what it means for Me to be your spiritual mother, the origin of so much of your own mind. Do you understand?
Student. Yes, Mother, I do, and I will consider the question.
(One foot on the dock, the other in a boat).
Nebadonia. We’ve likened the human situation to having one foot on a solid dock and the other in a bobbing boat. Tonight I talked about the living aspect of that boat, of your perceptions bobbing around, and the fact that the solid dock you have your other foot on is actually spirit–which does not even seem real, as you know, to some of your brothers and sisters. But that is your living human reality.
You also always have one foot in the real and one in the ideal. You are complete, you are fully real; and yet you want to grow. You want to keep up with and be a part of a growing universe. You want to be more perfect. Remember that Michael and I, and our Father, see you fully in your completeness. We see the vast extent of the soul you are growing. And so you can trust Us, even though We too will ever be transcendent to you. You can always find Us as you find yourself–in your own home base–with the courage of acceptance. Is there any other way I can help you?
Student. What seems to elude me, and many, many of us here, is that simple request, that we learn to accept ourselves and, as You call it, our completeness. I pray that I will receive these glimpses of Your vision of who I am, more and more, as I have learned to accept my brothers and my sisters as they are. In doing so I can learn to accept myself as I am. For it has eluded me in the past. But as You say, we are not our stories. Thank You, Mother.
Nebadonia. You are very welcome, My son. You see clearly how accepting yourself, and accepting others, are so intimately related. My lesson tonight was to assure you that when you feel these profoundly deep anxieties as to your very existence, and you cannot always realize your own completeness in the present moment, know that you may be approaching a greater truth.
You may be approaching the living essence of spirit, so give yourself credit that your insight and your understanding are dissolving all the one-time sureties you once so confidently thought you had captured. I might suggest that one flavor of life is irony. It takes a very strong person indeed, with great courage, to see that Michael and I, and our Father, do have a sense of humor. And so We encourage you to see Us this way–not only as your helpmates, but as your playmates too; and join the dance.
You are complete, so you needn’t take yourself too seriously. Be in My love, My son, and be in My joy and laughter as well.
Student. Thank You, Mother.
Student. Mother, this question of R’s does bring up something I’m not clear on. Must I love and accept myself before I can love and accept others, or is the process interrelated? That is, I accept myself, and accept others, and these feed upon themselves?
Nebadonia. My son, another way of looking at this is to see that love is what connects you with others, and yourself. If you look right at the nature of this connection itself, then there is no separation as to which comes first–which is the chicken or the egg, cause or effect.
(The real event of experiencing love transforms you).
Generally speaking, if you are too anxious about yourself, you have little energy left over to really notice and take in others. Yet you’ve experienced how the miracle of friendship, or falling in love, can give you a taste of this possible connection between people. In other words, the real event of experiencing love–that this quality does exist–transforms you. It gives you such a feeling of existing that both you and your friend are simultaneously enhanced along this loving dimension of reality. The reality of love.
This is similar to Michael’s point last week. That the more you experience another personality–that independent, different personality exists, the more it resonates within your own. It even adds to your realizing the personality of God–that there is a Supreme Being who creates unique personalities. To answer your question, yes, these are most intimately related.
This is the spiritual unity We talk about that is so contra-distinct from uniformity. This is the love that really unites different spiritual beings. So be not anxious, My son, about your existence. Practice your stillness and get this sense of yourself, independent of any particular activity or ideal, and you will simultaneously be able, then, to welcome others more and more into yourself. You’ll be able, more and more, to let go of yourself and take a genuine interest in others. We realize this does take faith and courage to let go this way. Does this answer your question?
Student. It’s beginning to. I see it’s much easier for me to love and accept others than it is to love and accept myself. But I don’t know as yet what to do about that one. I can make a decision and say I accept myself, but it doesn’t seen to stick very well. I can make the decision to love myself, but that doesn’t seem to stick very well either.
But I do recognize that I am loved by You and Michael and the Heavenly Father, and numerous other beings that I don’t know much about. I have no doubt or question about that love because I’ve experienced it from time to time, and I would like to experience more of it.
Nebadonia. My son, this is why We say that you experience this spiritual sense of yourself not by an exertion, not by, shall we say, setting out to love yourself, for any such activity like this will be based on the smaller part of you, your ego. What you need is to discover yourself. This is a process of letting go, relaxing. Only you do have to value this sense of yourself enough to set aside a part of your day and do it. You cannot feel that practicing stillness or meditation fails if you have not given it a full and honest possibility.
Student. Yes, I see that. I was also wondering if this sense of myself is what You and Michael talk about as being a home base?
Nebadonia. Yes. It’s an awareness of your profound reality, that you are more than this person you think you need to love. It’s a way of setting aside your ego, your normal awareness of yourself–these ideas of who you are that you identify with, and identify with pure consciousness. This takes some effort and some time, some long periods of meditation to wade through–if you will, sometimes like thick grease up to your waist–all these notions of your own anxieties or inadequacies, failures, shortcomings–all these aspects you consider so unlovely. Sometimes you even have to wade through a guilt that in feeling your own completeness, you are only involved in a kind of petty self-satisfaction. This guilt can keep driving you along, yet consistently off balance.
These notions are what stillness precipitates, which is why it is so uniquely difficult at first. You may feel it is causing the anxieties. This is why I gave My lesson tonight on how meditation can, at first, seem to be going in the wrong direction, wiping out all your sureties as it gets rid of these notions you thought you were. It takes a while for you to comprehend. You are enabling your personality to realize itself directly as the pure spirit it is, and you are—essentially. This is your eternal, spiritual part, and so it is a prize of great value, My son, and worth this practice of stillness to experience.
So persevere. Trust that stillness has to be somewhat unique and unconventional for it to work. Otherwise you would not need it, and We would not waste your time and Ours with so many lessons on what’s involved. But if you want the rewards of realizing your completeness and spiritual home base, you have to sincerely try it. I do hope this inspiration helps you move forward.
Student. Yes, Mother, thank You, it does. I recognize I have a lot of things that need to be modified or changed. But I do want the rewards. Thank You very much.
Nebadonia. You’re welcome, My son. Just step off with My love.
Student. I will.
Student. Yes, Mother, as I was sitting here I started feeling really uncomfortable looking at myself, regarding my relationship with (Name). I feel a deep sense of loss, and apprehension and anxiety.
Nebadonia. This could be, My son, because you are truly grasping the meaning of My words, and taking the lesson to heart—allowing yourself to feel what may have been suppressed for awhile.
Student. Actually it started last weekend, in my gathering on Saturday– the pain involved. It seems like I closed my heart, closed my mind, or it wants to open. I guess it’s part of my nature to always be hopeful, even beyond reality. It seems like all my relationships with women have been either unhappy or tragic. I just so desire to be able to love someone, and be loved for who I am, and to share myself with another. But maybe that’s a fantasy.
I’ve also come to understand too that I’m my own self-discovery, that God, and You and Michael, love me no matter what.
I do take consolation in that. I’ve also been experiencing a deep sense of loneliness, which goes to the core of who I am—my identity. But when I was meditating yesterday in the park; I went there feeling what I’m feeling now, and as I sat there and just watched and listened to what was going on within me and all around me, it kind-of dissipated, as I let go, and let God.
The same thing happened today when I came home from work and lied down. It feels so self-absorbed, like I’m not fully alive, like it’s so dense. As You say, Let go of my perceived self, of my desires and neediness, and feelings of loneliness, which are really painful. But I can’t escape them either. As I allow myself to kind-of experience it, and let it go to run its course, and let God, it slowly seems to change within me. I feel less self-absorbed. I feel more centered, and lighter.
Then as my meditation was ending so I could come here, then the words, God is everything, came through. I felt more at peace, more in the moment, more sure of who I am, for all the depths of loneliness and the love I feel for this woman. I could see how it works.
(Two intertwined modalities—spirit and mind).
Nebadonia. Yes, My son, it may help you to understand and, strange as it may seem, actually have faith and confidence in the necessity for this process you are going through, if you consider that you know and experience by two intertwined modalities. You know things spiritually directly— im-mediately– without mediation. This is why when your mind is agitated you’ve learned to let go into your stillness and rediscover, re-realize your completeness as a child of God, as His creation. But your mind knows things more by contrast and comparison, and so realizes, also validly, your present situation by comparing it to when you were with this other person. So the loneliness, the loss, the change is also very real, and reoccurring.
For you are not yet capable of letting go continuously, to let the spiritual assurance of your completeness sustain you There is no way you can generate it, or hold onto it for—as We’ve talked about—it is bigger than you. You have to just keep letting go, for as you get back into activity, your mind takes over again, and once again you feel by way of contrast with what you once had, the fact you do not have it any longer.
Spirit is what unites and heals, but unfortunately it takes a while for your mind to simply wear itself out, and get tired of the contrast. You are gaining wisdom, My son, and keeping your spiritual touch with possibility, wisely taking out time to be still, reconnect with Us, and our Father, and rediscover your completeness.
Student. Part of it too is my deep concern for her, for she is sacrificing our relationship to take care of her children, and herself. She’s said she doesn’t have the energy or wherewithal to be in a relationship with me too—as it stands. Obviously I can be there for her in spirit…
Nebadonia. Well, give yourself credit for acknowledging and respecting her free will, however you may judge it to be correct or incorrect. For you could, as you certainly know of other examples, make it terrible for her by refusing to acknowledge her free will.
Student. No, I could not do that.
Nebadonia. This is also part of a enormous transformation going on in all the cultures of the world, this adjusting to the increase in individual freedom; especially in so many places, this ability of the women to determine their own lives.
Student. Just a question about free will. Is it free will if it is colored by past experiences, negative experiences, and lack, and fear? I don’t see that as being free will, if one is ignorant or blinded by negative, and in some cases, horrific experiences in their past. They’re just re-experiencing the same thing.
Nebadonia. This is true, and We’ve had many lessons on the need to bring so many things into consciousness in order to have a freewill choice.
But who is to determine this for another? (Yes, that’s so) This is why you need to acknowledge and respect each others’ free will. Even if it seems to be only a futile attempt, you can encourage another to be free, especially by letting them be free of you. This is spiritual generosity, especially between the sexes. But as you know, so many cultures in the world still refuse to grant their women this freedom. There is still an unimaginable amount of brutality being exercised almost automatically, without the slightest thought or reflection, along these lines.
This is, if you will, a kind of right intra-family terror that is simply the heritage of your long history of warfare. Michael, as Jesus, did more to liberate women than anyone else who has ever lived on Urantia. So by all means, My son, in all your relations with this lady you care so much about, do all you can to encourage her to know what she’s doing, and give her the benefit of the doubt whenever you can. (I will do that) I think you feel how it rebounds with good grace in your own soul.
Student. Yes. One final thought, in watching myself go through this, and these feelings I do feel, it’s interesting like how loneliness wants to initiate other relationships with a woman; but that’s not the platform or foundation I want to start from. Anyway, I wish to focus more on my relationship with my Father—our Father. As I open up to that, to who I am, then all else will follow. This spiritual fragrance will be experienced by others, and be drawn to me, as I am drawn to them—under the right, the healthy circumstances; not out of neediness or loneliness. So I thank You.
Nebadonia. You are welcome, My son. I concur heartily in all you’ve just said. It is so much better to come from this place of completeness, this deep, abiding feeling of Our, and our Father’s presence. For then too you really have something to offer another. This is part of that generosity of spirit We encourage. Be in My love.
(Letting go the illusions of certainty).
I salute your openness and courage, My sons, to realize what you’re in for, when you step out on the spiritual path. If it helps any, know that your Guardian Angels do rejoice when you let go the illusions of certainty and wholeheartedly accept the feeling of life living right through you. So persevere. You are also reaping the rewards of faith. Your lives are becoming more interesting, and fun, challenging, and lovely. This life you are living really is something, is it not?
You are beginning to get a little more light-hearted, beginning to see that God—yes, God himself does have a sense of humor—else we could not. Can you see the irony that needing to constantly let yourself go does lead to constantly rediscovering yourself anew? Keep in mind you are just starting off on an endless journey; so pace yourselves. Love those ideals, but strive to be real where you are. Michael sends you His peace, and I offer you My love. We both ask you most humbly to accept Our gifts. Good Evening.