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MJS5 – Special5 – Guiding Spiritual Growth

Special Session #5, March 5, 2010

Teacher: Monjoronson

Topics: Guiding the spiritual growth of children
Raising children with intention
Fertile peaks in childbearing and delay in childrearing
The challenging adolescent years
Parental Commitment and conscious intention in childrearing
The important roles of ritual and celebration in a child’s life
Celebrating the child’s first moral choice
Effective and ineffective discipline practices
Blended families
Culture, thinking and behavior imprinted on genes
Practical Spirituality 101

TR: Daniel Raphael

Moderator: Vicki Vanderheyden

March 5, 2010

Vicki: Dear Father, we meet again in this forum and we extend our hearts and minds in a circuit of divine energy, with the intention to do your will. We pray for your guidance and your gentle hand in directing us toward co-creative activities that are both timely and effective. May those who read these words also feel the love, passion and blessings we experience from your presence in our lives, and may it extend throughout their days so that they may apply with heartfelt joy the wisdom Monjoronson imparts to us. With these words, we are humbly grateful for Michael, Nebadonia, Monjoronson, the Most Highs, and all other unseen friends who serve you on our behalf. Amen

Vicki: Good morning, Monjoronson. The sun is shinning here, which is sometimes rare in this neck of the woods, and I am soaking up the rays as we talk together.

MONJORONSON: In our neck of the woods, the Son/sun always shines!

Vicki: Oh, how wonderful! Before we begin, do you have anything you would like to share with us?

MONJORONSON: Yes. It is a pleasure to see measurable growth in those who consistently read these materials, and who study them. And not only that, but who incorporate them into their being. They may not be conscious of this, but it is a tremendous difference; and even for those who read these occasionally, if their intention is to gain wisdom and to grow through this process, then they do and it is measurable. So I congratulate you all for growing, for coming into greater “oneness” with us and this work, and the presence of your Thought Adjuster within each of you. Thank you.

Vicki: Thank you, Monjoronson, and I would just like to take a moment to thank all of those people that are kind of “back stage” in this process, that don’t always receive publicly, the wonderful blessings that we do.

I’m going to begin with kind of an experiment today, and I hope this is amenable to the transmitting process. As I contemplate the content of your lessons, I see a vision unfolding, one that prescribes for us in simple terms, how to prepare our children spiritually. And I would like to share this with our readers, as a brief summary. This is not intended to replace or dilute the depth of your messages, which are so valuable to our understanding, nor is it to be considered as the complete picture, but instead to bring to the surface key points you have expounded upon. What I would like to do is read this short summary, paraphrased from your words, and then ask for your input. Is that alright?

MONJORONSON: Most certainly; let’s experiment.

Guiding the spiritual growth of children

Vicki: Okay. From your lessons, we learned that spiritual growth and development unfolds best through a gentle and continuous exposure to the presence of God, encompassed and applied in the fabric of our daily lives. You speak of one’s need to be accepted socially as equals, regardless of age or handicap. You caution us not to let children miss out on frequent interactions with other children, and also those early challenges that build strong character and self esteem. But you tell us to serve as guides for them through the process. You speak of both the negative and positive impacts that environmental influences and adult role models have on their development. This impact occurs as early as the moment of conception and continues on through their lives. You suggest that we raise children morally and ethically, as God knowing—not God fearing—and you suggest that we assist them in seeing themselves as sons and daughters of the living God, who has planned a future for them.

Now, having shared this, have I captured the main points here, or is there more you wish to add to my summary?

Raising children with intention

MONJORONSON: Only one thought, and that is that children be brought into the world, and then raised into adulthood with an intention. It is important that parents hold this intention in mind through the years of their child’s existence in their home. This intention may be written out on a plaque and placed in the child’s bedroom, or in the parent’s bedroom, where it is there to become aware of and not forgotten. Intention is important, and this is a personal and private enterprise between the parents and the child.

This is something they devise on their own, for the child. And when I say, “intention,” it is not for the child to become an accountant, or lawyer, or a company owner, or a being of that material nature, but I am speaking of the intention of raising the individual to become as I said earlier, to be God knowing, to become aware that he or she is a child of the living God, and they are living sons and daughters of that living God, and that their lives came into existence through intention, that there was commitment on the part of the parents to have this child, purposely and intentionally. Thank you.

Vicki: Thank you. What a wonderful idea! Now I’d like to move on to some additional questions that will hopefully extend the depth of our understanding, once again. I’d like to begin with a question left over from our last session. There seems to be a discrepancy between the time when many women are at their fertile peak to bear children, and when in our society they are mature enough to raise them. In addition, it appears that young men are also experiencing a maturity lag. Could you speak to this?

Fertile peaks in childbearing and delay in childrearing

MONJORONSON: Most definitely. The lag you speak of is a lag that is expressed in the development of a culture. As a culture becomes more educated, has a greater history to it, and greater experience in its existence and the individuals begin to invest themselves more in that culture, they as well unconsciously extend their early adulthood, the developmental time into the future before they become needing and wanting to be fathers and mothers, and to be a part of a family of their own.

This is very natural. You will see in lesser educated, less culturally developed and evolved cultures, that childhood, childrearing, comes into existence much earlier in their lives. Women are most fertile—and as are men—in their late teens and early twenties, but they are hardly more than grown children themselves. The advancement of age before consciously choosing to become fathers and mothers is an important aspect of childrearing, to do this consciously, to do it intentionally, to make a commitment to that child.

You will as well find that usually when individuals delay childrearing until their late twenties, early thirties, that they have fewer children, and that they invest more of themselves into that. If they see this as an intrusion, albeit one that they personally chose, into their personal lives and their careers, it is an important development of any culture and signals a change of the energetic environment of a culture. Thank you.

Vicki: Let me see if I understand this: Basically then, children come into this fertile peak early, when they are still under the influence of their parents, so that their parents can guide them. Is that correct?

MONJORONSON: That is correct. You see when and if individuals delay childrearing until their late twenties, early thirties, by the time their children come into early adolescence, they are already in the mid-time of their lives, so that they have greater wisdom and they too, are in this pivotal area. Parents, too, are growing, but they have the wisdom and experience to raise their children into becoming much more effective partners with society. Thank you.

Vicki: And that pivotal age is one that I think you should probably discuss. Adolescence—it certainly provides its challenges, for both the child and the parent, so I think I’ll direct my questions that I have there, next.

Though we are aware that challenges are a necessary ingredient for growth, I am still concerned with the amount of adverse, outside influences that impact our children and adolescents every day, and it is increasingly harder to shield or protect them from these influences. What do you recommend we do at this time?

The challenging adolescent years

MONJORONSON: Your question and this situation go hand-in-hand with your previous questions and my answers. It is important that when children are brought into existence by parents, that those parents have the time to rear them, and to be present with them, not on a sporadic basis, but continually so the child is raised in the home where there is the parent continuously, and that when the child goes to school, when they come home, there is the parent who is there to greet them and receive them, sit down and discuss the day and help them interpret their experiences.

Very few families do that today, and those that do are exceptional, and of course raise exceptional children, who become exceptional adults. It is important that the parent who receives the child from school be of such age themselves, as to be capable of aiding their child to reflect upon their experiences and then give them mature, wise, interpretations of those events, in the event the child does not do so well on their own, in their reporting.

Your cultural situation in this nation is truly not much different than it has been through the millennia where adolescents tend to get into mischief, as they experiment with the challenges of growing adulthood, whether that is bringing a “skunk” into the tribe’s area, or whether they are in the Internet, bringing pornography into their computer. Vigilance is a necessary duty of parents at all times, in all these environments. There are many more outside influences, however, which are detrimental to the evolving psyche of the child, so the parent must set boundaries and be available to enforce those boundaries for the child’s good, until the child can engrain those boundaries into their own thinking and adhere to them through their own wise choice-making.

Yes, your culture does have many powerful influences, they are extremely powerful, and many of them are extremely violent. This nation is most violent and it is abhorrent to the development of your culture. It will be seen as a stain upon this culture for centuries to come—something to be overcome. Thus childrearing is most important and that parents of good mature consciousness, with a commitment and intention to raise the child conscientiously, are present and able to do so.

For those who are materialistically invested, this may cause great compromise in the cars they drive, the houses they live in and the communities where the houses are. There is far too much money and obligation to support those material habits, to raise children effectively. Only those of great wealth can afford to have all these tremendous material assets, which need to be paid for, and raise children with one of the parents at home. Thus, those middleclass individuals who are the majority of your population, it is suggested that they pull back and withhold those material pleasures from themselves, so that one parent can be available to raise these children.

For those individuals who read this and are already greatly indebted to the material proclivities, this may be a difficult choice and one that is almost impossible; therefore, during those hours that a parent is available with the child, parents are urged to make every moment count by maintaining a conscious presence with the child. This is conscious parenting when there is deep quality time and transference of the family culture and values to the child. Thank you.

Vicki: Thank you. In our culture, when children reach an adolescent or young adult age, they are often resistant to spiritual guidance, and parents find it difficult to engage them in spiritual activity. I understand that some of this is part of our culture’s inability to provide a continuous spiritual growth throughout their childhood. Does it also have something to do with ages and stages of spiritual development that we experience as well?

Parental Commitment and conscious intention in childrearing

MONJORONSON: Not so much. Again, this culture is awfully busy; it is the busyness it has given itself [that] is far too high and occupies too much time. The time that parents took in the evenings to read bedtime stories, parables and morals to children while they were in preschool years is commendable, and there is no reason why this same commitment to time and tucking the children in bed with stories and wisdoms and later on meditations and prayers, could not and should not continue.

It is the choice of the parent to be distracted by other things, rather than their children. It is unfortunate that in this culture, children who go to school come home and have dinner and then every individual in the household goes their own way. This is not how a family is built; this is not how communities are built and maintained, so that they are morally and socially sustainable. Again, it is the parent’s responsibility to take the time to be with their children and to engage them.

It is much like teaching young children and adolescents martial arts—it requires time, patience, diligence, instruction and time to practice those skills. It is admirable to see children learning tae kwon do and karate, and the martial arts lend themselves to discipline of the mind and prayer and relationship to the divine as well. We see no loss of continuum in this learning process.

It is a matter of your culture being too busy and too distracted by individual needs, to spend time with their children. Parents are far too invested in their careers, and the obligations of their duties to their employment. Many other cultures—even western cultures—do not invest this kind of unreal amounts of time to their careers after hours, when they are with their families.

It begins with the conscious conception. It begins with the conscious intention of how to raise that child and that consciousness. That intention, that commitment does not end even after the child has left home, but then is given to the grandchildren who come home to visit. If you are going to be parents, then commit yourself and obligate yourselves to those duties. If you are going to be begrudging or resentful of the time necessary to raise children, then it is better that you ought not to have children. You can become a very deeply spiritually centered individual without having children, and it is your responsibility to raise those children that way, if you do choose to have them.

Vicki: Thank you. I have found that children learn from, and find comfort in ritual. You did touch upon a couple, but are there some other rituals you would suggest that we engage children in?

The important roles of ritual and celebration in a child’s life

MONJORONSON: Most definitely! Each child should have a—some cultures call it an altar—but they should have a sacred place in their bedroom or someplace that is theirs; it is a private space where they can go to be alone. Oftentimes, children have a need for space alone, away from parents and siblings and obligations of their own social networks, to be with themselves, and when they are with themselves, they can be with their Thought Adjuster.

This begins early on, even in infancy, where the child has time to play by themselves, to be with themselves. It is helpful if the adult, the parent, assist that child in interpreting that time alone, so that they can determine that this is a time to be with God, to be with their Creator and to be within the growing, spiritual presence within themselves.

Yes, rituals are extremely important; ceremonies lesser so. Rituals and preparation for those rituals are important. It is much like two little girls practicing having tea, where they have little teacups and saucers and milk and so on, and they practice having tea—whether they are English or Japanese, this is a preparation for adulthood. So, too, is time to be in meditation and prayer, time alone, time to recreate with the Creator; it is a preparation for adulthood.

You have far too little genuine celebration for accomplishment. Your sign of celebration, which we have received and congratulate you on, is the “high five.” It is a “Yes!” to some accomplishment. It is important to signalize, to create a spark of memory, around accomplishments, and this is also ceremony. And everyone knows that when your pet frog dies that everybody is solemn and you go out and bury the frog with due ceremony and ritual. So, too, must you celebrate when your pet gerbils have offspring, that this is a time of celebration.

When ducks fledge and swim, so too is this to be observed and appreciated. There are so many rituals and ceremonies that can be accomplished in childhood that train the individual to be in tune with special moments, and this is important. Those special moments can be daily, weekly, monthly, or on some special occurrence or event. Certainly everyone goes out for pizza and soda drinks after they have won the pennant of their Little League baseball games, or soccer, or hockey, or whatever.

There is the celebration of accomplishment, the attainment of goals. So, too, the goals of growing spirituality in a child is celebrated as well. I thank you for your question, and it is a pleasure to assist you in this way. It gives much greater meaning to childhood for individuals. Many of you look back at your childhood as being bereft of significance, of happy times, celebrations, accomplishments, and of the awareness of commitment by your parents. It is time to change that, so that all are aware of the obligations and commitments of everyone. Thank you.

Vicki: This is just tremendously practical advice. Wonderful! I think many people will benefit from this. We talked about the significance and variations in the practice of baptism, and I was going to ask if there are other practices that would be particularly relevant to children, but I’m wondering if in your reference to the fact that ceremonies are not as important as ritual, if you’ve already answered this question.

Celebrating the child’s first moral choice

MONJORONSON: I would add one factor, one important occasion when the child becomes of age to make their first moral choice. The first moral choice occurs when the child knows the right options for behavior and makes the right choice; or knows the right choice and chooses wrongly. The significance is that the child knows the difference when they make the decision and then acts on that decision. This usually occurs between four and six, and is the first appearance of coming of age and is an initiation into moral adulthood, because this is the age when the responsibilities of adulthood begin to emerge.

It is important that children be educated in this process, so that they are consciously aware of when those moments, those decisions, come into existence and know consciously that they are making the right decision, or consciously making the wrong decision. To allow children to remain in ignorance of that fact unfortunately supports the perpetuation of wrong decision-making. A responsibility of spiritually oriented parenting, of childrearing, is to help the child move out of ignorance and into awareness of the larger aspects of their evolving childhood. This takes nothing away from their childhood. This is a primary ceremony, a primary celebration to signalize the entering into the earliest phase of adulthood for the child. In this, they will always be reminded of this as they make conscious choices under the tutelage of their parents. Thank you.

Vicki: Much to think about; many good ideas. Now we come to the topic of discipline. I understand that there are factors to consider when disciplining children, such as age, maturity, one’s own unique personality, and the situation at the time. In general terms though, what do you consider as the most effective and also the most harmful practices of discipline.

Effective and ineffective discipline practices

MONJORONSON: The most effective practices of discipline with children are those disciplines which assist the child in making choices—ethical, social, moral choices. The most powerfully destructive are those which teach the child to be destructive, to be harmful, to see that power and force are the way of adulthood. This is most detrimental to the thinking of the individual, whether or not they act out this violence in their adulthood. Effective discipline leads the child into effective adulthood; effectively assists them in making good decisions.

Effective discipline is such that it is a point in time where the child becomes aware of having made a wrong choice. How the parent engages that practice of discipline is a matter of maturity on the part of the parent themselves. Parents who have raised more than one child know that oftentimes children come into life with a predisposed temperament which may be completely at odds with the family’s way of living, their values and their beliefs and their social behaviors.

That simply means that this child has come into existence as a young soul who is immature and needs a much firmer hand in the discipline, and the discipline of learning the helpful and supportive behaviors that will assist them in adulthood, getting along with their peers and their communities.

Some children seem to raise themselves and require little effort to guide them along the way. Discipline may be as simple as taking the child aside, sitting them in a chair, looking at them, holding their hands and helping them interpret what they had done, and assisting them in making right decisions. Too often, the child is belittled, may be punished physically, and may be embarrassed socially. These truly are harshly punitive and unnecessary. When children have privileges, it gives the parent a leverage to discipline the child by withholding those privileges.

At no time should privileges or any form of punishment be engaged without explaining thoroughly to the child what they have done, what was wrong about it and what is correct in the future. And, further, at no time should the parent engage in discipline when they are reacting to the child’s behavior. Emotional reaction by the parent is harmful, is detrimental and ingrains a model for discipline of the child in the future, when they have their own children, which is detrimental then to the grandchildren.

Concerning the perpetuation of irrational and unproductive disciplines—it is important that they cease; it is important that new practices of discipline begin. It may require that the parents learn from a parenting coach, or from a child psychologist, or grandparents or other parents who have effectively raised children. Professionals who have not raised children usually are only academic pros, professionals at giving advice, rather than having known how to use that advice in their own family environment.

You will see that discipline is…when you think of disciplining children, you think of giving instruction, you think of giving children a punitive time out or some withholding of privileges, and so on. True discipline leads to a way of thinking, a way of engaging your environment and your world in a productive manner. Self-discipline is a way of living life, and knowing the rules and when to bend them and when not to.

When rules sometimes absolutely do not work, then you may have to throw them out. Self-discipline and a disciplined life lead to a life of order, a life of practice, and not to the extent of being obsessive or compulsive, but to have the freedom to know when you to bend those rules, and when not to; and, know when your daily procedures of self-discipline work best, and when it is time to relax and let them go for a while. Thank you.

Vicki: Monjoronson, I’m going to move on to a discussion on the blended family. First, I want to mention the fact that I am a part of a blended family, both in religious terms, and racial terms. My husband and I created a blended family. I’m going to start with this question: As future events unfold, causing disruption to families, similar to what we’ve seen in Haiti, Chile, and maybe some other events that are soon to come, we can expect the possibility that there will be more orphans, and that there will be more racially blended families. Am I correct?

MONJORONSON: That is correct.

Vickie: I’m guessing that this will have both a positive and a negative impact. Could you speak to this?

Blended families

MONJORONSON: Most certainly. On most inhabited planets that are not decimal planets, or experimental planets, as earth or Urantia, there is the time where the races of men are blended with the races of spirit. Your world has not had that benefit to any great degree, to be of great influence today. Your world struggles with blended families of various religions. You can have two or three religions being practiced in one family. You can have individuals who are Caucasian, American Indian, East Indian, African, and Chinese that are in the same family.

For your world and your families, this may or may not be any difficulty. It most generally occurs that when you have a multiple blended family, racially; someone has made a conscious choice to bring those children into that family. There is receptivity to it. It is important for this world, as it moves ahead, to have the removal of stigmatism, prejudice, bias, and bigotry against racial aspects of your world. This is a fact of your world; there are races that are very distinct, and it is important that this outward appearance not have any effect upon your estimation of an individual’s worth.

It is remarkable, however, that you may have a single race family, where each individual exhibits far, far greater difference of temperament and social maturity and spiritual evolution, than a blended family, but you accept each other as the same, because you are of the same skin color.

In many ways, considering the ascendant journey that you will experience in your infinite ascension to Paradise, in the many lifetimes that you will experience along the way, and all the hundreds of different planets upon which you will live and be educated, you will come into contact with not only one or two dozen races, but literally hundreds of different races of incredibly different individuals.

As you come into contact with them, even on the morontial realm, you will have capacity when you meet them, to view their history in their auric field, their “record,” so to speak. You will see whether they were of a very different body shape or style/type, or metabolism, height or weight, or dimensions. Most all are bilateral in nature, and this is the unifying factor of all of you. You have on this planet, the opportunity to overcome shock and amazement at seeing and having conversations with individuals who are so diversely different than you are, visually.

Yet, and because of this, you have the opportunity to appreciate those differences, and secondly, to look within to see who the person really is. Remember, this is just a “costume” you are wearing; you are all brothers and sisters of the soul within, and this is the genuine self who you really are in the infinity of time. So see this as an opportunity to develop your spiritual growth in different ways.

As for the practicality of adopting children from other races, from other cultures, from other nations, other ethnic groups, be aware that you will be required to have great patience. You should examine your own personal maturity before you do this, as you want to be the best influence to these children, rather than giving them the lesser dimensions of your behavior, of your personality. Thank you.

Vicki: Yes, in having experienced that and having an adopted foreign-born son racially diverse from my husband and I, there are challenges, and [with] these challenges, we found there were others that extended beyond race. They included developmental adjustments that the child had to make to a new culture, and also recovery from some very early harmful experiences. Do you have anything else to add to that?

MONJORONSON: No, you have spoken well.

Vicki: This is a curiosity question—I’m not even sure if you might have answered it, in talking about past discussions of genetics—I’ll give this a try: As parents of an adopted and racially diverse foreign-born son, who joined our family in early infancy, we observed some cultural propensities, not typical of the culture we raised him in, but more typical of his ancestral culture. Some say that the cultural practices and orientations of our early ancestors, is deeply ingrained, and indeed stored in our DNA. Is this a valid assumption?


Vickie: Okay, then my next question takes a spiritual turn here: Does our ancestral DNA then affect our leaning toward certain spiritual practices and beliefs, regardless of environmental influences?


Vickie: Can you speak to that more?

Culture, thinking and behavior imprinted on genes

MONJORONSON: Certainly. I have spoken to you before about the imprinting process of behaviors and cultures and thinking, upon your gene structure. What your genetic scientists have not discovered, and perhaps will not discover for quite some time, is the encoding process, where it is encoded, how it is retained, and how it is expressed later in the progeny of those who have learned new behaviors. Yes, the powerful influences of your culture, of your thinking, of your behavior, do imprint on your gene structure, and are transferred to others even after the birth of your children.

It is a remarkable process that few will discover, or understand thoroughly for decades, if not for centuries, as this is one of the mysteries of life. Just as no one of your scientists will ever discover how the spark of life initiates life and imprints itself upon that growing embryo, they will have as much difficulty understanding the imprinting process, upon the gene structure of individuals and its transference.

It is both individual, and it is cultural, and it is racial—racial meaning, I should rather say, “species specific”—that the species of humankind holds an energetic cosmic mind, cosmic consciousness, planetary consciousness, that affects all those who enter into this energetic realm. Were your children raised on the moon, they would still have ties to the earth, earth’s population and the mass of humankind’s consciousness, simply because they are of that kind. So it is that your adopted children from another race often begin to exhibit practices which their parents or grandparents—or someone else—earlier in their heritage had practiced.

They will have interests that tend to move them towards areas of the past. These may express soon, or they may express later in life. Sometimes these racial memories do not come into expression and awareness in the individual until later in life, in the 30’s and 40’s, when there is time to reflect and to have the consciousness that they are different, and they begin to measure how they are different, and of course this ignites a chain of memories, or a chain of thoughts that reflect their earlier ancestry.

This is a fascinating area of the Life Carriers; it is part of their own discipline for bringing into existence the survival capacity of a species of individuals on a planet. It is important for the survival of that species, that they be able to transfer the wisdom of the races forward. Consciously engaging this process, knowing that you are making a difference in this and future generations, is perhaps one of the most conscientious aspects that you can have as a participant of a race of mortal beings, who have Thought Adjusters. This is the greatest service one can provide to their world, and to future generations. Thank you.

Vicki: I think that concludes our session. I would really like to thank you, Monjoronson, for this session. It has been one of my favorites. I lean towards the sessions that give us practical advice and help us now, in our co-creative efforts. You have provided a wealth of knowledge here today, and I truly appreciate it.

Practical Spirituality 101

MONJORONSON: You are most welcome. You have among you, several Melchizedeks, who are morontial world teachers, and they would call this, “Practical Spirituality 101.” It is a conscious engagement of living life as a spiritual being on a material world, and this is a continuum that does not end. It is simply a matter of knowing that you are not separated from your Creator, you are not separated from individuals, either by life or death, by culture or planet of origin. Thank you.

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