2000-08-27. Compassion
Nashville #93
Topic: Compassion
Group: Nashville TeaM
Teacher: Ham
TR: Rebecca
Opening
Ham: Greetings, children, I am Ham and I am happy that you have come here this evening. Our lesson tonight is about compassion for one’s fellows.
Lesson
Compassion, Barriers
Compassion is a tenderness of heart, it is a willingness to be emotionally touched by another, a willingness to extend one’s emotional self toward another and receive emotion in return. Becoming increasingly compassionate, therefore, entails a progressive becoming fearless of one’s own emotions. If you are afraid of feeling your own emotional state, you will be afraid of feeling another’s.
Becoming tenderhearted is a process and is not probably ever completed during your life. When one has true emotional fearlessness and tender-heartedness toward others combined with a willingness to be led by the Father, then can true self-forgetfulness and service begin.
Let us discuss emotional fearlessness. Many people have internal walls which prevent the feeling of certain emotions, usually because these emotions are involved with a certain memory or group of memories. Unblocking these walls and experiencing these emotions, or even shades of emotion, always involves some memory work, some reliving of the past. There are times when you simply cannot go through those blocks and that’s fine, it is not required that you do this in a day or a month or a year. It is a process, and even recognizing that the blocks are there is a tremendous first step.
Oftentimes one’s analytic side, one’s intellectual side acts as a block to prevent you from seeing the other person’s point of view. Often, rather than feeling empathy and compassion, you decide instead to analyze their position and give them your intellectual break down of it. This is like a defense mechanism on your part. So, when you see the other person as your self, you empathize with them and understand them without having to build a new wall of psychological analysis.
If you can feel what they feel for a moment, as scary as it is, then you can draw from the spirit to find words rather than developing your own words intellectually, you are then more of a conduit for the love of God. God’s love seeks always to bridge the fear that separates people.
Usually, when you see something in someone which causes that intellectual analysis, it is so that you can prevent yourself from empathizing and being in that person’s shoes because you would be admitting that you had that within yourself. So the walls have to come down within you first before you can really be fearless in identifying with everyone.
Identifying with everyone is a frightening prospect because out there in the world are all the facets that you hold within which are manifest in others and draw your attention. Sometimes the things about yourself which are uncomfortable for you are those things which draw your attention in others. So often the very things which we condemn others for are the things we ourselves are the most guilty of. The Master said, be careful to remove the beam which is in your own eye so that you can clearly see the mote in another’s eye.
It is helpful to remember that life is not so much a struggle to win as it is a learning process which never ends. Once you release the pressure on yourselves that is involved in being successful in the eyes of the world, you can better relax and enjoy the process of learning those things which the Father wishes you to learn and therefore growing in the ways the Father wishes you to grow.
Sometimes we avoid introspection because during the struggle of life, of everyday work, there is a little fear that something might jump out of those dark places and trip you up and expose all of that to the rest of the world. So you try not to think about it or look at it or accept that you have anything which might be construed as being negative. The negativity is your own judgment, you are passing judgment on a part of yourself and I ask you is that wise? Not it is not. All that you are, all the imperfection, all the sides which are less than perfect, are part of everyone and it’s all there to be integrated and exalted.
Most of the things you think of as faults are not necessarily so. As you judge others, you show evidence that you have judged yourself. Therefore, be fearless of your emotions, let them come. Be fearless of your memories, let them also come and grow then in your ability to love other people because you have grown in your ability to love yourself. Be understanding and compassionate with your own inner life and you will be better able to be compassionate with others.
What are your questions.
Dialogue
Pain
Q: It seems like so much of that and so much of life is the reluctance to feel pain and to avoid pain at all cost, experience pain.
Ham: This is true, and yet a little pain in the experiencing, which is passing, creates a new place of love and stability and good feeling. You who have grown in the spirit know that all growth entails some little measure of pain, even disillusionment and that let down when you discover that you are not perfect, or at least weren’t as perfect as you thought you were. But, the road to the Father is one of truth and there can be no illusion brought into that road. So, when you begin to think of yourself as a little above others, a little exempt from their lessons, usually you are about to enter a lesson.
Emotion
Q: Is the problem of experiencing emotions one where people are blocked from experiencing certain emotions or they don’t respond to certain situations with appropriate emotions?
Ham: Yes, it is both because often when one is unable to experience that feeling of empathy or understanding which free emotional intercourse would allow, one substitutes another emotion. This happens all the time in subtle ways that you perhaps are not even aware of. Is this helping?
Q: So if I consistently misread someone’s emotion is that a sign that I am blocking an emotion myself.
Ham: It could be.
Q: On the other side you talking about putting up blockages that we don’t experience certain emotions, is it possible that we judge ourselves so harshly that we block in emotions that we cannot empathize with other people.
Ham: Yes, you have understood the lesson, correct.
Q: Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing, when someone triggers me when they annoy me, I analyze whether it is something in me or do they just annoy me. I have a hard time finding a balance between these two. Or, maybe I am not being compassionate.
Ham: When someone annoys you, there is a resistance to compassion, yes. There is a resistance to identification and then the question is why, why is that resistance there and that as they say is the crux of the problem.
Super-consciousness
Q: What part of the mind makes the choice as to what information is allowed to pass from the unconscious mind into the conscious mind.
Ham: It is actually the spirit because this higher level of conscious awareness constantly sorts and guides your thinking toward the more spiritual and one of its tools is to bring the conscious and the unconscious together at times.
Q: So this is an activity of the super-consciousness,.
Ham: Yes, if the unconscious were always conscious you could not function, it has to be sorted and sifted as also external information is. External information is also categorized and prioritized so that you can make sense of the world. If everything was coming in with the same intensity and level of meaning, you could not function.
Q: It took me several years to figure out how to ask that question.
Compassion
Q: What is the most compassionate thing to do when someone manipulates your compassion, when they try to make you feel sorry for them but are not completely honest and just expect you to be compassionate towards them?
Ham: Yes, extending empathy and compassion towards someone does not require an act. You can empathize and be understanding without being involved in trying to create a solution for some problem. Being compassionate and doing something out of compassion are two different things. When you extend yourself to another, you are vulnerable emotionally and, yes, there are those who manipulate the vulnerability of others for some end. The Master said, be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. Being gentle and loving does not require being taken advantage of, do you see the difference.
Q: Yes.
Q: I understand the concept of having compassion you need to have it for yourself, in my case I sometimes have been taught to doubt even my right to exist. In spite of this, I feel genuine compassion for others.
Ham: I would say you are beginning to heal. You have been through a process of inner healing and this great suffering that you have experienced now makes the suffering of others palpable or real to you so that you can identify with someone else’s suffering. That perhaps is a definition of compassion. Is this helping?
Animals
Q: One area in my life I feel it easy to feel compassion is with animals. I wonder if sometimes I am driving myself crazy with laboratory experiments how animals are being slaughtered. Sometimes it keeps me up at night. Am I being compassionate or am I just driving myself crazy with this?
Ham: Well, my dear, when one focuses very intensely on the suffering of some other, like a group or a group of animals, or something like that, sometimes it’s a substitution. You think of yourself as being very strong, very self-sufficient and your focusing on the weakness of others and helping that weakness, rather than admitting your own weakness and admitting the helplessness concerning that. Animals are defenseless, they are weak, they are helpless in the hands of heartless uncaring individuals, ask yourself what are you substituting that for that is within you?
Q: If I can answer this, maybe it angers me and hurts me deeply that there are humans that could be so compassionless, and maybe it’s about the way I was treated by people over the years. Is there any concern among the celestials about the way animals are being treated on this planet or in the grand scheme of things does it not matter much?
Ham: Yes, of course it matters. The treatment of the helpless and the dependent is always of concern to the Father. Animals are a manifestation of God. When one suffers, the Father feels it. Did not the Master say that not a sparrow falls from the sky without my Father’s knowledge. Of course, all of his creation is loved by him. As humans grow toward him, then their love for his creation will grow as well and compassion for the helpless will increase.
Personal Counsel
Q: Ham, do you have a personal message for John tonight?
Ham: Of course. Son, you have begun the process of inner opening and it is painful and joyful all at once. Grow in your tenderheartedness, grow in your capacity to love. You do well.
Q: Ham do you have a personal message for me tonight?
Ham: Certainly, my dear. You have grown much since we last spoke. You are now much more able to handle the ups and downs and stresses of life. You are much more gentle of spirit and more inwardly aware of your inner life. You have begun to truly live the life of the spirit and you understand that moral value, spiritual value, is something intrinsic and that you cannot always reduce those things into intellectual constructs. Your were living much more in the mind a few years ago and now you are living more from the heart. You do very well and I am glad once more to greet you.
Q: Ham, do you have a message for me this week.
Ham: Certainly, my daughter you are a person who lives with great gusto for life in its wholeness. You are able to take the extremes of life with equanimity and some measure of wisdom, even though sometimes patience is a bit lacking. Life has dealt you many blows and you have recovered each time and become stronger as a result. You are an honest seeker who does not suffer fools gladly. You speak your truth. Continue to grow in your awareness of love and how it is manifest all around you, not just from a source here or a source there, but everywhere. One day you will see this more clearly.
Q: I will be leaving the country again this week, I wondered if at this time I am ready for a private session with you?
Ham: Of course you can have a session. What is a convenient time for you.
Q: Do you have anything for me Ham?
Ham: Of course. Daughter, you have also come far and are experiencing a number of new changes in your thinking which you had earlier resisted. Make the connection between your mind and your soul through your heart. The center of the soul is roughly around the heart area. So, humans experience emotion and love through that same area. Follow the path of increasing love and you will be always OK. Is this clear to your understanding.
Q: Yes, I have one other question about my eyes, about the blindness I am experiencing. Is there anything I can do about it, is there any information you can give. They don’t know much about it down here.
Ham: Are your symptoms blurriness or spots or tunnels. I have macular degenerative disease and it destroys the center of my vision. I am legally blind in one eye and would like to keep my other. What can I do.
Ham: Sometimes this can be exacerbated by a mineral imbalance, especially zinc. Try supplementing your diet with zinc and perhaps a colloidal mineral mixture, not just one mineral but many. Try this and see if there is any improvement.
Q: Ham, do you have a personal message for me tonight?
Ham: Yes, of course. Son, you have grown in many ways over the last few years and have accepted what has been given you with grace and calmness. This ability to relax is beginning to increase and I would recommend that you continue to develop this. True relaxation is a little bit hard for you. There is a little bit of a fear of losing control in the mind. So, keep practicing stillness and developing your ability to really relax and let go.
Q: If I could add one more thing, if you have any insight into this thing I have going on with my skin, do you have anything you can tell me about that?
Ham: Give me a little bit more specific symptoms.
Q: It’s kind of like discoloration in spots.
Ham: Like a rash or an itch.
Q: Sometimes there is a rash or an itch. But it is mostly a discoloration not unlike vitiligo.
Ham: Is this exacerbated by sun exposure?
Ham: Has it suddenly got worse?
Q: It seems to have, but I have had it for a year and a half.
Ham: It’s probably a minor fungal infection or even sometimes bacteria can get beneath the skin in that way. Just simple alcohol applied to the skin outside 4 times a day should begin to alleviate it. If it continues or gets worse, you may have to try antibiotics.
Q: Recently came in contact with someone who had similar symptoms, could it be a case of candida or yeast, too much in the diet?
Ham: Yes, this could be. Let’s take it one step at a time.
Challenge
Q: Ham, I have another health question. I have MS and I worry a lot about my health and the future and my ability to walk. I think that sometimes it can hinder my ability to be compassionate. I wonder if you could speak about that please.
Ham: Certainly. I wish I could give you an easy cure for this. There are some things that may help your symptoms. Eating citrus fruits, even processed orange juice, grapefruit, things like this three times a day and getting sunshine, vitamins C and D tend to help the health of your nervous system and it is best to get both of these things naturally also with the acid in the citrus can help as well. The main thing is not to simply give up, but keep trying things that help you. And also, look at it as a great wealth of learning. Your learning more about yourself and your being tested so intensely that you spirit can really grow much faster than others who aren’t experiencing this kind of intense testing. Think of it not as a curse, but begin to look at it as a gift.
The Father gave me this test for a huge reason, one that lies in the future, one that you cannot see yet, but I see. Not everyone is given something so challenging and saying this I know that you are a person who is up to the challenge. You are not one to give in to self pity and withdraw from life, you are one that takes the challenge of it and takes the bit in your teeth and runs. Whatever it is that you lose in this life, you are given that a hundred times more in the next. So, those who have made a sacrifice of comfort, of physical well being, these kinds of things, grow so much through the experience that you can almost bring the next world into this one.
Q: Yes, do you have a message for me this evening?
Ham: Certainly, you have also been through many trials and some pretty serious hardships. You must not allow yourself to become kind of secretly discouraged with life, you are always very open and available with others so be careful to keep that complete and not to reserve a place of secret despair. Allow yourself your vulnerability and don’t always try to pretend you don’t have it. Be always complete, without any dishonesty or ways to kid yourself about how you feel. In other words, own all of your feelings. Everything is OK, and this little crisis period will pass and everything will be fine. Have faith and trust in your Father, trust in his love.
Q: Would 10:00 on Thursday be a good time for me?
Ham: Very good.
Q: Do you have anything for Esmirelda?
Ham: We have had a lot of questions this evening, the out of town questions we will roll over to next week. But, I will answer your message.
Jarad, you are making strong consistent progress and are not much more balanced than ever before. You are growing strongly in the spirit and your light is shining very well. I have no specific instruction, for you are doing better than expected at this time. Be at peace my son. Rebecca, you also are doing well. You have a tendency to put others’ needs before your own and then resent it and blame those other people. This is getting better as you take responsibility for your own needs. Continue to do this and your life will be more balanced.
Q: Ham, do you have any input for me this week please?
Ham: Yes, of course. Your coming through a also a time of some testing and are feeling more grounded and more stable. There have been many times when this kind of testing would have thrown you into an unstable period. But, you see you are still very balanced, grounded, and focused. This is the fruit of your spiritual growth. Be glad that you can see such tangible evidence and give thanks to the Father every day.
Q: Ham do you have any feedback for me this week.
Ham: Of course. Yes, you have also made good progress. This trip showed you the progress you have made. You are now much more balanced and even tempered, more open to joy and experience. It is good to have time to just be. It is a time of enrichment, even though it is not a time of action. Cultivate these periods of just being. You do very well.
Closing
Once again my prayers and my love are with you all. Farewell.
