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PBG69- Looking Back at Life, Ahead to Death

1998-11-12-Looking Back at Life, Ahead to Death
Pittsburgh #69


• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Looking Back at Life, Ahead to Death
o 1.2 Group: Pittsburgh TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Tomas, Merium
o 2.2 TR: Gerdean
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Opening
o 3.2 Lesson
 3.2.1 Experience
o 3.3 Dialogue
 3.3.1 Euthanasia
o 3.4 Closing

Topic: Looking Back at Life, Ahead to Death
Group: Pittsburgh TeaM
Teacher: Tomas, Merium
TR: Gerdean


MERIUM: This is Merium.

GROUP: Oh! Hello, Merium. Great!

MERIUM: I am being ushered in to engage you in a moment of focused attention so that we can assign you a lesson and in order for this lesson to fall upon fertile soil, that you will be receptive and that we may be effective, I would like to take my babies in hand, hold your hands, hold you on my lap, hold you to my breast, nurture you with the love of the Divine Minister, as we approach our Father/Brother Michael, Blessed be these children. Blessed be our offspring, Father, who have come to you for guidance and instruction, who look to you for wisdom and administrative abilities, who seek your counsel in all these affairs of their developing young lives.

They come to you, Michael, in hopes of understanding their purpose, in appreciating their design, so that they may work and play in accordance with the will of our divine Father and that they may be pleasing to your eyes and to the eyes of our Divine Minister.

I am always in awe of you, Michael and Nebadonia, for your wonders and for the opportunity to serve in your kingdom and to work with, play with and form with these children of Urantia. Lead us now, Father/Brother Michael, into the presence of our Father in heaven that we may know a moment of blessing and His sanction in this day in the life. Amen.

GROUP: Amen. (A long moment)

TOMAS: Good evening, my little ones. I am Tomas, your friend.

GROUP: Good evening, Tomas.

TOMAS: It is good to be here and I am very glad for the association of each of you. I and we have very much appreciated your in depth and sincere sharing this evening, even though it extends your schedule, perhaps, beyond your desired constraints, it nonetheless gives us a look into your hearts and souls which reflects to you also a facet of your reality which you have been thus willing to share with your friends, giving yourself then permission to assimilate greater understanding of your experience. Thus we all gain wisdom! You, for the experience itself; the ones you love and share with, because of their empathetic appreciation of your experience; and we also benefit by knowing how it is that you respond to the vicissitudes of human life. Were there no difficulties to overcome and no experiences to trip over, wisdom would not be forthcoming and you would not deepen in your ability to know God and be like him.


TOMAS:  In your lesson this evening, my friends, you read about a transport — the transport initially between this life and the morontia realms, and later, again, you will be engaged in a long sleep between the local universe and the superuniverse, most particularly the final sleep from the superuniverse into Havona. These passages are in a way graduations, and I would like to introduce you to the emotion, the sense of accomplishment in your passages that will enable you to understand your experiences and your wisdom now, having had those experiences.

We have spoken to you before; it is in your text — you are encouraged to stop every now and again and look back upon your journey to see how far you have come in order to gain perspective on where you are today and where you hope to be in the future. It is encouraged also that when you are having a “dark night of the soul” or a “hard day’s night” you look back upon moments of a precious friendship with a heartfelt appreciation of the value of the love that you once shared in order to give you strength.

Now, flock, this evening in your sharing, it could be understood, your sharing. It could be construed that when you look back — at this point in your growth — you do not find the reflection to bring about in you a sense of joy and satisfaction. The duly honored sense of nostalgia that can be known from looking back is not there in many cases. Instead what we find are regrets and recriminations, bitterness, sadness, a sense of defeat or a sense of futility that your ideals cannot be met and so why try to attain them. These attitudes are toxic to your spirit. They are humanly understandable. They are emotionally resultant from the mental approach to your life experience, but from a backward vantage point.

We would introduce to you this evening the concept of a different vantage point, one which will allow you to look back upon your experiences in the sunlight of the spirit rather than in the shadow. I will remind you, too, that it is in adversity that you gain wisdom, and so, rather than complain that you have known adversity, appreciate the adversity that you have known. Assign to yourself an understanding of the strength that you have garnered from that experience. This is not an easy assignment. You are asked to look at your experiential history, or segments thereof, and allow the dark cloud to have a silver lining.

In most of your lives, as a built in defense mechanism and a survival technique, you do this automatically. You are very defensive of your tender emotions and so you will stick out there your armor of justification and defense of your tender feelings. “Oh, no!” you say, “I’m not tender about that!” But in truth you are. It is not to say that you are wounded; it is to say that you have experienced something FEELINGLY and it is necessary in your spiritual development that you know these things FEELINGLY.

Therefore, the fact that you have seen dissolution of matrimony, you have seen children suffering the effects of broken homes, that you have seen the death of a loved one or the loss of an institution that you have known, career failures or severe culture shock — all of these traumas that flesh is heir to are not for naught. They are in the ideal sense, opportunities to learn great strength in order then to sustain yourself in life’s experiences, to assist others in their growth through their transitions into wisdom, and to provide you with a true chapter book of true heartfelt journeys into which you can happily go in full appreciation of the entire experience — the potential and the actual; the happy and the sad; the good and the seeming bad; for in the end, our Divine Mother will align these experiences in order that they be a part of your greater reality and in your aligning yourself with the Father who will use these to the greater good.

As you have mentioned in your mota: the act is ours; the consequences God’s” and so, do not regret your human experiences, but willingly offer them up as a sacrifice to the Father and say, “Father, I offer these experiences to you on the altar of learning, that I may be a more joyous child and servant in your kingdom.” Are there questions this evening?


LIANA: I have a question.

TOMAS: Liana.


LIANA: Yes. It’s an ethical question. Last weekend I was visiting my husband’s aunt in a nursing home and the woman that she shares the bedroom with is in bad shape. She has a lot of bedsores and she’s not cognizant and . .. that whole thing always bother me. I think to myself, are we — is this a humane thing to do? I mean, to leave . .. to let people just die in that particular manner? And I can’t come to terms with that and I think I need a thought adjustment on that. It seems to me it would be so much more pleasant just to give them an injection or something. I mean, is there a reason why she has to hang around like that, in that kind of a situation?

TOMAS: You compassion speaks to me across the chasm between our worlds, daughter, and I am aware of my limitation in terms of setting precedence for you as you are administrators of your own realm and this is a battle which you will need to evolve to, this and many others, but it is certainly not humane to allow a body to suffer under these circumstances. No, and of course not.

I am not in a position to face the administrators of your institutions, your governments, your hospitals and so forth and call to their attention the inconsistencies and ambiguities of policy. In due course you will, as a race of people and as a society, instill in your fellows an awareness of the greater realities such that all of humanity will in due course fall in line with the Most Highs, however this is an evolutionary matter and one in which you are encouraged to become involved. It is a process of education. If they had a greater understanding of the spirit, they would know what they were dealing with. You would not allow a dog to suffer thus . …

LIANA: Right! That’s my feeling.

TOMAS: … and when the spirit is no longer capable of effecting changes in the mind of the mortal of its indwelling, as long as no decisions of lasting import can be made, then the living carcass is essentially finished, has served its purpose, and is eager now to rest in peace, for the soul has been developed, has been created, has been born. It is true that many times these decisions are only made towards the latter part of a mortal life, but these “deathbed decisions” are really much more a matter of theatrics than realities. Not only is it cruel in the case of this patient you mentioned, but it is severely cruel to those who have cared for this person during their life and for those who must witness the throes of the human animal in its advanced state.

Now, in time also, my dears, death will take on a new aura. In time your transition from this world to the next will be more natural and more elevated, but as of yet you are still rather primitive as is evidenced by the way many of your institutions allow themselves to carry on with the letter of the law but not the spirit of it.

LIANA: Thank you.

TOMAS: You are correct, Liana, that it is an ethical question, and ethics are a matter of awareness based on God-consciousness. Ethics are a result of a personal life with God, a living understanding and appreciation of what is — not right in the moral sense or the conscience sense, but — in the true sense of the word.

ELYSSIA: Well, the problem there is that the woman needs better care! It’s not that she could be — her life could be terminated, in my way of thinking, as much as the question is that the care isn’t what it should be. Isn’t that correct? Isn’t that what you’re saying, dear?

LIANA: Well, the care is not correct, but it . ..

ELYSSIA: Bedsores and everything.

LEAH: That happens.

LIANA: That happens, if you have no movement on your own. You know, if you’re not talking to anybody and you’re not able to move your own body, and you’re not able to feed yourself and you develop those huge sores that need to be dressed and are very painful, I just — I don’t understand. It’s the quality of life. Personally I would not want to live like that, and if that were somebody I loved, I wouldn’t want to have to see that, and so I just wonder, what’s wrong with us that we — is that immoral? I guess that’s really my question. Is that immoral, to help somebody die like that? I mean, it seems that that is what our moral question is as human beings when there are these people in these situations, is that we don’t have the right to take another person’s life.

TOMAS: We have discussed this, Liana,…

LIANA: Oh, you have?

TOMAS: … in our sessions before, yes, and it gives rise, if I speak frankly, then for you to quote, “Oh, Tomas said….!” and this is not the issue. It doesn’t matter what I say, you see. What matters is that you evolve to a point of managing your affairs and as mature adults of the realm and a mature adult of the realm is one who is aware of what life is, where life comes from, and where life is going. It is necessary for you, again, and still, to become more vigilant in your spiritual efforts. Only as people are enlightened as to the living reality, the immortal soul, the elimination of the fear of death, will these superstitions and anxieties be eliminated from your value system.

It is still very primitive here. Your unwillingness to let go is so apparent in so many aspects of your life. Just like I mentioned in my lesson this evening, you cannot let go of your life experiences. You continue holding on to them even though they are enshrouded in bitterness and regret. You must begin to see life from a positive vantage point. You are accustomed to seeing the Spirit of Truth operate as white spots on a black background, and you must begin to see the white background with black spots, and when you see a black spot, rub it out through prayer and enlightenment — fearlessly. They I will be able to say, “Look! Liana says . …” (group chuckle)

ELYSSIA: Tomas, I beg your pardon for bringing this up again. I’m sure I have said it before, but I just feel that it’s apropos for me to cough it up again, which was that Jane Roberts was bringing in Seth and it’s the only thing I ever read in any of those books, not that I read much in any of them, but that I responded to. She said that if some of these elderly people seem to be almost unconscious, they are being taught on a deep level. Well, I don’t know if that’s true, but it seems that some of my family hooked up to that idea pretty strongly, and they thought it sounded true to them.

TOMAS: Yes, Elyssia, it is true up to a certain point and it is not just the elderly that this happens to. As you life develops and you go through various passages, you are then prepared and readied for the next phase of your existence. Your culture is very youth-oriented and very fearful of death, and therefore you keep putting off many things which are a natural part of your evolution in order that you begin to depend upon the spirit more, rely upon the morontia realities more, and lessen your dependency on your physicality and your more literal aspects. It is not a matter of waiting until you are elderly and unable to do anything else.

THERESA: Then are you saying that it’s up to that individual to stop their own suffering by turning — by letting themselves go to God rather than it’s up to us to assist them in suicide? Is it because they have never learned to trust completely in God and don’t want to let go?

TOMAS: I did not say this, Theresa. However, it is an interesting discourse you introduce. No, one cannot say that someone who is “on their deathbed” is responsible for whether or not they leave or stay. I am, however, saying that it is the responsibility of each of you to be aware of your existence as a mortal in your tabernacle of flesh as well as being aware of that which resides within you which is not dependent on your life in the flesh. The entire subject of euthanasia is essentially something that is separate from our discussion at hand, although it would naturally lead to a greater understanding of euthanasia which is again something we have discussed before.

ELYSSIA: Well if the Thought Adjuster leaves, after the mind becomes abnormal, because of the aging process, if the Thought Adjuster leaves, there is no governing energy to end the life of this human carcass, in a sense, so is it possible that we could program ourselves to move along with a lot of faith to try to avoid fear so that when we finally lapse into unconsciousness we will have already made the decision to go.

TOMAS: You have been making your decisions all along.

ELYSSIA: Well that is what I was wondering.

TOMAS: It is very unfortunate for those who do wait until the last minute, for they fight death so terribly, they have not investigated their true reality. It makes life much more difficult for them, for their families, and for the thought adjuster itself.

ELYSSIA: My daughter’s mother-in-law says she fears death extremely. Now, she’s been brought up as a very devout Roman Catholic, and I can’t help but think that there must be some kind of fear that was pounded into her little head . ..
HESTER: It was. ELYSSIA: … for her to have this extreme fear.

TOMAS: Remember, in Christianity a great emphasis is placed upon the wrath of God and divine judgment, and overly conscientious individuals who feel they have not met up with their own standards of spiritual behavior, are going to feel unworthy under that theology. It is perhaps your responsibility to encourage them to embrace a loving God.

HESTER: Well, Tomas, I went to the Catholic school for three years when I was in the 4th, 5th and 6th grades, and they taught us exactly what they’re saying here, and put fear and hurt and pain in us, and it took a long time to outgrow it.

TOMAS: When I gave you my lesson this evening about looking back, I will extend the invitation into that arena also for I know that you have happy memories of happy moments during that time as well as the difficult programming, and so when you review the times in your life, when these moments, memories, float to the surface of your mind for your reflection, allow the negative to fall away and take with you the jewels of truth and harmony that will sustain you on your journey. Encourage others to see the joy in living and to abandon the fears and the darkness of the dark ages behind.

I appreciate your words, Elyssia, indicating that you should perhaps talk yourself into having enough faith to make your mind believe something that you have been conditioned all your life against, and in part this is effective, but when you have sought clarity from Our Father and when the Spirit of Truth has shivered your timbers, you will not need to talk yourself into faith. You will feel it inside out and you will effect others by your living of it. Practice makes perfect.

ELYSSIA: But usually the conversation doesn’t turn around to these extreme moments.

TOMAS: I am going to be an instigator here and tell you that you are a worker in the field and you can listen for these moments and even elicit them by bringing up conversations that will gear a conversation around to an opportunity for an individual to make a soul choice. This is part of working in the field. It may not come up automatically, but I know how clever you are, how creative you can be.

ELYSSIA: As long as I don’t get . .. Jesus said don’t press people in an emotional way, and so that’s one thing I try to remember.

TOMAS: Right.

ELYSSIA: You know, one of these women that I know is afraid to die because her old stepmother, she figures, up there, and she’s afraid to meet her, in heaven.

TOMAS: You have definitely got some work cut out for you. (Group laughter)

LEAH: Tomas, you have spoken to us about making a full-fledged attempt at seeing in the light of the spirit as opposed to the shadow, and I am wondering about what Liana was talking about. I remember going as a teenager to a nursing home and the feeling of pleas from these people, calling out to you, and there just isn’t enough of you to give to these people, those are the conscious ones, but when you encounter someone, or like Liana can encounter someone like she did, what is the best avenue? I don’t know how to see that in the light of the spirit, although I see myself answering the question a little bit. I suppose we could be grateful this person isn’t living in India, where, you know, they are in a clean bed, that there are people attending to them.

TOMAS: You misunderstand.

LEAH: I know we could pray for them, but how do I see this in the light of the spirit? I need some help here.

TOMAS: I am going to personalize it for you because there is no way that you can find a silver lining by an act of the will regarding the suffering of millions. I am not suggesting that. I am suggesting that in your own personal life’s experiences, you find a memory that you can savor even in the face of it having been painful and difficult. Along these lines, let me strike up the example of your association with your mother-in-law and her death.

You were with her intimately through this experience, and you reported to your peers and to the heavens at large, a time and more wherein your spirit was impressed by the greater reality in her adaptation from this plane of existence to the next, and you also bore witness to the experiential depths of your fellows who also knew her well and went into this experience either feelingly or who avoided feeling her exit.

I realize when you as a human being look back upon the death of an individual you respectfully honor their suffering and the sense of human loss, and those are perhaps the two primary emotions that are allowed in your social chain, but your stories themselves testify to her strength, in spite of the given understanding of the physical decay and destitution, her stalwart spirit was able to survive the devastation of the moment. This is what I urge you to remember: her courage and the courage of her indwelling spirit that would minister to her in this experience and to the angelic corps, the seraphim, who enabled the environment itself to adapt to her release into the greater reality.

When Michael spoke and said the stones themselves will sing out, the entire universe is constructed to raise its voice into the victory cry of spirit reality, and as far as the physics of the cosmos are concerned, all things conspire to bring about the will of God, and passing from this life to the next is part of God’s will. His will be done. Look at your experience as a reflection and understand therein how it is that His will has been done, and this will give you a greater appreciation for your experiences. It is not to eliminate the sadness or the pain or the difficulty, no, but to honor that sadness, pain and difficulty and realize that the spirit has triumphed!

LEAH: I thank you for your answer. I still am stuck with . .. if I were to go into a nursing home and encounter what Liana did, I feel as if I should pray for this individual, but I don’t know what I would say. I don’t know if there is something to ask for. Would you pray that you didn’t suffer? I don’t know what kind of attitude, I would be so . .. shocked, I guess.

TOMAS: Perhaps you have no business going there. If you are led to or sent to an environment, you will be given that which you need to experience it. Do not project in advance what your experience will be, unless of course you are inviting the universe to give you the opportunity to experience just that so that you will know first hand how to feel and what to do. You know that as a child of God, one who has been reborn of the spirit, one who has devoted many hours to recognizing the reality of God in himself, in you and in your fellows, have by now begun to perceive what that reality is and how it feels. You have been urged to begin how to recognize the presence of God in others. It is at some point assumed that you know what that feels like, and when it is not there. You can sense the spirit with your spirit. It will respond, in truth. If the spirit is alive, rejoice in the spirit. If it is not there, it is a carcass; it is cellular and unconscious of its suffering.

ELYSSIA: Well, it’s particularly a problem for all of us now because we can see that people are being kept alive so proficiently . ..


ELYSSIA: … for untold months of agony.


ELYSSIA: We all can see it!


ELYSSIA: So, it’s only getting worse, although medical science is getting better.

TOMAS: You know that on more advanced worlds the forward thinking peoples are able to set the pace of what can be believed. I have witnessed in a very short period of time the turnaround of cigarettes as being acceptable to being unacceptable. In a very short period of time, the greater bulk of your social structure, has engaged itself in a ban against cigarette smoking, in particular, in public places, and I am beginning to observe that this is true in terms of diet, for you, as a race of people, are being encouraged to exercise more and to reduce and or eliminate fat, sugar, cholesterol and certain elements from your diet, and these are very popular and they are good for you.

Now, there are some who like sugar and butter and object very much to you telling them what they will eat and what they will drink and what they will wear. Indeed, their free will may have them on a campaign of another sort, however, it is true that you can affect the mores and the styles in this way, and if you are forward-thinking individuals with the benefit of the fifth epochal revelation, with an understanding of what happens to you when you leave this planet, that you will be received into the Resurrection Hall and given divine guidance in your development on the next level of spirit attainment, then you can fearlessly let these truths be known such that your truths will blend with other forward-thinking human beings who also have a sense of compassion and mercy for the human condition and these things will be changed and they will be changed quickly. Do not focus on the excessive mercenary aspects, but forge ahead into the real heart of the matter and that is spirit discernment. The spirit is stronger, and love is more contagious than hate.

LEAH: Thank you.

ELYSSIA: I would like to change the subject for just a minute, Tomas. I would like to ask — I seem to feel that life is taking on a speeding up aspect, and I’m just sort of trying to . . I’d like you to comment because you are a sort of an observer and so you can probably comment with a lot of clarity to my question, but it seems to me I used to have time to sit and read a novel. Now I never read novels because if I’m going to read I’m going to read my Book or something, because I don’t want to just read a novel but I have enjoyed novels tremendously in the past. It seems to me that life has speeded up. Is it I who have speeded up? or is it life that has speeded up?

TOMAS; It’s all that sugar.

ELYSSIA: Come on, Tomas. You know I don’t even eat as much sugar as probably most people.

TOMAS: Technology has contributed greatly to the accelerated pace and it is other forms of sophistication that adds to your sense of action. It is therefore even more imperative that you take that time to establish yourself in stillness, that you develop your own reality. You remember the effects of the collective consciousness, Elyssia, and allow yourself to be yourself in the face of some tremendous pulling and swaying in many directions.

I sincerely urge you to maintain your own integrity as an individual in your own time span and in your own value system. Do not continually adapt your values to those around you. Your realities are based on the Father. Your realities are as important if not more so than those around you. Be firm in your foundation. Allow much of life to pass you by for it is going nowhere. You must learn to be the calm eye in the hurricane.

ELYSSIA: I really appreciate those words. I remember the Book says overmuch socialization borders on evil. But I have a very difficult time deciding how much is too much. You know, I don’t want to miss being friendly with my neighbors, I want to help my kids, I like to be in my church. All these things. It must — I can’t really see all these things clearly, but I’m thinking it must add up to more than I can actually sustain without a loss of my own privacy completely.

TOMAS: If you feel that you are being of service, then give yourself space, permission, to be of service. If you feel you are just being a buffer to their reality, then you might want to take another look. If you are just allowing yourself to float downstream, you may be doing everyone a disservice. Remember the mota you read this evening, that the angels refuse to help those who will not act upon their light of truth, and so what does that mean to you?

ELYSSIA: Well, I’m certainly trying to figure that out. I am working on this problem, but I don’t see anything getting too far.

TOMAS: Perhaps you are in denial. Perhaps we have extended ourselves into the evening beyond what is healthy.

ELYSSIA: Yes, I’m sure that’s true.


TOMAS: It would seem that we are ready for a nap. I would like to thank you for your attention this evening and for your provocative questions, but I do want to stress that my lesson was not limited to the subject that Liana brought up and that we spent the bulk of the evening on. When I suggest that you look back at your life experiences, and find joy there and value, I am not limiting it to your experience in terms of death, but in the passage of life’s journeys. In anticipation that your life’s journey will provide you with substance, reality, joy, even growth, I am your loyal companion, and your friend and loyal teacher, Tomas. Farewell.

GROUP: Thank you, Tomas. Thank you so much.

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