1992-12-12- Early Teaching Mission Session 19
NOTE: THE FOLLOWING SESSION TRANSMISSIONS CAME FROM THE EFFORTS OF PRACTICING AND LEARNING TO T/R AND LEARNING TO TRUST ONESELF AND THE CELESTIAL EFFORTS TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE MORTAL MIND AND DEMONSTRATES THE PROCESS.
1.1 Topic: Impressions – 1.2 Group: Sarasota TeaM
2 Facilitators – 2.1 Teacher: Alfana, TA, Nebadonia – 2.2 TR: Allene Vick
Group: Sarasota TeaM
TR: Allene Vick
December 12, 1992
[[Allene – Impressions December 12, 1992]]
Allene: Dear Michael, Thought Adjuster, Teachers, Please help me. I am turning to you for more guidance and asking for your help. Today, as you know, I was off balance emotionally. It seems this situation with Mother is a constant cycle that gets played out over and over and over. Please show me what I am doing to cause this; how I can break this cycle and teach me what I am to learn in this. I thank you for your help. Please help me put aside any of my own perceptions to be open to hear what you have to share with me. Alfana, is this you?
ALFANA: Yes, dear child, this is Alfana. The reason this throws you off balance so much is that there is much unresolved emotion connected with your mother. These situations merely act as a trigger to all of that. Your mother is indeed a difficult one to deal with. Her intentions are good and she makes much effort to do what she can every day. You know this. You see it everyday. Remember what Michael said to you, “Walk their path with them.” Your expectations of her are too high.
She cannot meet them. It is up to you to make the adjustment and to eliminate your expectations. Do you not remember Lor-El telling you that you can never be hurt unless there are expectations of others?. This is indeed a trial for you, but it is a good opportunity to practice loving another as they are.
This is particularly difficult when the one you are learning this from is one’s parent. Each child has the deep desire to be loved and accepted by their parents. When this is not met, their remains a deep longing within for this unconditional love. As a daughter, this is generally most difficult with the mother. You have seen this. Your mother loves you to the limit of her ability. You must accept this. You have resolved this with your father, but this was easier as you do not live with him and he is not as rigid a personality as your mother.
You are so accustomed to sharing with others who understand and can see what is happening. Your mother is not able to fathom what you are talking about. As it was too frightening for your brother, Ken to see and face his major issues, it is the same for your mother. You challenge her carefully designed defenses and she resorts to denial. She can only discuss these things on a superficial level and then she must withdraw to an area that is safe for her. Let her be, my child, and love her as Michael loves all his lambs.
She is truly one of his as her intentions are good and are followed daily by action. This is a good lesson for you to learn now. You have always been a seeker and have not accepted authority without question. Your mother comes from a different place. She has never trusted her own authority, thus, she is looks to others in authority for validation of her decisions. It causes you much frustration that you, who knows so much, are constantly challenged by her faith in others and lack of faith in you.
You must come to accept that in time, she will come to see you for who you are. Be patient. You want this to happen now and this is most unlikely to occur during her lifetime here. You are so patient with waiting for the coming events to unfold, why must you be so impatient with what is in front of you? Would it not be good to show the same patience in this situation?
Your mother is pleased that you have such a good friend in Patije. She does not know how much you are spiritually nurtured in your association with Patije, thus, she is at a loss as to see why you feel so indebted to Patije when your mother has been so willing and has done so much for you. This appears to be out of balance to her and she feels slighted and rejected. She cannot know the spiritual joy and comfort you share with Ellen, Alan, Del, Patije and others as she is not aware at this level. I makes her feel lacking that she cannot give to you what you find so valuable from others. If she were, she would be sharing with you also at this level. You want her to be able to experience all that you are experiencing.
Here is another lesson for you. You have learned that you cannot lift others out of their dilemmas. You can only love them and support them where they are at and when there is an opening share what they may be open to hearing. Can you not see that this is the same? With your level of experiences and understanding of so much, you soar so high above the heads of most around you, they simply cannot keep pace with you.
This does not present a problem to you as you instinctively share on the level of those around you leading them to take baby steps when they are ready. With your mother, you are not satisfied with this. Why not treat her as you do others and proceed with the same good sense? This you do not do because you want her to know who you are. How in the world can you expect this to be? Can you not now see how silly this idea is? Your mother cannot know who you are. Only those on your level and beyond can truly see this.
Look not to your mother any longer for acceptance and unconditional love. Have you not found this in the Father, Michael, the Creative Mother Spirit and all you celestial companions? Do you not know of our love and support? Have you not noticed that there are no conditions or expectations placed on you by any of your celestial companions? We love you and are here to love and support you.
If we urge you forward, it is because we know your heart and your sincere desire to move forward up the spiritual spiral towards the Father. If you should choose to take a vacation from all of this or to put it aside, do you not know that we have told all of you that this, too, is okay.
Is it not enough to know that you are so well loved and cherished by so many in the universe and that we are ever ready at your side to help you? Think on this and you will get a much better prospective on this situation. You know this, but as a mortal, you are still subject to getting ensnared in your human emotions and expectations. As you put these aside and move beyond them, you free up the circuits for more positive events to take place. It is as if you have a ball of yarn.
When it is all snarled, you can do nothing with it. When you straighten it out, there are many possibilities of what can be done with the yarn. Unsnarled yourselves. It may at times seem that you are coming unraveled in the process, but this you must go through for the changes to take place. Many are so comfortable with the snarled mess, that they fear any changes to the long established patterns.
Alfana, I do thank you for the good guidance you have given me. On some level, of course, I know all of this and yet when the emotions and unresolved unconscious issues become involved, we seem to get caught in such ways that we lose all perspective and forget what we know. Thank you for helping me see more clearly.
All that you have shared with me helps a lot, but there are still questions that I have? How am I able to continue with my job; devote as much time as I have been to you, the classes, the groups; tackle even more projects with Patije; take care of daily duties; spend time with mother; and stay in touch with my many fellow friends along the path?
This seems even more overwhelming by the fact that I do not live alone where I have much more freedom and time. How can it be, that I am in a situation where I am not allowed the freedom to teach classes and have groups here at home? It really doesn’t seem like home when I cannot do this. I would really appreciate some practical suggestions and some direction in establishing the best priorities. I need to find some balance here also as it is my wish to do all I can to be of service in all that is happening. What can I do to help my body to have the strength for all of this? How much sleep do I need daily?
ALFANA: Take the time to nourish your body and to nurture yourself. You have neglected these areas in driving yourself to accomplish so much. You were given a body, not a machine. When you treat it as a machine, you do not honor the temple you were given. You do not see and appreciate it for the exquisite creation that it is. Make use of your time on Urantia to enjoy this gift.
Do not abuse it and it will serve you well. As you do this, you will require less sleep for it will have received daily nurturing from you. It will not need to work so hard to overcome the stress you have placed on it during the day. Learn to love it and care for it as a living part of yourself while you have it.
It would be good for you to establish a pattern. This we have mentioned to you before. This way you and your body would become attuned to this pattern and operate more effectively and efficiently. Your desire to do so much, drives you to extremes from which you and your body periodically have to recover. This causes both more stress. This, too, will cause you to need less sleep, as your body will learn when it can depend on rest and will use that time accordingly.
As for your request for priorities, this you already have been thinking about. You are concerned as you do not wish to let anything interfere with all your Urantia activities. Your intentions and desires are well known. You have already exhibited your willingness by all your efforts. This willingness to serve will not be wasted. There is much to be done and we know you can be counted on when you are asked to serve. It would be best for you to relax more now and get your affairs in order.
You cannot expect to keep pace with Patije as there are many other demands on your time. Do not allow yourself to feel that you are falling down on the job, as you take the time to take care for yourself and all of the many tasks you have before you to put away, clear up and clear out. It would be good that you take some time for this now and have that behind you.
When you do, you will be better able to devote more of your full attention to your beloved Urantia activities and there will be many in the days to come.
You will feel more comfortable with your situation at home as you take the time to go through your things and create your own sanctuary in your room – an environment that is aesthetically pleasing to you surrounded by those things that mean the most to you. Take the time to do this, as this effort will be well worth it to your peace of mind. You cannot change the situation, but you can change a part of it.
This will make a bigger difference than you realize. You can do much to make other changes. In this you will have to take the lead. Your mother will be well pleased with the results. Just proceed. Get started on this project.
You are somewhat surprised are you not? You expected more emphasis to be placed on your Urantia activities did you not?
Allene: Yes, I did.
ALFANA: Your Michael has lived on Urantia. He is well aware of the basic requirements your daily existence places on you. These you cannot magically set aside and they are not to be avoided. They are a part of your experience here. You are not asked to put aside all else including relaxation and pleasurable pursuits with friends. You are not asked to do more than circumstances allow for in being of service.
Michael: Relax little one.
You are one of mine. Your intentions are so precious to me. Do not tire yourself and become weary. As you follow me, the path will be made clear. Already you have done much. Let us do this together and the journey will be lighter.
Dear Creative Mother, I come to you for comfort as I know that as I focus my intent, it changes from that to reality. Please help me to keep my focus ever on will of the Father and to see the opportunities to do His will as they unfold.
NEBADONIA: I am ever aware of your intentions and desires. In the days ahead you will see these manifest themselves beyond what you can at present focus on or envision. As your vision is so limited, focus your intentions on doing the will of the Father. I who know your heart so well, will make the best and highest use of your openness and willingness to serve.
Allene: Dear Thought Adjuster, I am following Welmek’s guidance and asking you to become my Thought Controller. What can I do to assist you in this?
THOUGHT ADJUSTER: You intent and sincere desire is all that is needed. It is your willingness to step aside, to put your personal self aside, that greatly aids in this transition. As you consciously think on this and affirm your willingness, this takes place. We cannot override your free will. As you direct your free will away from self and towards the will of the Father, this is a natural process and one that we all rejoice in.
You were correct today in thinking how many times you traverse the bridge back and forth on your path. At times you exercise your free will in ways that please the Father and at times you exercise it to please yourself. This choice is always yours. You make it many, many times each day. In every encounter, every thought, every deed you exercise your free will. Which side do you want to be on?
Think about this in all your actions and thoughts. Patije’s question, “What would you do if Michael were beside you?” is a good one. Even better, is “What would Michael do?” He is your best example. As you focus on this, your choices will be better ones. In time you will cross the bridge less often back to self pleasing choices.
I thank all of you for your most wonderful lessons this evening. I have one more thing that troubles my mind, if I could ask you about something so mundane and material after such guidance. I don’t know what to do about the money I am to receive. This troubles me as I do not feel that it is mine and I do not know how to handle this.
ALFANA: My dear child, of course, it is yours.
Allene: I don’t understand as I owe so much to others. It is with my mother that I am concerned, not the others.
ALFANA: You need not concern yourself about this. It is in your hands that her sense of security lies. You two may have difficulties, but do not doubt that you bring her much comfort. She would not choose to live alone no matter what she may say in anger or hurt feelings. She is afraid, but do not respond to her fear. As you follow my suggestions, she will begin to feel more comfortable and will relax. She is more concerned about your welfare than she is of her own. When she expresses otherwise, it is her fear speaking and she is not pleased when this surfaces. Your change in attitude will eliminate your concerns with this.
You need not worry yourself with the future. This will take care of itself. You know this. Do not doubt it. Remember the lilies in the field. Just get on with what you are doing.
Dear Father, I thank you for all the help I have received tonight. Please help me to take these lessons and apply them to be of better service to you.