Special Session #6 – Gender –
March 12, 2010
Teacher: Monjoronson
Topics: Celestial perceptions of mortals
The topic of gender
Gender as a predisposition or temperament
Male orientation of Descending Sons of God
Does gender orientation continue during ascendant career?
Mortal gender handicaps
The myths of gender influence
Raising children to be equal, to be whole
Gender stereotyping causes separation
Sexual inequality in nature
Understanding the roles of environment and hormones on behavior
Words of comfort for those in Chile
TR: Daniel Raphael
Moderator: Vicki Vanderheyden
March 12, 2010
Vicki: Dear Father, we ask that you connect us in an energetic web that illuminates and protects us for this work we do on your behalf. May these sessions provide an avenue for all who read these words, toward truth, beauty and goodness, where truth is restored, beauty surrounds us and goodness penetrates our very being in ways that allow us to serve others with love and care. We humbly extend our gratitude to all those seen and unseen, who facilitate this process. Amen.
Celestial perceptions of mortals
Vicki: Good morning, Monjoronson. I’ve taken some of your advice for children, and prepared my own little quiet place to meditate and do our co-creative work. It’s a cozy little room, where I can sit at a desk or in a comfortable chair, surrounded by books and photographs and memorabilia, and it is where I am now. Can you see me?
MONJORONSON: Oh, very clearly.
Vicki: May I ask another question along that curious line?
MONJORONSON: Of course.
Vickie: Could you explain the access that you may have to our thoughts, our actions, our conversations?
MONJORONSON: Yes, very easily. I would like to draw a metaphor for you: Imagine yourselves in a room, and that you are hearing the children in the next room playing cards and games of that sort, and you are busy about your own work and you have closed the door between you, and now you are occupying your time, doing what you do, but you can still hear the children in the background.
When you wish, you can stop what you are doing and listen closely and you will have full awareness of what the children are talking about. And so, my situation and the angels, celestial teachers and so on, are very similar in that regard, that we have access to your mind—they are energetic vibrations. Remember, thoughts are “things,” they actually exist much as the pencil or pen on your table or desk. They exist, they are permanent and they have existence. Your thoughts are very easily registered in my awareness; I understand what you are thinking, and I understand the dialog that is going on between you and other people.
So too, I am able to disregard the mind chatter that is not relevant to the topic at hand, or to the subject we are working with. I can have a conscious filter, so to speak, such as you have when you are listening to children. If you should hear something in your peripheral hearing of concern, you would stop what you are doing and listen closely. It is very similar for us; we have an awareness, a conscious awareness, we are tuned in to you, and so when there are peak words, or significant words or topics that come up, then we listen in. Does this help you:
Vicki: Oh, yes! What a beautiful metaphor. I think that is very descriptive, and one I can relate to. Thank you.
MONJORONSON: You are welcome.
The topic of gender
Vickie: I’m going to move on to our topic for this session, unless you have something else you would like to share.
MONJORONSON: No, let us proceed.
Vickie: Okay. Your discussion on how we mortals are handicapped on our planet is one that I have reflected on, and from that contemplation, a topic surfaced, and the topic was “gender.” So today, I am going to ask questions around the theme of gender.
I’ll begin with my first question: In universal or spiritual terms, how would you define the difference between the feminine and masculine gender? For instance, why do we refer to you in the masculine gender, as a Magisterial Son, instead of a Magisterial Daughter?
MONJORONSON: (With a chuckle.) You really have two questions there. The first, I would be glad to answer, is that we observe gender both as a biologic material function, which is… (a brief interruption for Daniel).
[Vicki: Do you want me to help you get back to the question?
Daniel: No, just let me drop back in. It is kinda like a phonograph needle that has been jogged and races across the grooves, and so I drop the needle back in the groove.]
Gender as a predisposition or temperament
MONJORONSON: We see gender first as a predisposition, or a temperament, an orientation towards yourself, among other people. What is the most highly registerable and significant part of understanding you, of understanding others, is that there is a mindset according to gender on your world. This was designed-in by the Life Carriers, and it was approved by those higher in authority. This is a permanent predisposition of individuals, of male and female orientation.
This is recorded in your genetic code, and of course, as you know, not everyone is a true type male or a true type female, that there are mixes and different proportions of these predisposed gender temperaments in each individual. Some men experience a very balanced gender temperament and predisposition between the masculine and feminine in themselves, and others are more feminine, and others are more male. The same proposition for women.
We are not so much concerned about your biologic function in our discussions with you, as this is not something in our awareness; it is simply a lesser issue that gains our attention. We are much more concerned how you feel relevant to your society, how you feel relevant to yourself as one of the genders. It is important to understand your gender temperament and orientation, and that you are comfortable with it. This has a great deal to do with your self-esteem, your self-image and your social-image, all of which affect the budding spirituality that grows within you.
Male orientation of Descending Sons of God
Now, to your second question: You are aware that the Descending Sons of God, including the Divine Son, all have male orientations. Why is this, you were asking? It is simply a way of designating maleness for this characteristic of executive capacity, to be able to “take charge,” as you would say, to use your language. This phrase does not explain very well, the temperament of the Son Order. It could have just as easily been called the Daughter orientation for executive capacity. However, on your world this capacity is male oriented in the vast majority. Yes, there are matriarchal societies with feminine dominant executive capacity individuals and lineages. However, this is in the main a very miniscule percentage of your global population and cultural orientation.
We provided this orientation for the Descending Sons, as explained to you, simply for your ease of understanding. Yes, you do have those women who have been deprived of executive capacity—we call that equality—which has been missing in the vast majority of all human history on Urantia, and which is missing so much in some cultures, both due to ethnic reasons and due to religious reasons and cultural heritage. Remember that gender equality is a significator for maturity of a society and civilization. This goes hand in hand with the elevation of sustainable peace in the world. Thank you.
Vicki: We’ve been told that our gender identity will continue throughout our ascendant career. In other words, as we ascend, will there be less expression of our gender, and possibly more of a blending of gender differences?
Does gender orientation continue during ascendant career?
MONJORONSON: Yes, most certainly. Your gender orientation will be strongest at the earliest eras of your morontial existence, and by the time you reach Paradise, after traversing through the Havona spheres, you will be virtually gender-less; it will be much like your favorite color would be pink, and that would be all the significance that you may give to your gender at that time, is that something you have a personal preference for—it doesn’t affect your thinking, or your own executive capacity, or your compassion for others. It becomes less and less as you ascend.
Vicki: That’s what I thought. And it speaks to the gender handicaps that we feel, that we impose upon each other on our planet, because it seems like it does interfere with our growth, whether it is the female gender imposing on male, or male imposing it on female. Would you say that is an accurate assumption?
Mortal gender handicaps
MONJORONSON: Most certainly. You have many handicaps in being a mortal, one of which is your gender, and those who have conflicts with their gender, perhaps may find it easier to accept their education in the afterlife.
Vicki: I thought we could get more specific in terms of defining those, Monjoronson, if you welcome this idea. So my next question is: What do you consider to be the major handicaps—the major ones for the female gender, at this time on our planet?
MONJORONSON: For this time, on this planet?
Vicki: Yes, taking into account that they vary from one culture to another, but it seems like there may be some that are more general than others.
MONJORONSON: In your mortal lifetime?
Vicki: Yes.
MONJORONSON: It is very much the same of males. Very few of you have the capacity to wipe away your gender—the gender factor—when you think of humanity, whether male or female. If you were able to do that, you would begin to see people as individuals, unique unto themselves, without gender. The major issue both for males and females is self-image and self-worth. Many of you do not feel that you are worthy of the goodness that comes into your life, simply because you have not been trained or given the predisposition of self-worth, as an individual. Males have a tremendous difficulty with this as well, particularly in those cultures which are strongly masculinely oriented, simply because they have an over-inflated self-worth, which is dependent upon their gender—that is a false reading of their worthiness in the long run.
As you perhaps may begin to understand or see, gender becomes less and less an issue as you move forward in your spiritual career. We are striving to assist the advancement in this kind of thinking—the morontial thinking of gender—in those who write and teach about equality in terms of gender. A much more powerful medium of expression would be to see each person as an individual, without their gender specified. I know I have gone far past the parameters of your question, but we are striving for you to see it from our perspective, which is in terms of your ascendant career, 98% of your career. Thank you.
Vicki: I appreciate that extended view; it is exactly what we are looking for here, is that kind of direction. So thank you.
We are learning that even in modern times, there are many myths related to gender that influence our society, some of which we may have touched on here. What do you consider the most detrimental myth that we could and should work to correct at this time?
The myths of gender influence
MONJORONSON: The largest myth is that males are leaders, whether you look into the written myths of ancient cultures, or the myths that are perpetuated in contemporary cultures, the myth of men as leaders is foremost and dominant. Men assume their leadership, due to the human consciousness that pervades your world. Ten thousand years does not give you much historic separation from your Neanderthal ancestors, those individuals who were so similar to you. You have much of this ingrained in your being. The great myth of masculine leadership stems from brute force and over-powering those who are physically weaker and weigh less, and do not have the muscular development.
Women, on the other hand, have a much more highly developed sense of themselves as social beings, because they have had to learn how to manipulate the home, clan, and tribe social environments to have their views and their wishes become known and affect the course of their tribes, families and clans. True leadership in your world will not occur until the dyad of male and female as competent and capably co-responsible, co-leaders of a family, or of a business unit exists.
You have wasted so much of your intellectual and cultural capacity in the male and female psyche, which can be used constructively in the efforts both socially and through your business cultures and governmental cultures, than you have any idea. These do not come out, and do not become known until compatible male-female co-responsible partners work together over a period of time. There comes a synchronicity in their work that surpasses what is obvious to you. Thank you.
Vicki: Thank you. These gender handicaps that we have on our planet, seem to have roots in our childhood, as well as in our evolutionary progress. Our childhood has a tremendous impact on our future relationships. How we are guided by parents seems to affect our comfort and freedom to express our gender, or to advance beyond our gender. So my two questions are: What is your advice to parents when raising a child of the male gender? And then, what would be your advice to parents when raising a child of the female gender?
Raising children to be equal, to be whole
MONJORONSON: I would prefer to answer both questions simultaneously. The best course of action in raising children, both male and female, is to treat them equally. Do not project stereotypes for their gender, upon their careers or how they relate to one another socially, or to their role within the family structure. It is essential for the well being of males and females to have this type of training given to them. As I said, many men have an over-embellished, superiority complex, and many women have an inferiority complex—both express the inadequate and incomplete formation of a mature, social being.
Children are not given a chance to become whole and complete social beings if they are programmed by their parents to occupy the role of only one gender. The business of growing in a social environment, yes, does involve gender, but it is over dramatized, it is over emphasized and given too much significance to the future of the child. This is a handicap, both for males and females. When you give them this predisposition, they later on have to overcome it in order to become capable leaders and participants, members of a larger community.
You will find in some small communities in your world, some that have existed for many generations, that children are not given gender related roles early in life, but only assume these later as they become procreatively capable, and must then take the role of mother and father within a procreative family.
I make these statements this specific as not to give you the impression that we are gender specific or gender related in the work that we do with you. You should note, and will note with careful observation, that we treat you equally, we hold you to be of equal value and we appreciate you as you are. We do value each of you in your maleness and femaleness as you express an equitable view towards your children. This is a responsible position to take and we encourage you to see yourself as equals with peers of your own age and social group, as we also ask you to teach your children the same. Thank you.
Vicki: Yes, I understand, Monjoronson, and I feel that what you are trying to convey to us, is that we spend way too much time, in the business of gender stereotyping, and the separating, rather than the unifying qualities of our personalities, am I correct?
MONJORONSON: Exactly so.
Vicki: That was one of my concerns, as I was compiling these questions, was that too much discussion about one gender or another, leads to stereotyping, so I really appreciate that you are pointing that out to us. And it is especially comforting, I’m sure, for a lot of us, that we are viewed more in a holistic way.
Gender stereotyping causes separation
MONJORONSON: This is a lesson in discernment, in a larger scale, that you have said it yourself that gender stereotyping causes separation from others, that boys cannot associate with girls, and girls cannot associate with boys, that girls must do their prepping and primping and acting pretty and having peculiar gender related activities and gestures, to be fully feminine. This is an over embellishment of so many archaic traditions. You, as a discerning individual, can raise your children very equitably, even morontially in terms of gender, were you to engage your powers of discernment in the childrearing process. By discerning carefully, you will avoid stereotyping boys and girls with stereotypical statements, and projections and models. Thank you.
Vicki: Thank you. I am thinking about all of this. You’ve certainly given us the goals to reach for, however, in our society, we are still caught in this handicap. For instance: As a teacher, I often saw the inability for little boys to express themselves emotionally, and so even though my goal, like you have stated, should be not to view this child in terms of gender, what I was seeing were the results of a gender handicap. Can you speak to that?
MONJORONSON: Yes, certainly. As a teacher, who sees children come and go over the years, and get to know them quite well, even personally during the duration of a school year, you have seen the handicaps of gender stereotyping. It is difficult for you to engage that as a teacher, in the brief time that you have the attention of the child, one of a whole room full of children. It is almost impossible for you to correct those behaviors, or to right the wrongs and injuries that you see so evident in the faces and hearts of the children. You can have a powerful influence, however, to engage the thoughtfulness of children as intellectual and reflective individuals, to teach them what I am sharing with you today, and let these words of wisdom settle into the minds of these small ones.
Parents and adults often forget that these children are living, thinking individuals, who ingest the words that you give them, and oftentimes—and sometimes—retain these wisdoms, these reflections of wisdom and experience, in their minds for the duration of their lives, mulling them over and trying to justify and rectify the difference of opinion of how they were raised, and what the teacher said, and how they live out their own choosing as an adult. Were you to wipe away the gender of this child, you would see a child who has had difficulty expressing his feelings.
Yes, you see this child as a boy, as a male, yet how many times do you see women as adults, who have muted emotional capacity, to express their true feeling, what is in their heart, and share that easily and confidently, without first becoming angry or intoxicated through their passions, to express their feelings?
We see equal injustice and damage to boys and girls, as we view adults as emotionally expressive individuals. Remember, dear ones, that your emotional maturity is the flipside of the coin of your whole being; the other side being your spiritual development. You will find few masters of spiritual evolution who have not evolved emotionally as well. Thank you.
Vicki: That’s an interesting comment. Yes, and I do see both sides. Okay. I’m ready to move on here. This is a question that is hard for me to understand: There is a reference in the Urantia Book, that says that in nature, sexual equality does not prevail, and that only as we socially evolve, do—for instance—women begin to establish more of an equal status. Can you explain this for us?
Sexual inequality in nature
MONJORONSON: Most definitely. You will see in the insect world that there is a huge difference between the males and females, and their power in their insect world, in their species. You see with bees that drones do not collect honey, do not collect pollen, which are only there to mate with the queen, and have little function otherwise. The queen reproduces. You will see in a pasture of cows, where the bulls are dominant and they vie for power among themselves to mate with females.
There is a very definite separation of the genders, as far as their power and participation in their group. This tremendous separation is seen in many of the species. Yet, you will see in some of the more evolved primates, an equal capacity to care for the young infants. However, you will see among bears the proclivity of dominant males to kill offspring, and so the female must protect the young. You are correct in assuming and knowing, understanding, that as you evolve socially, that gender becomes less and less specific or necessary to the species.
What we see as retrogressive among your species, just simply because you are the dominant species on the world, does not mean that you are as socially evolved as some of your primate cousins. You have much to learn about social equality. Your need to demand social differences due to your gender differences is antiquarian. Thank you.
Vicki: I am just going to look through my notes here, and see if I have any more questions…
I’m going to try for one more here: When we were talking about the myths of gender, Monjoronson, another myth came to my mind, and that has to do with the effects of our hormones. For instance, in my reading—and this has been about little boys, so that’s why you are getting “male” references here— we are finding one of the hormones that’s been overly construed is testosterone, and it’s referenced as being the major cause of male aggression and violence. I think that we all understand that environment plays an important role here, so I guess what I’m asking is, could you discuss the degree in which gender specific hormones plays in determining behavior?
Understanding the roles of environment and hormones on behavior
MONJORONSON: Most certainly. When you view the social activities of children before pubescence and before pre-pubescence, you will see a tremendous equity between these children. You will see very specifically, what they have learned from the roles of their parents, which are gender specific in many, many ways. When hormones begin to assert themselves in the growing bodies of these children, the hormones bring out the dominating gender factors of each child, as they are male or female.
The hormones are simply enhancers of the gender development. Physically, the gonads develop and the body develops to the point of capacity of reproduction, but the behavior of the individual is affected by those hormones. Young boys will become more manlike and the more dominating or influence the hormones have in him, he will express more and more of the dominant, domineering characteristics of a powerful male. This is the aspect of hormones both for males and for females.
In the worst cases, there is the urge to mate frequently, which far exceeds any rational reason for that behavior. There are those who have lesser levels of their gender influencing hormones to the point where they feel incapable or uninterested in sexual activity. In all cases, do not forget that behavior is backed by thoughts and decisions, made from choices of behavior in the mind of the individual. Yes, you have seen very highly developed masculine men, and the same for women, who are yet socially responsible with their sexuality and the expressions of their gender. We are saying that, yes, testosterone and estrogens are very powerful in the individual, but in the end, it is the individual who makes the decision of how they express themselves within the parameters of their sexual behavior, of the sex of their gender.
Only in the most extreme cases, or perhaps 1:10,000, those who are almost insanely, overly developed in their sexuality and the need for dominance. In males, you see this as abusive, violent behavior. In women you see this as exceptionally exaggerated manipulation and sexual encouragement for dominance and control. These are all extreme behaviors, which are always ameliorated by right thinking. Therefore, it is essential that in the childhood of the individual, part of their education is more or less, ethical and social, so that they understand consciously the acceptable means of their expression in their social lives, both for their individual happiness, and the social equanimity of their group. Thank you.
Vicki: I think that really clarifies this misconception. I appreciate that. Before we conclude this session, I’m going to move away from our discussion about gender to address a concern that was brought to our attention. In our communication with friends in Chile, they spoke of the pervasive fear that many are feeling toward the continual earthquake activity that they’re living with. In this communication, they specifically mentioned their appreciation for your spiritual presence, as they read these transcripts, and so I’m wondering, could you offer them some advice, and possibly some things to meditate upon?
Words of comfort for those in Chile
MONJORONSON: Most certainly. The peace that pervades all understanding, and surpasses all understanding begins in a personal relationship with the God presence within you. Your Creator, Christ Michael, as Jesus, provided that to those who knew him during his mortal reign and time here on earth. He provided them with a great assurance that even though the earth should shake and the mountains explode, there is a sureness and peace that pervades the universe, and that is in the relationship the individual has within themselves, that divine spark of God with them, who is always present with them and who wishes only that the relationship between that individual and God the Divine, grow into more and more, firmer and stouter assurance of its eternal existence.
People have survived many cataclysms, both personal and immediate, and those which are distant and far away and begin within the bowels of the earth, through their relationship with God. I am here with you; I am God’s Son from Paradise, to be here with you. I have chosen to be here with you to give you greater security in your life while you are here in mortal flesh, and to assure you of a tremendously exciting adventure of ascension in your afterlife.
There is a life for you here and you are needed, you have a purpose and a reason for being here, and that is to grow in greater assurance that you have something special to do in this world and in the afterlife. Yes, we of my team and the liaison team do wish that you each would know that our presence here is powerful, we are present—though you cannot see us—and we have a course of life, an education and training for you, which will make you hopefully feel more secure in your life. You see earthquakes and the destruction around you as survivable, that you are not destroyed, as your house, your home and your property is destroyed, but that you exist.
And even those loved ones who were killed and crushed in this cataclysm, now rest in the arms of Christ Michael’s mansion worlds, where they are at peace and loved by all around them. Yes, dear ones, we are here to help you change your world, both on the outer and the inner, for yourselves. Thank you.
Vicki: That was very nice, Monjoronson, thank you for that. I’m sure they will truly appreciate it. Unless you have something to add, this concludes our session with our highest gratitude for your words of wisdom.
MONJORONSON: All is well.
