1996-09-19-Unselfish Devotion, Fear, Rejection
Pittsburgh #36
Contents
• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Unselfish Devotion
o 1.2 Group: Pittsburgh TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Tomas
o 2.2 TR: Gerdean
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Opening
o 3.2 Lesson
3.2.1 Devotion
o 3.3 Dialogue
3.3.1 Fear, Rejection
3.3.2 Dissemination
3.3.3 Tradition
Topic: Unselfish Devotion
Group: Pittsburgh TeaM
Facilitators
Teacher: Tomas
TR: Gerdean
Session
Opening
TOMAS: Good evening, friends. Group: Good evening, Tomas.
TOMAS: I, Tomas, your teacher, am in attendance with you this evening as I am also in attendance with the many, myriad celestial hosts which hover around you and for you and with you, as well as a number of visitors. Your Paper study this evening has given you some indication, if you were but to calculate on your fingers and toes, how many personages surround even one devoted soldier of the circles, and when we get you co-ordinated in one room, it is truly a big event. The air around you this evening is electric and jubilant in appreciation of your renewed application and devotion to our spirit family, our gathering together.
In keeping with our format, I have another lesson in store for you this evening. Before I embark, however, I would like to take a moment and pause for your consideration. I have heard it remarked that we are working pell mell, that Tomas is really piling it on, and so forth, and I do not want to shovel the coal so fast that the steam engine runs us all over. Indeed, I have many, many lessons, but I am not so bent on my formal agenda that I am unwilling to abide with you in your growing process. I will not lollygag overmuch, be advised, but if it is necessary that we slow down, I would like to hear it before I again commence. What say ye?
Group: I think it’s great. Full speed ahead!
TOMAS: I must come up with another pet name for you, my loyal followers, my eager beavers. Perhaps I shall ponder that after I have given you your assignment for the week. I suspect that mine [my assignment] will be the more pleasant. I would like to address this evening yet another fruit of the spirit, that being unselfish devotion.
Hunnah: That’s a biggie.
Lesson
Devotion
TOMAS: Indeed, that’s a biggie. Let us take the concept over all of “unselfish devotion” and give it a broad brush stroke to loosen the limbs of the mind. A sweeping appraisal of unselfish devotion would be dramatic in its employment; it would be a pageant of grand scale, of epoch proportions. Unselfish devotion attends to Paradise, all the way to the tiniest detail, and so, in order that we might bring this sweeping scope of a phrase into our breadth of consciousness, that we might discover it as an actuality in our own life, indeed, within our own personal personality as a trait of character, we shall look at “devotion.”
Certainly anyone who has committed him or herself to any even trifling cause has some idea of devotion: A young fellow who brings home his first stray puppy is instantly devoted to the four-legged creature. He will feed it, he promises; he will wash the bowl; he will walk him regularly, and for a short period of time his entire personality is focused on utter devotion to this dog, this new pet.
Similarly, in young girlhood, a young man may catch a young ladies’ fancy, and her entire waking life is spent thinking of her beloved and her heart is devoted to picturizing their “happily ever after” situations. In some individuals, in their careers, they find themselves devoted to their work. They have applied themselves and studied. They have ambitions; they have made inroads into the ladder of echelon and community. Their life is devoted to this service, this cause, and all that they do, all that they present, is in response to and in service of their devotion to their career.
It is expanded here now to include devotion to family — not the young idealistic devotion of youth, but the sincere and arduous devotion of long-suffering, long-standing care, one for his spouse/her spouse, the children, the homestead, the future — the future even of the estate, and the grandchildren.
This is devotion to a value, one which most of you, if not all of you, can identify and to some extent appreciate. Creativity is an example of devotion. To paint the perfect picture, to shoot the perfect photograph. Sports also provides ideas and examples of devotion. To run the race, to climb the hill, to jump the hurdle — these are ambitions and goals which require total devotion in order that you may attain your end, your attainment, your accomplishment, your prize, and in many ways, your purpose.
“Unselfish” devotion is, again, a qualifier. Unselfish means that you do this for them. You bring home this puppy not for your own enjoyment, no sir! but for the benefit of that puppy! It is not for your demure need that you should adore the young man on the white horse, no ma’am, it is for the honor and glory of a noble prince and all the ideals and values that husband and hearth represent, and so you would bestow yourself unselfishly upon his every need, willingly.
These of youth give way to reality, to the truth of humanness, the pain of struggle, the sorrow of illness, the despair of defeat, the realities of life which bring often disappointment as well as accomplishment. Even so, unselfishly we prevail, learning how to eke out a living, how to manage our monies, how to compromise our relationships, how to set aside for the future, how to balance the many responsibilities of life that all may be served with perhaps some time left over for a game of cards or a Calgon bath.
And now we come along with “unselfish devotion” as a fruit of the spirit, and having now understood how fully the aspect of devotion affects your lives, and knowing personally how much you are affected by your own understanding of your own selfishness and unselfishness, as well as that of your brothers and sisters, your peers, your siblings, your enemies, and so forth, unselfish devotion to Our Father and to his children enters the picture.
And is it not true that Michael would have you manifest fruits of the spirit in order that you bear fruit and give honor to Him, the Living Vine? How is it that He would have us manifest unselfish devotion as a fruit of the spirit? Certainly all of the human facets we discussed, I discussed, are inclusive. That we take care of the lower animal realms with devotion is noble. That we love and are loved in return is noble. That we have concern for the future of our families, economically, philosophically, politically, ecologically, educationally, medically and so forth, are noble devotions.
But what of the fruit of the spirit? How are we devoted to the God that dwells within each other? How are we devoted unselfishly to the God that has given us all these wondrous things to have, to enjoy, to manage, to attain, to dispose of? For is it not He who is deserving of the highest devotion? Without Him, these things would not exist. Without Him, you would not be aware of the love, the beauty, the goodness of all that you enjoy as a kingdom believer, as a son or daughter.
“Unselfishly”, you say. “I am only human. How can I possibly devote my life to God and do it unselfishly? If I devote myself to God, will I have time then, to take care of these other affairs? Will I have time to paint pictures and dream and forecast and amend?”
As I look at the word “unselfish” I am reminded of many who, when speaking of spiritual matters, testify that a certain degree of selfishness is desired, and that it is wise to set aside, selfishly, a period of time in each day in order to thank the First Source and Center, the Creator of us all, for the devotion that we may give Him, for the devotion that He has given us, for the devotion that Michael had when he chose to come here, that he displayed in his life in the flesh, that he bestowed on his family conscientiously, that he engaged in at the marketplace, in the caravans, in meeting men and women and finding out how they lived their lives; in his travels, in his studies, in his musings, in his life with his apostles, in the devotion that he manifested to even the little children. An exemplary life, indeed, full and rich. And what made it unselfish was that he gave all credit to the Father.
As you thus look about yourself this week in quiet awareness of the many ways in which you yourself are devoted, in the many noble ways in which you devote yourself to value — truth, beauty, and goodness — to those things, beings and so on that have value, remember your primary Caregiver, your Father, for without Him none of this would be possible. Stop and thank the Father unselfishly for His devotion to you and honor Him by unselfish devotion to Him.
I am going to discuss this fruit further, but it is an introduction so that you can understand clearly in your social discourse with one another, that you all have this fruit of the spirit. You all have unselfish devotion. It is not a question of having to discover it, polish it up and show it off, for it is there in each of you. How is it that we may utilize this noble fruit to further the cause of the kingdom is a facet of unselfish devotion I will bring to your plates next week. How are you, my friends? You have blessed me with your presence here this evening. What a bountiful group! How have you been, one and all?
Dialogue
Mrs. Ml: Great.
Hunnah: She fell off the wall and they’re putting her back together.
TOMAS: Oh, no, my dear. She is not a fragile egg, and she will certainly be put back together. It is wonderful to see your smiling face, to feel your cheerful presence. I am glad you are among us and with us in more ways than one.
Mrs. Ml: Thank you, Tomas.
Fear, Rejection
TOMAS: Theresa, I will speak to you, for last time we talked I did not get to spend much time with you. You were telling me how you have learned to fear by trusting and being disappointed in your trust. It is unfortunate, but that is how one learns whom to trust and when to trust, but it is not a reason to give up on trusting altogether.
You recall the reading this evening of how it is that the angels have a hard time understanding the animal legacy of fear, and as I work with you and as I talk more and more with the midwayers, I gain an understanding of your vantage point, and I am somewhat reminded of the vantage point I had so very, very long ago, but truly it has rather evaporated in the mist of history. It is for me very difficult also to understand the animal legacy of fear.
I am beginning to think, however, as I dally with you and as I learn to occasionally challenge you, I am beginning to think that fear is just a bad habit that has been permeating your minds for so long it is easy to revert to fear and hide therein, rather than step out in courage and conviction in spite of the fear.
And so that is my greeting to you, my daughter, my mini-lesson, my somewhat challenge and my sincere hope, that you not allow the fear of the negative to steal from you the joy and riches of the positive, for love is more catching than hate.
Theresa: Thank you, Tomas. It isn’t a fear of being physically hurt. It was more of a mental hurt. I felt it was my ego being hurt. It was a put down kind of a thing I was talking about that I was referring to last week, that after so many put downs you just feel sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and not say anything.
TOMAS: Perhaps it is not so much that you should keep your mouth shut, but perhaps you should seek a different audience.
Hunnah: I think she’s going to enjoy that little paper we had from our . ..
TOMAS: On mota. A mini-lesson on mota.
Theresa: I was trying to work in that trust thing. You’re trying to trust people, you know, and you love them and you think you can trust them and you can’t! because they’re not ready. They’re just not ready. And you wonder where you’re supposed to stop and where you’re supposed to start and you’re there for a reason, they’re in your life for a reason and you want to enlighten them, and they’re not ready. And that was where I get the put-down, and it’s the ego! I just don’t want to be hurt that way again. And yet it’s not hurt. I get, maybe I call it a hurt . ..
TOMAS: It is a rejection of that which you would offer them. In truth you are offering them sonship, filiality with them in the spirit, and they are rejecting your understanding and, therefore, to you they are rejecting the filiality, family of God aspect. Even so, there are ways that you can tear down the wall rather than to allow the status quo or to allow the wall to raise up between you.
You might not attain the goal that you had in mind, but if you have fellowship and have nurtured the moment with honest heart-felt good cheer, affection, tolerance and so forth, you have registered On High that you are experiencing your temporary setback as a result of your unselfish devotion to the cause of opting to share God with others, so that they will know the joy you would share with them.
It is like the lesson about being misunderstood, and it never seemed to bother Jesus whether he was understood or not, but it bothers mortals tremendously! They want to be understood; they want to make their point; they want to have their words heard and felt and responded to, ideally, in a way that is fruitful, and when this is not forthcoming, when they don’t understand your motives, when they do fear you and the gifts that you bring as well as the challenges that you present, they balk. And their only known recourse is to put you down or reject you, which is easier than rejecting God himself. But in-as-much as you are God’s child and in-as-much as “that which you do to the least of your brethren, you have done unto me” . …[UB 155:3.4]
Mrs. Ml: You might say, “Well, you might not like what I just said, but God likes it! ”
Elizabeth: That’s a good one! That might make this person become even more discombopulated! Scare the wits out of this person! Evidently this person is quite frightened of this encounter with God and so, as Tomas said, it takes recourse in striking back at Theresa. But that’s an interesting observation.
Mrs. Ml: How about, “Well, God, I’m finished with that one. How about the next one?” (Group laughter)
Hunnah: A good practice session.
Dissemination
TOMAS: In spreading the good news, you have heard it said to not let the right hand know what the left hand is doing, for if you are setting out to consciously plant a seed or save a soul or convert a heathen or whatever, you are going with an ulterior motive into your arena. If you go with love, and a desire to share your inner life with them, your avenue will be more open, for you will not run upon the hidden agenda of conversion, which is a stumbling block for so many.
As you live the gospel, as you re-sound its harmonious toll in your life, in your voice, in your actions, in your attitudes, you are preaching and teaching the gospel. In time, you will have established yourself so that you may have intimate discourse with others. Praise God, the living God. Make reference to those things that are familiar. Do not try to add boulders onto the shoulders of little ones who can only carry pebbles. Strengthen that in them that which is good and true, and spoon feed them little pieces of divinity. Chew on them with your siblings.
Ponder them over, as if to say, “I heard this. I wonder what you think. What is your opinion?” Of course, you may get the oaf who looks at you dumbly and says something rude, in which case you have lost no time moving along. But remember, you have established yourself in the life of this individual by setting aside –in unselfish devotion — time to think about and pray for and ponder the welfare of this child of God before you. It is not a stranger. He is not a stranger if you have invested in him in prayer.
It is necessary to develop spiritual stamina if you are going to be active in the field, and since you are already active in the field, my girl, it is a simple matter of adapting your already excellent techniques to a broader range of circumference to broaden your arena, for your harmonious bell tolls clear, and as it tolls clearer from the height of truth, beauty, and goodness, it will echo throughout the valley below. The Spirit of Truth will enable you to teach and preach gladly, and so fear not. I am eager also to greet others.
Hunnah: May I give a report?
TOMAS: Briefly. (Group laughter)
Hunnah: I will make it brief because you’ve answered something for me. I’ve come across some information that I felt dovetailed with your talk on character, and I was considering investing in the tapes so that others might be able to hear them in the privacy — because people frequently do well privately for their introspection. If you have it at a group, it doesn’t have the same impact. And then something happened tonight.
It was a conversation between Gerdean and I that made me suspect that I was still just being aggressive with a particular individual and coming at them from another direction, and I felt, “Well, there goes that idea!” and then you just emphasized expanding your arena, and the tapes might be for someone else and not just the person that I’m concerned about. And so I’m going to go ahead and do it. And if I get booted for it, my intentions were good and I’m going to run with it. As they say.
TOMAS: In approaching that entire thing through unselfish devotion, I would only caution you to make certain that the interest charges are not late. (Silence) That was a bit of humor.
Hunnah: I missed that. We’ll work on that. Well, it might be for someone who I have no idea who it’s for, so I’ll go ahead.
TOMAS: Are you certain it’s necessary to make the purchase, since the point has been made, the truth has been planted in your heart, and you are a great revealer, and now you are eagerly expanding your arena. I question the need to make the purchase at all. Especially since you have now acknowledged your hidden agenda and found it not necessary. Both you and Theresa have saved yourself great steps this evening by acknowledging your true motive and going for it and acknowledging it honestly.
It is not wrong to want to introduce someone to the truth. Just ‘fess up to it and don’t try to come around the side door. If they are not hearing you, go down the road a piece and sing a song. Like the pied piper, they may find they enjoy the tune so much, they will follow you anyway.
Hunnah: You’ve given me something to think about. Thank you.
TOMAS: You are welcome.
Hunnah: The line, “and the government shall be upon his shoulders,” just came to my attention.
TOMAS: Shalimar?
Shalimar: I was thinking,
TOMAS: You are quiet this evening.
Shalimar: (something about her daughter) between taking action that would be probably dramatic and praying for this person. Let’s put it this way, I’ve turned to praying for the person (indistinguishable). This person is causing a lot of [havoc havok]. How long should you wait? How patient can you be if other people are being damaged? When you know that they’re a very disturbed person.
TOMAS: I cannot counsel you under these circumstances. I would counsel you only to continue to pray, that is, to spend time in stillness ascertaining as best you can the clarity of the personalities involved, their motives and intentions as best you can see, and ask that God oversee and intercede if necessary. I cannot even suggest, from here, what you might do about it in terms of your social discourse or dramatization.
Shalimar: I have been doing that and I have been getting –well, the one day I just got in my car. I did spend a couple hours writing and I was tempted to give it to this person but I didn’t. I read it to some other people involved, but I think I got a flood of information with the idea that I have to write it down and try to make sense out of some things.
TOMAS: If it is so ponderous as to weigh you down entirely, perhaps you are investing too much devotion in one area, and a review of your more supernal devotions would give you better perspective.
Shalimar: I’m trying not to be involved in it, but . .. it’s coming to a head, let’s put it that way, and I do. I ask for it everyday — what’s the Father’s will for me. That’s all. But my own child is not just emotionally ill, but is physically ill because of this. So, it’s not easy to just let it linger.
TOMAS: Elizabeth, my dear, I have not heard much from you this evening.
Tradition
Elizabeth: I’ve been really enjoying tapping in on others here. I really feel good about some of the things you told Theresa. I really feel that I can use some of that. Theresa is much more gentle than I am, so people don’t seem to be too overt about putting me down, but I still have my own kinds of struggles as you know. And you know that I lapsed into fear on Sunday and I was afraid . .. I was afraid. Yes, that was that fear that you were talking about.
I was teaching my little class and I was very angry that these people are trying to make these beautiful children pray in a way that I found very objectionable. And the woman that I’m teaching with is one of these fundamentalists and I was so afraid that she was going to find out how I feel about some of these things. I was afraid and so I overreacted and . .. we didn’t agree, and it was amicable, but if I just hadn’t been so afraid that I would say too much, because if I ever begin to say all the things that I feel, I would not be able to be there and do what I think I’m doing, which is to help these children not have all this misery placed upon them, these innocent children! I was one of these fundamentalists myself, so I suppose I’m even much harder on them in my mind, but I was in fear and I thought about that.
TOMAS: I am glad you told me. I am glad that you shared that with all of us. It is too bad that you hide your grand light under this bushel. It is unconscionable that a woman of your dynamism should so camouflage your own enlightenment. You were afraid that these people would find that you were an enlightened woman! and what? stone you? banish you from their coven?
Elizabeth: They wouldn’t let me do what I’m devoted to doing. It is a tiny slice of my life that I think of as being somewhat of a selfless devotion. I know that I can serve in a real way in that capacity, but if I were to be totally frank, I would simply not be allowed to be in that capacity, and so I try to be honest in the sense that I’m not going to teach them anything that their parents would find troublesome, but I do want to not teach them these terribly negative things that I feel are full of misery words like “blood”, “death”, “crucifixion.”
These children are eleven years old. They have to say that they are . .. Wait a minute! I brought it! I wanted to share it with everybody. “What is your only comfort as a Christian?” “That I body and soul and life and death belong to Jesus Christ.” “What must you know to have this comfort?” First, how I sin every day against God and my neighbor. Second, how Jesus saves me from my sin. Third, how I can share my thanks.” “How do you know you are a sinner? Because I do not love my neighbor as myself.” “Why don’t you do what God wants?” “Because I naturally sin.”
TOMAS: Whose answers are they?
Elizabeth: This is the child’s version of the Heidelberg confession, and I have this in my Sunday School kit and I don’t have to teach this. There’s too much material there. They just say, “Pick out what you think of as helpful” and so I was planning to do this but I lost my cool because of my partner there, because she wanted them to learn one of these horrible memory verses. So, it was because I was in fear. That’s probably what it was. And so I managed last year to get through the whole year and just saying the positive things, but because this woman is this fundamentalist beyond description . …
TOMAS: Is it necessary that she hang with you constantly?
Elizabeth: No, no. Hopefully she’ll maybe just teach when I’m not there. Hopefully. I’d love to have that happen.
TOMAS: These youngsters are certainly old enough to be learning real truths, such as what is sin, evil and iniquity. There is nothing wrong in giving a substantial lesson to a young person. They can handle it. But I agree with you that to teach a child error is error. Good for you.
Elizabeth: Thank you. I would like to have more faith and not fear in my situation.
TOMAS: It is through unselfish devotion to your Father in heaven and the pure truth, beauty, and goodness of His divine love (that) He loves his children. He did not send His son to die for their sins, and so on and so on. You know the revelation. You know the good news. You have been called to be an apostle. It is not time now to compromise truth, especially with the young ones who still have a chance to formulate an eager mind about spiritual matters.
Elizabeth: I do have a plan, but I was taken aback a little bit, maybe by surprise because of the very strict fundamentalism of the people around me. I didn’t expect it to be quite so intense and so, in a sense, the surprise was one of the reasons why I didn’t handle it as well as I could have. I think that’s what’s bothering me. I didn’t handle it very well.
The woman I’m teaching with has a very beautiful faith. Like what you said, if I’m not mistaken, and she really does love children very much. She’s a very fine person.
TOMAS: It is well to approach each one individually and I will not split hairs here, but remember that it was those who were so staunchly committed to the traditional ways of spirituality that would not allow for the truth of Jesus’ teachings that ended up getting Jerusalem destroyed and the Lord crucified.
(End of tape; balance of session “off the record.”)
