1999-09-28-Counsel On Anger
Butler PA #70
• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Counsel on Anger
o 1.2 Group: Butler TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Tomas
o 2.2 TR: Gerdean
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Dialogue
o 3.2 Closing
Topic: Counsel on Anger
Group: Butler TeaM
THOROAH: I have one more thing. I’ve been trying for some time to deal with anger. I find myself getting angry over the most mundane things and the larger things don’t seem to affect me that way. Gerdean and I were talking about that on our way to Michigan. She suggested that that would be something that my personal teacher, Girard, would help me with, and I’ve been trying to pin-point, go back and find what it might be that is triggering some of these rocks into the hornets nest activities of mine, because I know it is detrimental on a lot of levels for me, and I really would like to get to the bottom of it and deal with it.
TOMAS: Thank you, my son, for bringing your personal concerns to my attention, and for our understanding and potential resolution of a problem which gives you discomfort and, given the nature of the problem you report, no doubt gives relative discomfort to others as well. Without going into your psyche, as is appropriate for your personal teacher, I would suggest that possibly you have developed a habit.
Anger can be a mere habit which has been effective in getting certain things accomplished, much like a child will hold its breath in order to get its way, or a petulant wife might pout and sulk in order to gain favor. It is an emotion which, if unfounded, is very likely a behavioral pattern developed from trial and error, cause and effect, which has proven effective in the past and which no longer serves.
If you were able to admit to anger on a deeper and more meaningful level, then perhaps you would be willing to wend your way into the origin of the anger, but if, as you say, it is insidious and unfounded, it is very likely a behavior pattern you have picked up and clung to in order to get results. You might consider that in your reflections.
THOROAH: Yes, I’ve investigated some of my motivations. I’ve thought of the fact that — maybe I’m getting into the psyche a little bit, but — I do think you are correct on the habit idea, because I don’t like being made a fool. Sometimes when I perceive that process happening, it makes me angry. I also have a problem sometimes when I feel I’m not getting respect, and as I mentioned to Gerdean over the weekend, sometimes I think of it as the only way I can make myself understood, so those things seem to fit with what you are saying.
TOMAS: : Those are bellicose techniques that are relegated to the elemental levels of courage, in getting the animal needs met, but having now risen to a realm where you may philosophize and think, it would behoove you to realize that you are able to communicate your concerns effectively to others and thus your needs are more likely to be met and they, your adversary, are more likely to be drawn into an understanding of the relationship and their part in it. I wish you well in your study of your behavior pattern, which, if not serious, is certainly nuisance.
TOMAS: : It undermines your own sense of control over your own emotions and therefore you make the greater fool of yourself!
THOROAH: You’ve been there and witnessed, evidently.
TOMAS: : I’ve been there and done that, as they say.
THOROAH: Those words given to us this weekend, “confidence, serenity and security”, came to mind when you were describing the bellicose and the petulance and everything else, and maybe the application of a sense of my own confidence I wouldn’t have to be bellicose and if I were serene I wouldn’t have to be riled, and if I were secure I wouldn’t have to be petulant.
TOMAS: : Yes, of course, and you are wise to assimilate these points and incorporate them into your pattern of understanding your own behavior for your own correction, yes. You will come to be even more conscious of your self and the ease with which you handle life’s rudimentary circumstances, and you can truly say “the yoke is easy, the burden is light.” There is no need for you to carry around unworthy distresses or behaviors which cling to your ankles and hold you back when you, as a free will agent, are in a position of helping yourself mold your own character. Remember who your boss is.
THOROAH: Thank you, Tomas.
TOMAS: : Thank you, Thoroah. I am very fond of you and Gerdean and very honored indeed to have this association. It is a joy to be back in your steadfast company and to observe your evolution, to hear from Gorman the details of your more mercantile ventures.
THOROAH: I like that terminology.
TOMAS: : My peace and affection I leave with you as I excuse myself from your presence this evening in order that I and you may proceed along the path of least resistance. Amen and farewell.
THOROAH: Good night, Tomas.