2010-07-04-Investment & Detachment-Dialogue 22
Long View #22
• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Investment and Detachment
o 1.2 Group: Long View Project
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Esu
o 2.2 TR: LVP
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Dialogue
o 3.2 Closing
Topic: Investment and Detachment
Group: Long View Project
LVP: We’ve been considering this dialogue for a few days; You wanting to wait a bit, me keeping you waiting today with the busyness of closing out a few tasks. I feel presumptuous setting my own schedule with You yet I know You are there when I open the door and I trust I am here for You in the same manner.
ESU: “No worries” as your island friends like to say. I’m not waiting around tapping My Big Foot while you put your tasks in order and sit for the Dialogue. In the space I occupy time and dimension are quite different then the perception available to you within the limits of human consciousness. I am linked to you more in the fashion of your internet, which is about millions of connections at once and when you activate your wireless here I am!
LVP: Thanks brother. It helps me to be grounded with you in my humanness while appreciating the larger scope of Your perception.
ESU: Let’s get on with the topic at hand. We discussed this morning the importance of balance between investment and detachment. Does this remain a good starting point for you?
LVP: Yes, by all means. The subset of this topic will be degrees of loyalty, disinterestedness, betrayal, etc, but let’s start with balance in the way You describe.
ESU: Balance is a topic We will return to time and again in our Dialogues. It is the most aberrant lack in human performance these days, evident by the gross imbalance in every area of endeavor from economics to international relations, environmental destruction to child abuse, human trafficking and all sorts of dysfunctional relationships.
However, for our purposes today We are looking at the balance between investment and detachment in a personal sense. Every endeavor you set out upon requires careful thought, often missing in proportion or altogether, about what is the appropriate amount of personal investment you should or should not put into another person, to an idea, to a group, to an individual ambition or to a collective endeavor. You may think it noble to be 100% about whatever you do but what does that mean?
LVP: I enjoy a 100% commitment because it allows me to be fully focused on whatever I’m about.
ESU: And how has that worked for you?
LVP: Not too good! It feels good for a time but the 100% focus on one thing excludes many other facets of my world or even other facets of whatever I am 100% focused upon so that 100% ends up being a rather myopic view!
ESU: Exactly. You may look at any subject under a microscope to advantage, but only for so long and with the understanding that the kind of close up precision the microscope provides excludes the bigger picture in which the subject is contained.
The recent dust up in regard to misplaced loyalties and resultant misunderstandings on the internet are opportunity to examine behavior in this light. Where there is too much investment and too little detachment there is often a resultant disappointment and the possibility for the experience or feeling of betrayal. Giving yourself to excess in regard to another individual or creative opportunity is a sure way to see the opportunity come to naught and in the worst case may result in the very opposite of what you originally intended.
Too much detachment and too little investment provides insufficient energy to “prime the pump” in a creative sense, does not allow enough personal fuel in the ignition of what you may intend for there to be true creative fire. Detachment may be a way of protecting oneself, preventing the betrayal and loss of over-commitment, but never tried may mean never tested with little to show but cool demeanor and little in the way of creative energy or output.
In the case in point an individual was given an unusual amount of trust and support and has appeared to fail in regard to that measure. His personality and belief structure appear to have been insufficient to accommodate the questioning put before him and the requirements that he may have sensed in regard to the questions so that his recourse was to fall back on belief, on the familiar structures he has used to support his consciousness in mediating this difficult and opaque world.
LVP: I brought the power of my personal No to this experience and felt comfortable in that stance initially but the more I allowed the event to sink in something else began to surface.
ESU: Perhaps you should say whether or not your later realizations invalidated your initial position.
LVP: No (he said redundantly!), I continue to feel correct in my reaction and setting my sword before an expression that I felt was underhanded and untrue. However, in that No, something else began to bubble up which pertained more to me than the person in question.
ESU: So the No experience allowed you to go deeper within yourself?
LVP: Yes, the boundary in a sense freed me to look behind my own position and consider my life story and how I failed in my own commission at one point in my life.
ESU: It might be helpful if you outlined that in general terms, without the drama!
LVP: The mention that the man in question was going to go through a period of “relearning,” in isolation from his celestial counsel, reminded me of a sequence in my life which seemed to fall into seven year periods. I spent seven years in discovery of a spiritual path, seven years in the flowering of it, seven years in becoming undone, then seven years in relearning, a time of isolation and loneliness but also of new beginnings.
ESU: So in regard to the person who may have dropped the ball in regard to his responsibilities, you began to identify with him and find a commonality?
LVP: Yes, with the understanding that although I may need to exercise the power of No in regard to this man’s expression, that doesn’t make me superior or him inferior. There but for fortune it is said, and the man who may be in the gutter today is not so distant from me that the hand of my compassion may not be extended.
ESU: In regard to your fall from grace, if I can use those terms because as you know I am very familiar with the details of those periods in your life, you found the loss you experienced then very painful, almost unbearably so to your sense of integrity and mission?
LVP: Yes, not to the point of being suicidal or overly self destructive, but certainly with the feeling that I had broken trust and allowed my ego and desire to get in the way of what I truly loved.
ESU: Could it not be said that what you experienced then was a form of imbalance, in that the group you were committed to at the time, the marriage that you had formed, the mission you had taken on, were out of kilter in terms of investment and detachment? You were so intent upon the 100% all or nothing aspect of your nature that the more detached abilities to survey the field and consider consequences and proper scale of investment were lost or deterred?
LVP: Yes, from my perspective now I can see that very clearly.
ESU: Also subsequently, Christ Michael in your many communions has helped you to see that this experience, as so many others, were your attempts, however questionable, to break out of the molds and structures confining your spirit, allowing your soul to expand in new discovery, allow your heart to open to the greater feeling that is your truest desire and above all to find the mission and purpose that is really yours and not the assemblage of a group or organized dogma.
LVP: All of this is true.
ESU: And I will add that in the most poignant cycle of loss, when you felt that there was nothing left but the miserable outcome of what you had defiled, you found your deepest connection with Gaia who provided the space for your healing, and slowly, yet most assuredly, your path led you to new relationship with a beautiful and understanding woman, a new and vital career, many new opportunities for opening your creative abilities through poetry and essay writing, and above all one most surprising and illuminating day the voice of Christ Michael returning to you, inviting you to reengage the spiritual mission you felt lost and buried.
LVP: It was a day in the Green River canyon when I had stood before the ancient stones and poured out both my grief and love for the earth and for my grandmother on my mother’s side as I sat in one of the oldest places in the Earth body.
ESU: And as you rounded a bend in the river that day your Inner Voice became activated in a way that was undeniable, almost “knocked you over” as you say, and stayed with you for several hours describing a forward path to which you were called if you would so choose.
LVP: It was an undeniable experience and one that I treasure.
ESU: But as that experience developed, nine years ago now almost to this day, you were very careful to balance your investment with detachment, applying your energy in the most careful manner, keeping your counsel to yourself about what you had heard, what you intended, as well as being very careful in each step of commitment you would take, as Christ Michael, and Me as you now know, urged you on, comforted your distress at feeling mentally imbalanced, allowed for all your feelings of inadequacy and where to start, as you fashioned the path which led you to this very Dialogue.
LVP: Yes Esu, to this very moment.
ESU: What I am acknowledging in this is the power of taking the opportunities of experience at depth as you did and not resigning oneself to defeat because of a set-back or sense of failure. The man who has appeared to fail in his commission will have a similar opportunity now. He is entering a period of relearning, one that will feel every bit as devastating and lonely as the desert of experience you encountered, but he is a man of spirit, of mission, his life speaks to that in countless ways, and he will find himself through what is before him clearer and stronger in his union with Source than ever before. This time could well assure his mission and purpose and allow all that he has intended and more.
LVP: These are cycles you are saying Esu, and I so appreciate this. As I look out however, counting my sevens, I had another seven of new discovery after the time of relearning, and two years now of flowering again in understanding and expression of purpose. If the cycle continues I can look forward to five more years of flowering but I’m not looking forward to another seven years of being undone let alone relearning!
ESU: Understanding the cyclical nature of experience doesn’t require that you follow in the old ruts. As you continue to mature and evolve in your spiritual understanding, giving expression to all that you’ve learned and become, the characterization of the seven year cycle when this present one completes may be entirely different! You may find a fulfillment and new path greater than any you have imagined. And if not, if you stumble and fall, you will know that even in that your investment and detachment must be balanced, that perhaps you have invested too much and must learn to retract or detached too much and learn to reengage. These are the lessons of one lifetime, but also the lessons of a multitude of lifetimes, the journey of a soul to union with Creator, and on that journey we are brothers forever.
LVP: Thank you Esu. I think this will provide so much as it stands now, and so if you are in agreement we may close.
ESU: Yes, we may close, but I would like you to add your poem capturing your vision this morning. The poetic language inspires and opens the heart and I would like that to provide both closure and new beginning for all who read these words.
This is the Moment
The wind is cold on rock point
gulls cry out in aloneness
crows bark protecting their young fledges
as eagle rides the mountain thermals.
It’s warmer in the cabin, easier
to drink tea within the comfort
than out here where the air bites
and grey cold presses down.
She’s found Herself
emerged from Her chrysalis;
I see Her moving upon the water
lifting with the gusts
that blow the rushing tide.
I will be known in this place
my life force dropping into bedrock
reaching out to the occasional seal
and rippled water stretching in the distance.
Long bronze grasses bend in the wind
the sun breaks from a mass of clouds;
She is awake in Her subtle movement;
this is the moment I am living for!
ESU: Indeed this is the moment, and there are many such moments, and days, and years before us. The Son breaks through the clouds and She is awake. This is the moment!
LVP: Thank you Esu. Until next time…