• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Personal Creativity
o 1.2 Group: Marin TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Nebadonia
o 2.2 TR: JL
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Opening
o 3.2 Dialogue
3.2.2 Human Condition
Topic: Personal Creativity
Group: Marin TeaM
Dear Mother Spirit and Michael, We do our journey–we gather together partly for each other’s company and to share in this fun and exciting quest for truth and understanding, but also to literally fulfill our faith in the two of you. We keep our trust and our faith in the ability and faithfulness you two show us in return. So we do our best to open our minds and open our hearts in a very non-judgmental kind of way to entertain, to really ride along with what you have to offer us. We thank you for helping us in this appreciation of your many lessons all along: that our Father lays out a whole world and then a whole universe for us to explore. All he asks of us is our appreciation for this life. So we do; and we thank the two of you so much. Amen.
NEBADONIA: Well, my faithful sons, I bid you a hearty good evening. This is your Mother Spirit–Nebadonia. So: let me pick up the reins you’ve passed over and get this vehicle of inter-dimensional conversation going. It is fun and rewarding to talk across the different perspectives we have as personal beings. It’s this ability to share what we have and what we are that is truly one of our Father’s great gifts. And like all of his greatest gifts, it calls upon us to contribute our share, to do our part to carry along that which we can contribute.
This in turn depends upon his having given us also such a full measure of his creativity. For without this, if we were just some kind of automatic automatons, just purely reactive mechanisms of some sort, we would have no way of bringing anything of our own to our meetings with each other. We could only mirror, and even then as best we could, what is brought to us, for as Michael pointed out in his last lesson: for all of us, even Michael and me, reality is constantly coming towards us.
As we’ve taught so many times, the universe is not only this continuing reality that can be utterly depended upon because it is impersonal–all the configurations of impersonal energy and material. Even this is to a human being another infinity, another bottomless realm of Natural Law that you can–and you will!–explore forever and never reach the end of. Reality is equally the creative acts of all the personal beings in existence, right from the Architects of the Master Universe, the Ancients of Days at the heads of the Superuniverses, all the way down to you, another personal being with a creative spirit.
And so you are not only a receiver of a kind of surrounding reality–whatever your situation is: you are a participant. There’s no way of avoiding this. No matter how shy and retiring you might wish to be–even a refusal to get involved, if you want to think of it that way: what could be more determining on the life you have? You all know of those poor individuals who, upon having their apartment building torn down, are suddenly discovered to have never left their dwelling place for maybe twenty or thirty years. So it seems that, for some, this is no choice. This is the epitome of the inability to choose, the utter lack of any personal freedom–just to live a whole life so cooped up in one’s own reality that even those items that come to fill their small apartment are only a reflection of them.
And so, so many of our lessons have been to give you a feeling of this personality you are, what it is to be a personal being as contrasted to the impersonal reality you’re caught up in–all the energies and the materials surrounding you, even making up your own living body. As your Urantia book puts it: life is not only what is happening inside you, inside this living body and mind you have, it’s what takes place between the organism that you are and your situation, this Encompassing, we call it, that surrounds you. It is not only physical and mental–your psychology and how you’re taking it, but spiritual as well. You’ve all the personal beings surrounding you, not only your human order but the dozens of orders of personal beings here on Urantia. They are part of your Encompassing.
What is holding you?
It’s partly what’s holding you. And this is God’s will, my children. He is the essence that precedes existence, and it is an enormous shift of your mind, of your outlook, of your attitude, your willingness and your ability to relate with this Encompassing that holds you, to realize that all positive qualities of life were originally created by God, all the hundreds of positive qualities that you can enjoy listing. All of these have their origin in him. And then, as shadows cast across this light, this living energy coming from our Father, are all the countless choices and decisions of his children that he has endowed with free will, giving them the ability then to, right out of themselves, come up with something that in many cases is definitely not his will.
This can extend from simple mistakes–because his children are created imperfect and immature, as babes who have to grow into all that they will possess some day in their souls–to deliberately getting some thrill, some inner enjoyment, some inner satisfaction in doing what is consciously recognized as the wrong thing. It’s the fun of sinning, if you will, the fun of being bad. And this in itself can extend from the most harmless little habits that are not all that destructive or unhealthy, all the way to the truly obscene iniquity that you call sadism, the deliberately hurting someone else for enjoyment. As you know in your recent history this iniquity has carried all the way to the highest levels of whole nation-states that ended up literally torturing millions of people to death in the most deliberately arbitrary fashion for the sheer terror of it all.
So this freewill-ness of personal beings forms such a large part of this Encompassing in which you live. You are truly a member of the human family and, just as in your smaller families of a mother and father and several children, the whole family experiences both the joys and sorrows of each other’s individual choices. And so in this way, my children, you can see how, though you live in different proportions of what you might consider spheres of living–your inner life; your family’s immediate situation; your national and international life and relationships; for you as a personal being they are all interrelated because you are essentially a spiritual being. You yourself both give and find value in all that you encounter, and all that you originate. This is the incessant co-creativity of yours, and it is truly the hallmark of your wisdom, or some sad lack of it.
This is the co-creativity of personality that has its very origin in, and is so much a part of, you; so much an unconscious projection. For it is truly hard for you to keep in mind that a large part of this Encompassing that seems to be so much other-than-you–even the very material room you’re in at this moment: so much of this Encompassing is you; is your take on it. Yet this is where your freedom–your experience and your realization of your freedom lies.
For those who have no concept even, let alone a realization of their own creativity, they live the self-fulfilling prophecy of their own life’s philosophy; if you will, of being helpless pawns and always in someone else’s chess game. Everything that happens to them: it’s always someone, or some thing, other than them that’s at fault. So they’re, as you say, behind the curve. They’re purely reactionary, merely reacting to what is coming at them. Yet because they are creative, they are creating–I should say co-creating–this situation blindly and unconsciously, it’s real. It is real for them. The suffering is real, and the only way out of this suffering lies in taking the initiative.
So many need courage to do something, something right out of themselves, finding even the least little bit of trust in themselves–to do that something, to make that creative movement. But even here, my children, there’s nothing in this realm, what you might say, absolute. Every human being that lives exists somewhere along this continuum from being some totally helpless pawn to being some, what you might think of as a fully realized, creative person who lives within this self-knowledge and awareness. It is how much he or she is contributing to and responsible for all that is happening to them.
So you wonder where you are along this continuum of literally taking responsibility for your own sense of freedom, or lack of it. Where do you start? For you are a continuing, ongoing organism, a living being who is, as Michael noted in his last lesson, literally standing upon and moving along on a whole lifetime’s learned abilities, so many of which are relegated to unconsciousness. This is how you can do all the amazing things you do. You’ve learned how to do them automatically. So to a degree, my children, you are an automaton. You are a kind of mechanical person, in a way, for all your successes, for all you’ve learned how to do, all these skills and your consciousness of the next thing.
This is the supreme irony of stillness, how, by surrendering all this busyness, all this ability you have to go about your daily life, you willfully choose then to do a kind of nothing and just purely observe what-all is happening, what-all you are, when you relinquish any particular kind of activity except this one: just sitting still and paying respect to all that you still are, being still. Here is where you rediscover life itself, just living, that home base of spirit that you not only take for granted, but almost need to take for granted to live the lives you do.
Yet here, my children, is where your appreciation for our Father’s gift of you, this creation of his that you are, can be most appreciated, experienced, felt, realized. This is the respect you can pay to him and to us for your very existence. It is by, if you will, paying attention to existing. It’s like coming home every morning before you start out and leave this home to go out and do all those things you do. It gives you some way of evaluating whether or not: even to do them. For good stillness does not itself become a mere habit. It’s a way of breaking habituation. It’s a way of coming awake, rousing yourself out of your pastoral stupor and marveling once again at this dawn, this morning, and bringing into consciousness not only what you have been doing, but perhaps what you should do.
This is that dimension of morality you’re capable of sustaining. It’s one way of welcoming this dimension into your consciousness and accepting, somewhat at least, what at first will appear to be a burden of wondering: what’s the best thing to do next? Though it may seem a burden at first, this is what leads you to health. This is what leads you to strength. This is what leads you to happiness because the best way is our Father’s way. And he is right inside you to make that suggestion. This is one way to be open, to be able to have that thought and have the courage to entertain it whether you can do it or not. This is where your freedom lies, your ability to choose lies: in your recognition of a viable alternative.
Again, my children, these are suggestions that Michael and I can give you. From our point of view the world needs this more than anything else, this ability of all the individual folks, each individual, helping themselves to find the best thing to do next, and not only for themselves but for the human family.
This, to a degree, is happening. This is that spiritual glow we are able to perceive. This is that creativity that each individual personal being is involved in, whether they know it or not. But to bring it into consciousness, to consciously realize all that they are: this is the growth. This is that inexorable evolution of both the individual and the whole. So have faith in this creativity of yours. Settle down and be still from time to time just to feel it operating, just to take responsibility then for all that you are–part of this very Encompassing that holds you. It is also here that you find Michael, and me, and our Father. We have our own suggestions of what might be the best thing for you to do next.
Now if you have any questions or comments, those are fun too.
Student: Yes, thank you, Mother, for tonight’s discussion. Is there ever a time when one pushes the envelope, just tired of living the same way? I feel my creativeness is not being truly expressed, and I find I’m really tired and sore after almost thirty years of hard landscaping work for a lot of people I get along fine with; and I’ve always taken care of my family. But I feel resistance to being more creative and not thinking about money and all, but just changing, pushing the envelope.
The price of being free
NEBADONIA: Yes, my son. This is part of the price, if you will, that you pay for being free. It puts you back upon yourself. You can be almost too aware–I say almost because there is no way really of being too aware of your own freedom, and that your life day to day is so much in your own hands. For this leads to the quandary you are in.
This is especially acute when you are going along, as you say, fairly well. You have a good relationship with people. You have a fulfilling vocation dealing with living things. Yet there’s still this kind of a gnawing impatience to be getting on with something bigger. My son, that is just the price you pay for the very freedom to be able to do this. So it’s accepting, then, your free time and what you do with it. It’s how you, if you want to move out of your vocation and into something less physically demanding, you bring all your creative abilities to focus then on that.
Truly open yourself to wondering: what all can you do? What are you capable of? What are your interests? What appeals to you? Is there any money in it, for you are a responsible economic person. You do have this intrinsic value of taking care of yourself and those you love. You can open yourself to ask of us, ask of your Father, for any ideas. But then you should know all too well, perhaps: it’s up to you then to step off because, as we’ve said so many times, you are not God, you cannot see the end from the beginning. There’s always a matter of faith and courage and trust involved in starting something new. So at the same time I congratulate you on this feeling of wanting to do more, accepting that you need to grow and keep growing.
Student: I can see where it’s easy to get stuck being an automaton because I feel stuck myself. I’ve read and listened to spiritual leaders for years, and I just wonder when all that spiritual work is going to pay off. I’ve prayed and meditated about stepping off, but it’s like: where do I start? I’m loyal to my clients so I can’t give them up.
NEBADONIA: And, my son, that’s why I said that what you are feeling is a necessary adjunct to the very freedom you have. To be free you have to…part of being free is this feeling perhaps of not being quite yet fulfilled, because you do have all eternity ahead of you. It is partly a bringing into consciousness then, at one and the same time, the feeling that you are complete–there’s nothing that you are missing, yet at the same time you are still somewhat immature and imperfect. There’s still a long ways to go; forever–actually. There’s more to learn; there’s more to experience; and to keep this in mind and not be too abraded by it.
The dimension of morality
It’s a matter of balance here, a matter of proportion. It’s what I meant tonight about seeking God’s will, seeking what is the best thing to do. Day by day trying to start again brings a whole dimension of morality and of, now, constantly, consciously weighing what is right, what is better, what is best. Accepting that into your life consciously can seem like a burden at first because it can never be, shall we say, completely fulfilled. Yet it does point the way to better health, to greater freedom. So in that sense it’s the price you pay–this disquiet, if you will, this realization that you’re not perfect yet, that you do have a long way to go. You do have to keep stepping off into new stuff, because here it comes. It’s coming at you, even that Big Change some day in which you give up this whole realm as you know it and awaken on a far distant world, another kind of being.
Student: You’ve mentioned how we are not perfect, but when we go into stillness are we not aligning ourselves with that perfection inside which is expanding and growing?
NEBADONIA: Yes, my son, you’ve put your finger right on it. The Thought Adjuster, the presence of God within you is living perfection, but your personality is just starting out here. It’s just gaining a soul wealth of abilities. So in this sense you are capable of being more perfect; and forever. This is synonymous with what you call growth. We call you imperfect and immature because you are capable of growing, and this is, as you know, the whole purpose of free will. Personal beings are capable of this growth only because they have free will, because they are themselves creative beings that can originate things right out of themselves, and try them. This is an adventure. You as an immature, imperfect being cannot see the end from the beginning, and so it does require a kind of courage; but that is the creation then, of courage. This is where it comes from.
Student: So when Jesus died on the cross, that was the extreme act of faith; that was the ultimate stepping off.
NEBADONIA: Well, your free will, my son, means that the extreme of free will is choosing to be so iniquitous, delighting so in departing from God’s will, that you literally take yourself out of reality to the point of ceasing to exist. So in this sense, yes, God’s will, will always obtain in the whole, but how it obtains in each individual to such a degree depends on them. It’s the very fact that you can choose to cease to exist; the fact that a being can perform the most obscene cruelty they can imagine. You’ve had so many instances even in recent times of different factions competing for who could terrorize each other more–a kind of competition! This is reality. This is what is capable of happening. It brings you right back to yourself over and over again to realize just what you are choosing to do with the potential given you.
Student: Then this is stepping off. If I allow myself to truly grow and expand and evolve, I know I would be a better person to those around me. That’s what I want to do, to step off and grow.
NEBADONIA: Yes, my son, that is the wonderful quality of sharing. It is the very essence of the divine: that God, out of a desire to share his being, does so with a nigh infinity of relatively autonomous personal beings out here running around, each with their own free, creative spirit. And so: yes, the more you are capable of doing and sharing, the more you are demonstrating to others what is possible in this human state of yours and theirs.
Student: I am aware that there is a fine line between altruism and ego. I’m really aware of that.
NEBADONIA: Well, that’s the marvelous blessing of self-forgetfulness. You have to pity the poor egomaniac who is so concentrated, so self-centered and so focused upon himself or herself, that they cannot begin to realize all that they are. So it’s a wonderful irony that only by giving yourself away and by switching your focus and your interests and your curiosity and your reward to others, that you can then know this enormous blessing of God’s–the uniqueness of all those out there. Every single one of them can get to be this wealth in your soul–by forgetting yourself.
Ironies and paradoxes, and love
So thank you for the good conversation this evening. There are some true ironies and seeming paradoxes that occur to everyone. They are part of the human condition and it takes a lot of living to get a feeling of them, of their totality. It takes a certain amount of faith to step off, to experiment, to welcome the adventures that are going to come anyway. It’s embracing the inevitable, while at the same time questioning every last little iota of it. Just how inevitable is this? What choice do I have?
It’s the essence of being a living being. Then too that’s the wonder and the value of growing a soul, of having the adventure right within. So be of good cheer. Keep that open-mindedness. Keep being willing to pay the price, if you will, to be open, to be free, to keep wondering in all humility: what is the best thing to do next?
And be in my love. Good evening.