2000-01-14-Grief & Grieving
Post Falls #1
• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Grief & Grieving
o 1.2 Group: Post Falls TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Levona, Solonia
o 2.2 TR: Jill, Daniel Megow
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Opening
o 3.2 Lesson
o 3.3 Closing
Topic: Grief & Grieving
Group: Post Falls TeaM
Teacher: Levona, Solonia
TR: Jill, Daniel Megow
LEVONA: (T/R Jill): Good evening. This is Levona. I would like to begin tonight’s class with some instruction of how to make the class teachings the most beneficial for those of you who are participating. By participating I mean anyone who is reading these lessons on a regular basis. There will be times when the teachers will give you a specific assignment to be aware of something for a whole week, or to practice something for a whole week. We strongly urge you to do so because it is the practice that makes perfect, to use one of your own adages.
There may be times, however, when we do not give a specific assignment. Yet we give a concept that hopefully will provoke thought and deeper thought on your part. So the assignment, unspoken, may be to read the lesson daily and ponder it for your own personal insights. We are aware that you have set up a computer list. We would also encourage you to share your processes of thought or experiences of doing a specific assignment. In that way the education we are giving is broadened by each human perspective; and each human perspective and experience is valuable.
The topic for tonight is grief and grieving. Grief is a very heavy feeling. It is more intense than being sorrowful; more intense than being sad, and grief is associated with a human being experiencing a loss of some sort. With the best of intentions your culture has taught you to “stand tall, have a stiff upper lip, don’t cry, be strong.” Those are all good human qualities but there are times when they are not healthy. When anyone experiences a severe loss, from their perspective, the greatest gift you can give them along with your loving compassion is the OK-ness of crying, of sobbing, of telling of their grief. Grief held in never gets resolved, and that person will suffer from their loss the rest of their life; and no matter what the loss, from the universe perspective, no loss is meant to halt a person’s passion for life for the rest of their lifetime.
I would encourage all of you this week to explore whether or not you have experienced grief yet in your lifetime, and if you have, to look at the grieving process you went through. Did you honor the feelings attached to that loss, or did you bury them? Is there still some of that loss tugging at you, keeping you angry, or bitter, or feeling cheated, or feeling some other type of hurt? If there is, then now is the time to honor the rest of the pain inside. There are many ways. You may do it alone or with a partner, a friend, a family member.
I would encourage all of you this week to look at what grief means to you personally, and if there is any grief still remaining inside of you, to seek your own personal avenues to let the rest of it out. When we hold in heaviness and fill all the spaces of our consciousness and our body with that heaviness, there is no room for the Light of Love to come in and heal. So it is a necessary step to grieve until there are no more grief feelings; no more tears; for then you have opened up the space to receive your Father’s Love to have what you call “a new lease on life.” This will be a challenging assignment and I would encourage you to share your experiences on your new (computer) list. That is all for now.
SOLONIA: (T/R Daniel): Greetings dear ones. This is Solonia. I would like you to consider tonight that there are indeed different types of grief and consequently different types of grieving. The natural inclination for humans is to attribute the grieving process to instances of the death of a loved one. I would ask you to open your perspectives somewhat to stretch them to include any loss of a loved one, be it through death, through incompatibility, through changes in life focus, through changes in living situations. There is much grief in your world that is caused by family separations.
Children, being incapable of understanding adult situations and adult perspectives, are often subjected to many layers of internal grief for which they have not the tools to make adjustments. When a parent for one reason or another leaves the immediate sphere of influence of the child, it causes grief. Depending on the circumstances and the understandings of the custodial parent, this grief may be buried in the child due to exhibitions of anger, revenge, and hatred. In these instances the child is not allowed the opportunity for healthy grieving. Grieving is a necessary tool for personal compensation of loss.
Many of you have grief buried deeply within your experiences, and it is difficult for you to be willing to honestly face this grief and to observe it from a more mature perspective. I would say to you that as long as you keep this grief buried, it will continue to influence you in your decision-making process. So many times the Master said, “Fear not,” and here in particular is an instance where I would reiterate his most excellent words. You will not die from facing your griefs. You will not experience personality fragmentation from facing your griefs. And I can assure you that your world will not fall apart when you face your griefs. You must allow yourselves to go to places within that you have previously feared, for you must allow yourself to grieve before you will be able to fully heal.
Grieving is rarely something that humans will choose to do willingly. Your remembrance of grieving and the processes that it entailed can make it difficult for you to agree to going to that place again. Often some of your medicines may have a very bitter taste to them, yet they aid you in the healing process of your body. So you take them, anyway. Grieving can have a bitter taste to it also, but it is a medicine for the soul. It is a tonic that aids in healing. Take this week’s assignment seriously, my dear ones, and go to places within that you have refused to go before. Those are my words for this evening.