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SEI145- Being Gentle

2007-03-11-Being Gentle
SE Idaho #145


• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Being Gentle
o 1.2 Group: SE Idaho TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Daniel, Iruka
o 2.2 TR: Nancy, Pam
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Opening
o 3.2 Lesson
o 3.3 Dialogue
o 3.4 Closing

Topic: Being Gentle
Group: SE Idaho TeaM
Teacher: Daniel, Iruka
TR: Nancy, Pam


[Ed note: The recorder was not on during the opening prayer. The prayer was of a personal nature asking for the over-care and healing for a loved one and support for family members. The words and thoughts from Daniel are directed to not only those of us present but to all the children of God with life threatening conditions and to those who love them. These words and thoughts were spoken with much love and compassion. Thank you, Daniel.]

DANIEL: Greetings, dear friends. I am Daniel, your friend, teacher, guide and companion, here to share my love and to welcome each of you back into the warm fold of shared social unity. We extend our greeting and our pleasure in your presence and participation as a group this evening. We have enjoyed our individual endeavors with each of you over the intervening timeframe. Yes, with each of you, cognizant or not, of our presence and work. You all do well. And I wish to make a personal comment….[a portion not transcribed]

My dear, dear, friends, please know that you are fully supported, that your loved one and her family are fully supported. None of you are alone nor need go through this time of fear and uncertainty by yourselves. The human creature often tends to isolate and to reject the full love and support that is present when fear runs high. It is helpful to be aware of this tendency and to work hard to overcome it. Recall the life of our Father, Brother, Master, Christ Michael in the person of Jesus. In Jesus’ time of greatest trial, He sought the Father, increasing His time in communion and companionship. This is a model I offer to you, [a] reminder of the life of our Lord Jesus.

Virginia: Daniel, I would like to just comment that those words are really so very appropriate to anyone who has fear in their lives. The model of Jesus turning to the Father is very significant. Thank you.

DANIEL: Yes, my dear, understood. Indeed, do my words have broad significance. It is not my intention to give the lesson tonight; Iruka has this privilege. And so I pass the microphone to her.


IRUKA: Good evening, my friends, my students, and colleagues, and teachers, for you teach me and us as much as we are hoping to teach you. Tonight’s lesson will be a continuation on relationships. Did you think you would get away so easily without delving any deeper? No, for indeed there are many areas to delve into, many perceptions to question. This is indeed a basic topic. Understanding of yourself of course, comes first. Striving to understand another might be your first thought, but the key to understanding another is understanding yourself.

And this, my friends, will take all of your life here on Urantia and for many lives to come. But you can make a basic start and progress as far, as fast, as you wish. I say this because while it is a tough subject, there are many rewards. Each step that you take in understanding yourself reaps reams in understanding the world around you and those around you.

First, you need to be very gentle with yourself. This is a highly sensitive area where the ego is at it’s strongest. Think of the ego standing there with a sword, and he will not be threatened or moved aside easily. But you are not to threaten or do battle but to gently take the ego under your arm and promise to protect it and cherish it and let it in on everything that you learn. This way it is disarmed and will be on your side. Some battles you battle head-on and others you don’t, and this is certainly one where you get to know the ego very well. You be very gentle with it, and it will serve you well.

Think back to what you know and what you have read about how our magnificent Teacher and Father/Brother dealt with those around him. He was gentle; he was loving; and he gained the confidence of those who were around him. When this happens with your ego, the fear is lessoned, the defenses are decreased, and you have an ally in your growth. Humans on this planet tend to be very hard on themselves, very judgmental, very belittling. The self-esteem is very low, and so it is a tendency to be judgmental, and always to a negative side.

So, how can you get to know yourself if you start out disliking yourself? A huge problem, indeed. Approach yourself with the kindness and generosity and love that you would approach a potential friend, someone you would be very gentle with, with an easy conversation, with jokes, with relaxation. Take yourself to lunch. Take the attitude that you are a wonderful person to get to know, that you have qualities that you don’t see yet, that you may have glimpses of but certainly wouldn’t claim…

Our Creator sees you as delightful beings at the very beginning of their path through eternity, delighted with things that you have never seen before, with beautiful things, with all the gifts that are out there waiting for you to experience and find. My lesson tonight is to begin to see yourself as a delightful creature in this vast creation who has everything to enjoy and learn and is loved, totally, unconditionally, beyond anything you can begin to understand. Just think of those words….that you are loved beyond anything you can even understand…and [then] begin to love and trust yourself; accept yourself, and come to enjoy who you are. You want to let this sink in. I will take questions.


Nancy: Iruka, I am thinking how to form my question. I recognize the truth in what you are saying about the universal low self-esteem that I know is also common to me, because I can see it in different things I say and do. But sometimes, very often any more, I am detached from that part of myself. And so… it is like they are layers away. Because I am detached from my low-self esteem, I am detached from that pain. So, I am also detached from any opinions I might have of myself as whether I like myself or don’t like myself, whether I think I would be a good friend or not a good friend, have the traits I would like in a friend or not in a friend.

As you were talking I was finding that I… I was intellectually hearing you and agreeing, but I wasn’t emotionally connecting. And I feel like I should be emotionally connecting because I think this is a bigger deal…I mean acknowledging in my being….and so I am wondering if you have any response or help with that. But maybe it’s just a matter of doing the work anyway of just seeking out that frightened ego part and befriending it, and seeing what’s beyond, learning about that personality that God created that gets so warped by living on this planet. Different aspects shutdown… anyway… that’s my question, I guess.

IRUKA: This indeed is a tough subject. You have had lessons for many years, and we as a group think that you are mature enough, have learned much, and are ready for this, to look at yourselves and love yourselves. Could you possibly look at someone else in your life that you love—and I am speaking for the whole group, not just you, Nancy, because Nancy you asked a very good question—and ask yourself in making a decision about this or that, something in your life, or talking, doing self-talk, would you say this to your good friend?

Would you deny this to your good friend who wanted this or that? Would this be good for them? And if you would, then do this for yourself. Would you give them the benefit of the doubt on a misunderstanding? Then give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Give yourself a break. I could go into how this culture would talk about this being selfish. And yet you have to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, to get to know yourself. Does this help at all; do I need a different metaphor?

Nancy: Yes, it helps, and I hear you. And, I am becoming aware that I have negative self-talk going on in the background, that this is just kind of like on-going chatter that I don’t even hear—but the messages are there. And I will tune into them and start correcting them. And I have become aware in just the last few days that I don’t give myself a break. I don’t ask myself what it is that I need in the morning and allow a nap, if I need a nap, or allow time for exercise, if I need exercise. I keep my to-do list in front of me. And I also know that there are negative things that I hear myself saying in passing: like “that was really stupid” and “na na na na na na na,” you know—along those lines—and it’s just so normal to be there that I‘m not very aware of it.

And so I think part of what you are saying is to become aware of a lot of that negative stuff that goes on as well. I’m sure there are many dimensions. The one dimension I’m focusing in on for myself right now is that negative chatter that’s kind of there, that I don’t even notice, along with just the constant pressure to perform. I don’t think I would be as demanding of others or provide so much negative talk for others… I certainly wouldn’t for my daughter… so, I might be demanding of her. I worry and work on that all the time. So thank you.

IRUKA: You are very welcome. And tonight I have planted some ideas, a seed. And remember you have—and I am speaking to the whole group—you have been thinking this way and living this way most of your lives, and it’s not going to turn around by next Tuesday. It’s going to take time; it’s going to take practice; it’s going to take commitment. There will be times that you do very, very well, and there will be times when you completely forget and slide back. And then you just do it again.

Part of it is trying to be conscious and be aware in a culture that does not teach you be conscious. It teaches you to dull everything with all the messages it sends. It lulls you into an unconsciousness. So, you are fighting this on different levels, but if you can think of first to be conscious, then you can think about what you’re thinking about. Is it negative? Is it positive? Is it fearful? Is it angry? This will tell so much about where you spend your time, where you spend your energy. So, the better you get to know yourself, the more you can become who you want to be and understand those around you. I think I have tried to come full circle here. But if you walk away remembering nothing, remember to love and be gentle and care for yourself as you would a loved one.

Student:  Thank you.

IRUKA:  Any other questions or comments? You are very welcome Nancy.


IRUKA:  It was my pleasure to give the lesson this evening. It is a delight to be here with you. And let us stand. Daniel will give the closing prayer. Goodbye my friends.

Group:  Goodbye. Thank you.

DANIEL: I am Daniel. I wish to lead you in a guided meditation. As you stand hand-to-hand, feel the presence of one another. Feel the heat in your left hand and right hand. Notice the material connection. Notice the physical feel of one another. Hear your breath joined. Do you hear that you are breathing in common?

Now turn your mind towards Spirit. Feel the love pouring through this circle. Sense love at the center, chest high, among you. Sense the connections between you, tying together at that level. Visualize a golden orb.  Watch that orb grow till it encompasses you. You are all now standing in this sparkling golden orb.  As it continues to grow, more and more of your brothers and sisters, more and more of the earth are encompassed. Now the entire planet is dancing inside this beautiful golden orb.

And now it is expanding encompassing the System, the Constellation, the Local Universe, the Super Universe, the Grand Universe. We are tied to Paradise, to the Father’s Love.  Allow yourself to experience the peace…..of this love. Nothing is asked of you. Nothing is expected. And as you stand there basking in the peace, you feel the brightness of the light as your essence. And your light burns brighter and brighter and brighter. This is your reality.  And now bring your consciousness back to this room, to one another. Experience yourselves as a single unified bright light. And now let us pray.

Father, Mother, Christ Michael, be with all of us as we seek to know You, love You, and do Your Will. Help these Your children to be gentle with themselves, to be gentle with each other, to be gentle with Your creation, to heal that which is in their power to heal. We ask this in the name of our Father/Brother, Christ Michael. Amen.

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