2000-01-24. Interaction & Self-Maintenance
SE Idaho #19
Topic: Interaction and Self-Maintenance
Group: SE Idaho TeaM
Aaron: What we endeavor to offer to you is an enhanced perspective in relationship building. We understand the value of your interactions. We know the purpose of your development along these lines. We look forward to your efforts at realizing unity through purposeful interaction with the intent to find love.
If the intention of an individual in interaction is to find commonality, then the level of their expansion is limited to the realization of likeness and difference. The lacking component from this perspective is the inability to comprehend uniqueness and symmetry in diversity, patterns of distinctive flavor.
If an individual chooses to relate to others based on commonalities, then they will most certainly find the common aspects within others to relate to, yet the opportunity for expansion and advancement through the recognition of diverse talents, skills, patterns, is thwarted from realization due to the limited perspective and scope of the viewer.
In relationship, a most healthy perspective to have, truly, is not to have a particular perspective at all on how to approach relating to others. Any perspective or expectation or view, in and of itself is a barrier to realizing the beauty, uniqueness and symmetry of another being.
Better would it be if the questions of the mind were looking for the expression of the individual in its most honest form regardless of its reality, than to be looking for how one’s expression might coincide with your own.
The true value seeking person is not concerned with the type of value being presented, rather that there is something of value being presented. They ask questions such as, “What can I learn from the expression of this individual? How can I harmonize with this personality to find a better realization and understanding for myself and for the other?” Communication goals are not so important as the communication itself. The outcome will make itself clear.
Relationship hinges upon the capability of two personalities to interact. If a person is seeking for reasons to interact or not to interact then the interaction they are undergoing is limited. True interaction relates without particular motive, mainly for the purpose of interacting, relating to know another, to harmonize personalities, to realize unity, to recognize family. No other purpose is necessary. No other motive, intention, reason can have more value than the simple desire to know God as is represented in another being, for whatever that representation might offer, not how that representation can be beneficial or similar to one’s own being. I am Aaron.
Ann: Hi Aaron. Greetings.
Aaron: It is good to be here with you this evening. You will understand these words more clearly upon reading them, but I would love to interact with you this evening about the lessons and any perceptions you have had or with other topics of interest.
Ann: Thank you. I was realizing as you were speaking that I would have to read this to assimilate because it seemed that I was jumping from one aspect of relationship to another trying to understand how you were wanting us to perceive what you were saying. Is it the main purpose to see how God is expressing Himself through that person? The motive or reason for coming together with another person? I’m just not clear about what you were trying to express Aaron.
Aaron: The purposes of interaction with another being should be simply for the sake of interaction. The perspective I have tried to impart here is that all beings have value and that to hold perspectives regarding how one would perceive value and relate to value is distorted, short sighted and self-important in its view. If all personalities have value, then any personality should seek to relate to that value for what one might gain or amplify in interaction. Does this clarify?
Ann: I think somewhat, but my mind is racing and thinking of all the different types of people that we interact with. I guess I come back thinking of how I interact with other people. I know I am always trying to help someone. When they say something, I’m always trying to help them perceive what they’re saying in a better way for themselves to try to help them. I wonder if sometimes I maybe go too far in this. Maybe I need to understand what you’re saying and not feel like I have to be helping everybody all the time. Do you hear what I’m saying?
Aaron: Most certainly. You can realize that a desire to be of service is a selfless motivation, for the largest part, when it does not hinge upon outcomes, responses. Your perspective to aid may find adjustment and understanding in the lesson this evening, for even to have the perspective of helping another is to have preconception or motive in dealing with another personality which can distort true interaction. Healthy perspectives relate first, interact first, and then adjust and harmonize their level of relating and interaction based upon the data being presented in that relationship, rather than beginning with a perspective to aid before there is a realization that aid is necessary.
What if your interaction with an individual was to be for your aid? How perceptive could you be with your motivation going toward the reverse? It creates barriers in true interacting and communication.
For the largest part, mortals are very judgmental and prejudiced in ways that they would not see themselves being, for it is not a blatant pattern at all times. To recognize how you might choose not to interact or relate to another being is to begin to understand some of the prejudices you hold as individuals. To recognize some of the reasons that you choose not to relate or interact with another individual will begin to amplify how and what it is you pass judgement upon — personality types and actions.
Ann: Would you perceive that in my interaction, in my aiding, would you perceive that there is in me this judgmental attitude that you’re speaking of? I know that I am becoming weary of always being on that side of helping people. It’s almost like I want to stop and pivot around and perhaps look at my own life and begin to put some of that energy into my own life. Is there something that has caused me to be in this mode of always wanting to aid people? Is this something I have developed as a result of something within my personality, within my life. I guess I’m seeking for some insight here.
Aaron: How’s your pride?
Ann: How’s my pride? (Laughing)
Aaron: Can it take a little beating?
Ann: Sure. You bet.
Aaron: Most personalities that seek to please and to serve people at the expense of themselves and their own personality, do so out of a sense of self-centeredness.
Aaron: I know this seems perplexing, yet to realize that the desire to serve, when one’s own personal needs are sacrificed and not met, is born most generally out of a desire to find acceptance and praise, adulation. That is a subtle form of self-centeredness, for it is seeking for gratification of self in the responses of others.
When one’s personal needs are fully met, when a person is satisfied in and of themselves for who they are, as most people should be, then the level of service provided has no intention other than a desire to do good to another and the expression is, in its sincerity, more highly realizable as personality expression rather than ego expression.
This suggests that your desire to satisfy some of your personal needs may be more of a God-led desire than the desire to continually provide service for others. While it may seem on the surface to be more selfish, in reality, it is one of the most selfless things you could do, because your self, ego-self, desires gratification in serving others while your personality self desires release of its barriers so that it may most effectively express itself for the edification of others in true beauty and light.
Ann: It’s like when I was in Tucson and I was taking care of a lady. I was in my morning meditation and the thought came to me, “Ann, why do you do nice things for people?” And I thought, because I’m a nice person, because I enjoy it. And the answer came, “No Ann. You do nice things for people because you are meeting your own emotional needs.” I was shocked, however I accepted it because I am on the path of finding self realization. Even though consciously I didn’t understand or see how that could be a reality I knew on another level that this is true. So is this what you’re saying to me, something similar to this?
Ann: So I have taken my inner needs and through my service and caring for other people, am still meeting my own needs, doing for that reason?
Aaron: You will find greater satisfaction in providing service for others if you can most effectively satisfy your personal needs.
Ann: That thought has been going through my mind the last couple of weeks, so I hear what you’re saying.
Aaron: You play the martyr’s role so often, but in doing so you are constantly putting yourself through torture and sacrifice on personal levels. While these sacrifices are not what you would deem to be large, in reality they wear at your stamina and your capability to be serving beauty and goodness upon others. If you can address your personal desires most effectively and offer yourself that time without guilt, then as a result, your efforts to interact with others will find a heightened sense of freedom and a more beautiful realization of personality expression.
Ann: I guess I’ve never seen myself as an important person to myself and that’s one of the reasons I’m sure that I do this. I’ve never seen my inner value. I’ve been thinking about that.
Aaron: And yet in theory you know that you’re very special. Somehow you have not emotionally attached that realization to yourself.
Ann: Yeah, there’s a gap there, isn’t there?
Aaron: Yes. You, instead, stroke your ego with a desired effort toward gaining approval and recognition from others through the denial of yourself, when if you would find greater realization of your motives and desires and actually act according to your self’s personal inclinations, you would actually be less responsive to the ego and more responsive to the personality and spirit indwelling you.
Ann: I like that.
Aaron: Go within and spend some real time daily in that space of understanding. It’s time to pull the paper back out and the pencil to write the words, to express your spirit. To allow yourself to speak to yourself.
Ann: So when you say yourself, what exactly are you referring to?
Aaron: Your integrated soul/spirit connection speaking to the remaining vestiges of animal orientation which block the personality from expressing itself on a more complete level. The knowledge and realizations that you’ve been given over these years speaking to the inborn, the learned responses of child and the learned responses of a outworn, outdated set of values… the new speaking to the old.
Ann: Well that sounds wonderful. It’s like a new goal, something I can set for myself, because it seems like I sure have been floundering lately not knowing which way to go.
Aaron: Most times when one has a disconcerting feeling of a lack of focus and cannot discern where to turn the place to go is within. You will know given more time to ponder these issues. You will find clarity in your direction.
Ann: I really appreciate this Aaron. I wasn’t expecting this tonight. It was very generous of you.
Aaron: It is why I’ve been with this group for years. I look at you as my students, my friends, and I seek in all ways to bring awareness to yourselves in your lives. I am so often limited to what you would be willing to hear from me and I perceived that your willingness to listen to these issues and ideas was open.
Ann: At the beginning I felt a little like I wanted to cry and apparently that meant that that area was being touched. You came in and touched that sore spot and opened it up and I felt the reaction and wanted to cry, but I didn’t because I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want you to talk to me or tell me and so I continued on because I didn’t want to disrupt the flow and I didn’t want you to misunderstand and feel sorry for myself.
Aaron: I did not and would not have misunderstood, yet Simeon very well could have, which may have altered the perspective from myself to more of a nurturing and loving role rather than a insight offerer to your sincere questions this evening.
Ann: I appreciate that very much.