2004-04-18. Father’s Will and the Golden Rule.
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SE Idaho #85
Contents
1Heading
1Topic: Father’s Will & the Golden Rule
2Group: SE Idaho TeaM
2Facilitators
1Teacher: Klarixiska, Daniel, Aaron
2TR: Bob S., Simeon, Virginia
3Session
1Opening
2Lesson
3Closing
Heading
Topic: Father’s Will & the Golden Rule
Group: SE Idaho TeaM
Facilitators
Teacher: Klarixiska, Daniel, Aaron
TR: Bob S., Simeon, Virginia
Session
Opening
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Klarixiska. (Virginia): This is Klarixiska. Thank you Father, that in Your wisdom, Your children do not have to be perfect. They have to have the desire to be that which You have planned. We thank You that each one here desires that, longs for that and works for that. We would ask that as You work in their lives that you will bring circumstances, good or bad, that will make them aware of Your presence in their lives. We would ask that You would encourage them, let them hear Your direction, and let them be open to serving their brothers and sisters. May each heart, each mind, receive tonight that which will help them be a better child of God. Amen
Daniel. (Bob S): This is Daniel. Greetings, my friends, my brothers and sisters on the path to perfection. I will open tonight’s meeting, which will be a lesson given by another, but I wish to say, before the lesson begins, how much I enjoy your time of reading and contemplation — the sincerity you bring, the depth of thought and the quality of responses, which this group seems to always come up with. Now to the lesson, one moment please.
Lesson.
Klarixiska. (Virginia): This is Klarixiska. I am here to offer a mini lesson today. The picture I am giving is one of doing the Father’s will. I would liken it to when you are out cross country skiing and you want to learn how to turn a telemark turn. The first thing you have to do is get moving. And when you wish to do the Father’s will the first thing you have to do is start moving in a direction that will give you opportunity to serve your brothers and sisters.
Perhaps the stillness can be likened to a good pair of skis or a good bike beneath you that will give you the best tools to do that which you are trying to do. Trying to ski without skis or bike without a bike or to do the Father’s will without stillness. – it is obvious one cannot do the Father’s will without the equipment necessary. Stillness is a must. Do not set it aside for the chores of the day. Rather begin your day with stillness. Include it daily, throughout the day, afternoon, or the night, asking for the right words. Thank you.
Aaron. (Simeon): Greetings to you all, this is Aaron. A wonderful day it is to discuss the spiritual life, is it not? You have heard it said often, the golden rule — doing unto others as you would have them do to you, and the amplified realization from the Urantia Revelation where Jesus, as Father, said to love one another as I have loved you. And yet it is our recognition that this mortal life by the predominant number of souls on your world provides difficulty in achieving such a commandment.
Today I would like to stimulate discussion amongst you of the struggles you face in achieving the golden rule in your interactions with others. How do you do at this personally? And to the extent that you have difficulties, what can you identify as some of the sources of difficulty in achieving this? Are these questions clear to you? Then I would allow you to discuss this and will either insert comments as necessary or return with you following your discussion. Let’s see, a strong person to lead off with this discussion would be Virginia. (Laughter and comments) (Note – Comments are summarized to some extent rather than verbatim.)
Virginia: Aaron, I don’t think it’s possible to have a good relationship with everyone even though that is the desire. I think some of that has to do with basic values being so different. When trouble arises and I try to bridge the gap and make peace to no avail, I have to believe it isn’t the time for reconciliation and it will happen on the morontia worlds. More understanding will be on both sides at that time, and we will not be able to procrastinate in our relationships like we do here. I do, however, have a prayer list for people I haven’t been able to reconcile with, and wish them good and pray for them. So I guess that’s how I try to work through those people I have difficulty with. Is that what you wanted?
Aaron. You have touched on both ideas. How you feel you do in achieving this and identifying sources of difficulty in achieving the golden rule. If you have further comments to that, then it would be good, but I do feel you have touched on both ideas.
Virginia: Thank you. I think accepting comes up. Accepting one another where they are, but sometimes values are really different. They don’t understand me and I don’t understand them.
Pat: Sometimes I feel guilty. In some situations where it’s my fault or I’m not getting along or judging. I have difficulty there.
Martie: I think they’ve talked about it before, but one of the things was to try and pull the act away from the person. You still love the person, but don’t agree with their actions at that point in time. I think back to the kids. I would get so mad at what they did sometimes, but I still love them. I tried to learn to work with that. The action is not good, but the person is. I try to transfer that outlook to other people, but it’s difficult.
Pat: That’s where the acceptance comes in.
Virginia: You know Pat, your saying you felt guilty, I appreciate so much what Jane ( ? ) told me, and I think I’ve have repeated this in the group, she said “Virginia, save guilt of real sin”. That has really helped me because, boy, I can feel guilty about anything. I can remember when, I know this is from childhood; my mother and father were having a horrible, horrible fight over whether or not the three girls were going to get coats. We needed coats, it was wintertime, but you know the bottle was important. Mom won, we got the coats and I had this wonderful coat but I felt so guilty wearing it. You know, I’ll bet we all have those (feelings) tuck away, where guilt is our immediate response, instead of “saving it for real sin”.
Kris: I guess I would like some input from Aaron on this. I try to separate the activity from the person and look at everyone as family, whether or not I like them. I get as far as separating without rejecting, but I don’t go that next step and embrace them. I don’t feel I go the extra mile very well.
Virginia: Even if you get that far Kris, it may be that they don’t want you to embrace them. I have experienced that, where I reach out and try to forgive and understand as much as possible and they have their hand up and don’t want to understand.
Bobbie M: Yes sometimes they don’t want it and you’ve done everything you can. Is that not falling on the other person’s shoulders at that point if you’ve done everything you can?
Kris: Michael did everything he could with the people who killed him. It’s like, “I still love you, but you’re going to kill me anyway.” Virginia: I like where it says “love is the desire to do good to others.” (Urantia Book) You may not be able to accomplish what you want, but your desire needs to be to do good for that person.
Aaron. This is Aaron. Thank you for this exchange. I would comment on some questions and thoughts here. This separation is a good first step — realizing the difference between actions and a personality. An ability to love from afar tentatively begins to build the actual bridge, but it cannot be forced, for a genuine affection must build within you that pervades your being with a sense of brotherly or sisterly love. This can only be achieved by the bridge, which is bringing it to the source, your Father, who can build new circuits between you. Praying for another person allows this to be enhanced.
Something you may want to recognize, also, is that how you relate to another person does not have to be contingent upon how they relate to you. The golden rule is the idea of how you will be with other people, rather than discerning how they are with you. And, therefore, it is possible to develop a sense of loving one another that transcends any momentary issue or activity of another person, where you can recognize distortions, quirky behavior, and the foibles of people whom you interact with without being affected on the level of spirit. This is not asking you to be blind to injustice and poor behavior, but that you build the capacity to be undaunted, unaffected personally, by this behavior.
If you look at Michael’s life, he took it so far as to not even allow death — murder — to change how he would be with other people, and, therefore, the ultimate goal is to reside in comfortability with your Creator and be so assured in that relationship that you can be truly loving without hedging your bets, or making it contingent upon someone else.
Virginia: Aaron would you speak to the fact of what I said about not being able to embrace the other person because they didn’t want it? Jesus was not able to embrace the members of the Sanhedrin who rejected him because they did not want it. Would you comment on that?
Aaron. The difference here is that you have a divine personality who recognized iniquity in others and chose to act aside from it. The difficulty you have is that you cannot see to the very soul of another person and truly discern the motives, intentions, and worth of that soul, but rest assured that Michael, indeed, was able to affectionately embrace those who did not embrace him on a level that transcended words and conscious interaction. Sometimes doing unto others as you would have them do to you might mean calling them to task for poor behavior. You might recognize if you were acting poorly that you might want someone to point this fact out to you. By doing this at times, Michael was able to shatter the facade of certain individuals and bring them, in humility, slowly back into the kingdom.
Loving one another does not always mean being cheerful, kind, and happy. It is to discern the most loving thing you can do in any circumstance. Is this clarifying to you, my friend?
Virginia: It sounds much more difficult. You began this by saying you cannot get to the core of the other person and I certainly agree with that. Therefore, how can I call them on the carpet, as it were, and say this is what needs to be done? I would find that difficult, even though Jesus had that ability. He was not hesitant to say it like it was, but he tried everything else first. How can you embrace somebody else if they don’t want it? We can do it emotionally, spiritually, and we can pray for them, but if they don’t want a relationship, you have to also let them be a part of that choice.
Aaron. You are discussing a different element, I believe, than what I am alluding to here, for I do agree that you must recognize boundaries and act within those boundaries for what is proper. But loving one another as you would be loved, as your Father loves you, and doing unto another as you would have them do to you, means that you can act according to your best understanding regardless of the wishes of another person, for you are in control of your behavior.
I also recognize the difficulty sometimes in achieving the ideal, for poor behavior is all too prevalent on your world due to several factors, but if you see a child being assaulted in public, it is obvious, I would think, in each of your minds, what the ideal thing to do is in that situation — either to stop it personally, to get someone who can, or simply say, “Do not assault that child.” Therefore, you are doing to another what you would have them do. An example in your own life, Virginia, is the situation with the woman who needed medicine. You knew instinctively what the right thing to do in that situation was. You had been granted love and kindness and someone freely offering to you, and in the midst of your recognition of that, you were given the opportunity to provide in kind. Therefore you acted. I would venture to say that your world could be transformed quickly if this type of behavior could be perpetuated. I don’t know if this is helping your understanding.
Virginia: Yes Aaron, thank you.
Aaron. You are welcome. I did not intend to end the discussion by inserting my comments in response to questions and ideas, so I would ask you, Ken, if you would have any comments? (Laughter) You have always been faithful in working with me on these inquiries.
Ken: Well Aaron, you know the expression, “I love everybody. There’s just a few I love a little bit more.” And I do love everybody and, like Virginia, I do want everybody to love me, but I’m not Michael and I cannot get everybody to love me the way I would like. Those that I do love, I try to understand and to bring light and humor into their lives as best I know how, and to be treated likewise. For the most part I am. One of the problems I have in doing this is learning to listen to what people are asking or saying and to respond in like manner without my own personal opinions. I have trouble keeping my mouth shut. Thanks for asking Aaron. How’s your day going? (Laughter)
Aaron. At this point, it is glorious, and I thank you for asking. Your comments are appreciated. I believe we have a couple others who may want to share their perspectives and/or difficulties. Bob?
Bob S: I had a problem initially separating loving others and liking others. I thought you had to do those together. But I concluded that you don’t have to like others to love them. You can show love to those you don’t know by showing respect, tolerance, and concern, and giving them their space. It’s still difficult, but it helps to distinguish between liking people and loving.
Bob D: I have difficulty myself in doing it. Depending on where I’m at in life, I’ve had times when I’ve been more expressive, and at this point in life I feel more detached. I wonder if that’s a regression or a different sort of growth, not being so emotionally involved in everything. It could be avoidance too. I do the golden rule effectively infrequently. I see the ideal, but also can’t quite be like Jesus yet. I get destabilized at times when people don’t like me or something I’ve done, and then when destabilized my actions aren’t as high minded. A chain of things effect the output. I’m cordial, for the most part with people, and friendly, but I don’t know about embracing. A lot of times in this world, showing kindness and intimacy can be seen as weird or un-cool, out of step, or suspicious. Once in a while I say to heck with it and lose trying to be composed and let go and it’s exhilarating to be that way with people. It happens more extensively at spiritual conferences where you know where others are coming from. The trick is to do it in everyday life.
Bobbie M: How do you deal with someone who is young and immature effectively? How do you deal with someone when no matter how you try to be good, she rebels from that?
Bob D: A good spanking. (Group laughter)
Bobbie: I would like to do that.
Virginia: I don’t think that was Aaron speaking.
Bob D: That was Bob-ego. (More laughter)
Bobbie: It’s my son’s girlfriend. When my son’s around, she’s very nice, but at work, since she works at the same place, it’s so different.
Aaron. These are the difficult cases, yes, for dealing with dishonesty is tricky because you cannot know when anything is real. I would bring it back to your self and asking if you were acting in such a manner, how would you like to be treated by somebody else? And thus you can begin to formulate responsive behavior, to recognize what things you can do. Distancing yourself, remaining aloof, is not necessarily unloving. One does not have to buy into someone else’s dishonesty so that they can feel as though they are loving properly. But the important steps are to realize how you would want to be treated and to respond accordingly, knowing the sensitivity of the relationships involved.
I don’t know if this helps you much, for these are not easy situations, but in a worst case scenario you can ponder whether to act aggressively in relationship to this person or to remain aloof and understanding of the manipulations or deceit, therefore not taking ownership and being caught in the cycle of one’s whims and posturing.
Bobbie: Thank you. That does help.
Aaron. And at the end of the day, you can only do your best and this is the bottom line in achieving the golden rule, to have a standard, seek to achieve it, and when you fall down to rise back up and try again. Therefore, none of you should be too harsh with yourselves when you fall short of the ideal as long as your intention is to achieve the ideal.
Are there any more comments from any of you on this subject? The floor is open to you. At this time we will have another close our meeting. Please stand and…
Closing.
Ken: Before we go Aaron, I would like to introduce a member of our extended family to you. Kris is here, paying us a short visit, and I would like to make her welcome.
Kris: Hi Aaron.
Aaron. Thank you for your courtesy Ken and recognize that as I descended upon you this evening I already felt a sense of camaraderie with you, my friend, and, therefore, did not think to offer those greetings that we so often bring to those who are new in the midst of our group. Aside from that, it is our pleasure to have you with us and to share insights with someone who has an insightful and inquisitive nature such as yours. We hope to have opportunities to communicate with you in the future. Welcome tonight. Let us pray.
Daniel. (Bob S): This is Daniel. To our heavenly parents whose universe we occupy, we are most grateful for life and experiences, which lead us ever closer to perfection and you. Go with each of these, my younger brothers and sisters, now, as they go to their respective homes. Touch them in your special way and lift them up as they deal with the vicissitudes of life on this planet, in these days, as we all seek to follow our Master Michael. Amen.
