1997-12-20-Personal Session, Bestowal
• 1 Heading
o 1.1 Topic: Personal Session, Bestowal
o 1.2 Group: Denver TeaM
• 2 Facilitators
o 2.1 Teacher: Will
o 2.2 TR: JoiLin
• 3 Session
o 3.1 Opening
o 3.2 Dialogue
o 3.3 Closing
Topic: Personal Session, Bestowal
Group: Denver TeaM
WILL: Greetings Little Mary, it is I, Will, she who loves you, here to help in anyway I can. Have you questions for me child?
- 1. Feeling like the rug has been pulled out from underneath
Mary: Thank you. I’m really grieving. There’s a part of me that has a real calm acceptance since I changed my prayer and asked God to give me whatever it is that I need and the grace to accept it. But, there’s another part of me that is just grieving…
WILL: And yet another part perhaps that is tainted by fear?
Mary: True. I’m grieving over the very probable loss of my job at Jesusonian. While I don’t understand why, there’s a level that knows there’s a reason and yet it feels emotionally and spiritually like having the rug pulled out from under me. I’m not real clear on how to process grief.
WILL: Part of the difficulty, may in fact be due to your inability as yet to truly stay in the moment. On another level it has to do with the greatest lesson for you in this time of truly having faith, letting go of all of your preconceived thought patterns, dreams, and wishes and truly letting your Father dictate your future. That is a scary proposition for anyone on your world for you have not yet gained the ability to connect on a daily basis with the Father. And, realistically Little Mary you may not gain that insight, the ability to connect with that level of insight for yet many years to come. But because you are a “doer” an “acter” you tend to want your answers clearly given to you now.
Mary: Do you think it’s partly fear that I’m impatient?
WILL: Yes, of course.
- 2. Difference between psychics and intuitives
Mary: When I was in Atlanta I had readings with psychics or intuitives and my grandmother was psychic. Can you tell me… give me some insights into psychic or intuitive abilities?
WILL: Psychics, as I understand the meaning, have more to do with the ability to perceive the greater patterns, the probability patterns that exist for all creatures, the likelihood of these patterns finding completion in your lives. This is not to say that they always will but only to say that they may become probabilities.
Intuition is your connection with your Adjuster and being able to pick up on his signals which is a clearer, truer path than the other.
- 3. How to develop intuitive communication with our Adjuster
Mary: How do we develop that intuitive communication or connection with our Adjusters?
WILL: Through conscious daily seeking Little Mary; spending time just sitting with an open heart and attempting to pick up on his [? Recording unclear] Sometimes in our daily lives, due to different emotional levels, we are more able to pick up on his meaning and get clear insights seemingly out of the blue.
But most often this connection is developed through your conscious willingness to put in the time necessary to develop this connection. Trust, faith, go hand in hand and for one like you whose mindal bent tends to be more analytical, it will take an even deeper commitment on your part to achieve.
The Father as you well know is with you always, sending you messages of love and support, and guidance, always. Yet for most mortals on this world of time, it is neigh onto near impossible to hear his voice through all the mindal chaos, clutter and noise. And so, it takes a concerted effort to calm the inner turmoil. For many it takes years, for the lucky few, the breakthrough comes sooner.
- 4. Struggle between head and heart
Mary: Why, I mean based on what you just said, it makes no sense to me why my heart scares me to death and I depend on my mind. Even though my reasoning can be muddled and confused and . .. it’s not my head that scares me it’s the heart.
WILL: That’s understood and yet it is in this direction that you will evolve toward. It is [tape unclear – possibly “through”] the mindal arena into the heart wherein the Father lives that you attempt to develop. You’re walking into territory that is less understood by you and so of course it engenders some level of fear. You are still, human that you are, closely connected to your animal beginnings. And, it is this that causes confusion, fear and distrust. Only through quelling these spirit poisons will you find yourself in a place of peace and openhearted connection to the Father.
- 5. Father’s Will vs. my will / wishful thinking
Mary: I have a very hard time distinguishing between that gut, intuitive leading, that spirit prompting, and then I say it’s wishful thinking. I have a very hard time knowing what’s God’s will and what’s my will. My will of course I call wishful thinking. Can you help me to distinguish between the two? I sabotage myself. Anytime it seems to be something I want then I can’t believe it’s the Father’s will, it must just be my desires. So I don’t trust myself.
WILL: Trust begins to build Mary through repeated acceptance. Call it trial by error, if you will. You will begin to build, with small faltering steps at first, the trust level that you are indeed walking where and toward what the Father wishes for you. Because you are in essence emotionally distraught, you question everything that feels good, believing that everything that feels good must be directed by you.
Recognize Little One that the Father wants the best for all of his children. He wants you to be whole Little Mary, on every level. He wants you to know joy, peace and fulfillment while all the while holding his hand. Yet again, the analytical mind interferes strongly in you. Your trust becomes your greatest issue, your greatest challenge. I cannot give that to you, I cannot give you a clear defined pathway for that is not the Father’s desire for you or for any of his children. He wants for you and all of his children to have the faith that allows for the chaos, that allows for the confusion, and yet underlying all of it remains the trust that he will provide you with what you need.
Your prayer Little One of being given what you need rather than what you want is the opening of the heart’s door that he requires in order to be able to more clearly lead you on the path of his choosing for you. This you have done. Recognize that this is so. Accept it on a conscious level as well as a heart level.
- 6. Phrasing questions
Mary: Gosh, there are so many things I want to ask I don’t know what to ask first.
WILL: I have all the time you require. It is you who holds back.
Mary: Why do I hold back? Is it trust again?
Mary: There’s a part of me that says if I don’t carefully word my question, you won’t answer.
WILL: And, on some level that’s certainly true.
Mary: (Laughing) That felt good! So my mind kicks in, instead of just blurting out what it is, I try and phrase it so that you can address it.
WILL: So if you ask a question that comes straight from your heart that I recognize as a question I may not answer for you, rephrase it. But go with the heart.
- 7. Individuals that cross our path and more on faith
Mary: Okay. I want to know what’s with “S”. I feel like he was plunked right in my path.
WILL: It’s my opinion that if not every, then almost every individual that crosses your path, or put on your path with the Father’s plan and purpose in life, this certainly is true with you and Steve, and you and JoiLin, and you and Lori, and you and many others in your life. As well you know, you have many of your own answers Mary. You simply deny them. Again, faith.
Again, faith and trust will give you a sense of peace Little One if you can simply embrace it. I cannot, and if I could, would not, define for you the outcome of this relationship or any relationship in your life, for it would be unfair to all parties concerned were I to do that. Faith, again and again and again, faith, and more faith is what is required to live your life in that peaceful, gentle accepting place. You have a beginning but you have yet a long way to go.
- 8. Discussion regarding whether to stay in a marriage or divorce
Mary: Gosh, there’s a pattern here that’s scary. My first husband was like “T” in so many ways. He never showed love until I burned out. And then, as I start to pull away…
WILL: They suddenly realize what their losing?
Mary: Yes. I wish I could see the lesson in this.
WILL: The lesson Little Mary is not simply your lesson. All of the players are being served on one level or another, “T”, not the least of all. Growth is never comfortable and yet you must pause to recognize that there is no one path that would serve you, no one path that would serve “T”.
The way is open to you to accept the changes he has made and to continue a life with him if that is your choice. But, the way is also open to close the chapter of your book of life in regard to this marriage. Both scenarios can, and will, serve each of you, each holding different lessons. And, that is the quandary you find yourself in, unable to truly choose the door you’ll walk through. And yet, if you allow yourself the freedom from your analytical side and embrace completely the side that is more deeply connected to your heart, you will choose the path best suited for you.
Mary: And that’s not selfish?
WILL: No Little One.
Mary: Why does it feel selfish?
WILL: Because you aren’t use to it. You are unused to seeing to your own needs. New territory always feels uncomfortable and in this respect you call it selfish. You will never truly love another until you can truly love yourself. You know this, yet, you have yet to embrace it.
Mary: But there have been times in my life where I have loved myself. And, there have been times where I have recognized a very deep need and chosen accordingly no matter how much it hurt.
WILL: And did you see that as selfish?
Mary: As necessary selfishness. Necessary because you can kill off parts of yourself. You can neglect aspects and do lots of damage.
WILL: That is correct.
Mary: It was a lot easier before I had children.
WILL: Of course it was.
Mary: Children change the whole dynamic. My choices affect more people.
WILL: And yet, if you remain in a situation that is irreconcilable in your own mind and heart, there is no real love, no real nurturing, are you truly serving your children by remaining so? What would be the lesson that you would be teaching them?
Mary: I don’t know. It’s been pretty dysfunctional so far. But in spite of everything our children know that they are loved by both of us.
WILL: And they will continue to know that Mary.
Mary: I know.
WILL: They will continue to be supported by that knowledge and that love regardless of where their future finds them, regardless of the circumstances. They know they are loved by both of their parents. That will not change.
Mary: This is true. I have no idea what they have formulated, what ideas and values they hold regarding relationships, marital relationships. My children have learned more through seeing my loving friendships than the relationship they have seen between their parents.
Mary: And I regret that… but I was in a very unaware place.
WILL: But you are no longer unaware.
Mary: This is true.
WILL: And now you have a responsibility to yourself Little One. Step out bravely and trust your heart and trust the Father. If his [tape unclear – possibly ‘overcare’] touches all of your lives he will hold you up as well as “T” and the children. You will come through this regardless of the direction you choose to take. There will simply be different lessons. But, if you choose to follow a path where you are truly going to be true to yourself then there is only one clear path you can take.
Mary: But I do have a strong sense that now is not the time, that I’ll know it.
WILL: Then follow that.
Mary: And I am.
WILL: Here is where your faith and trust will support you through the times of indecision, the times that are filled with stress. But, remember always to allow yourself to be nurtured from within, Little Mary. Seek to strengthen that connection, to become strong, and the outpouring of the Father’s love to you will be felt by you in the material world. It is not easy for anyone in this world for truly your world is more dysfunctional than not. And, it’s the rare human that finds that connection without much, much work. You have never shied away from work and have truly never let go your commitment to the Father, so we have no fear that you are not up to the task.
- 9. More interested in personal session than hearing about Magisterial Son’s bestowal
Mary: Speaking of connections, I have a confession Will. Last Tuesday, something very important was going on. I think one of the Most Highs (Correct) was speaking about a bestowal Magisterial Son and I know I’m getting it on some level but part of me… I feel too wrapped up in myself – I wanted to hear you, Will. My attitude was negative and then indifferent toward the Teaching Mission and I really don’t know that much about it. And, I don’t know why I’m being drawn to it other than I love and trust JoiLin so much and I was in such personal crisis that I turned for help and you were there. And, I thank you. And, I’m very fond of you. I’m very appreciative.
WILL: I know all of these things are true and I thank you deeply for your trust in both JoiLin and myself. And, Little Mary, do you not know that your love is reciprocated just as deeply if not more by me? I accept that as one of the highest compliments you could possibly pay me. And, have no fear that jealously is a part of my world for it is not. It was wholly understood by the Teacher that your heart connection was more clearly with me at the moment. And, you’re correct, the message that was given lives within your heart on a deep level but the information is there, and will remain there, as it will remain within the hearts of all who were present on that evening.
- 10. Being pulled toward the Teaching Mission?
Mary: Am I being pulled toward the Teaching Mission for a bigger purpose than I’m currently aware of?
WILL: All who are being pulled toward the Teaching Mission are being pulled there for a greater purpose of course.
Mary: Is it of value for me to be aware of this or…
WILL: . ..to be aware of the greater purpose?
WILL: That will unfold in it’s own time.
Mary: So don’t worry about it?
Mary: Okay. That’s nice. (Laugh) One less responsibility.
- 11. Teachers and communicating / stillness
Mary: Does every individual have a different Teacher?
WILL: Correct. Every individual who seeks to have a personal Teacher has one.
Mary: So you’re not a personal teacher, you’re a group teacher?
Mary: Well, I want to be part of that group! But I could also have a personal Teacher?
WILL: Correct. You do in fact have one.
Mary: Oh… Well now how do I connect with my personal Teacher?
WILL: Through perseverance.
WILL: Through seeking the stillness as JoiLin has told you.
WILL: Use the hot pen method that oftentimes proves invaluable as a tool.
Mary: Just sit down and write…
WILL: The pages that you already write, were you to do it on a daily basis for the purpose of clearing your mind and allowing the possibility of teacher contact, would perhaps be the most viable path for you to take since it is a mechanism you have already chosen to use.
Mary: Not this past session, but the Teaching Mission session before that, I experienced the same thing. A real stillness of my mind, a total relaxation to the point where I was catching myself from the edge of falling asleep. And, I had a real sense that someone wanted to speak through me. I guess I wasn’t quite ready.
Mary: …and, I’m sure it’s going to be a real shocker. Although I won’t ever forget the voice that told me, that said, “Don’t go! Don’t go!” and that was to a conference. So I find it so interesting that I’m going to this conference in Florida. I’m just…
WILL: Let’s jump back for a moment. The stillness that you experienced was a precursor to what you may have on a daily basis with effort. And, it is within this stillness that your Father connection is recognizable. Understand that when you seek the stillness with an open heart and a desire for that connection to be made, always, always, always is it made. Albeit your perception may not be clear. Your human understanding of the connection may not be understood or clear and yet it is always there seeking the stillness with an open heart, with a desire to connect with your Father, always facilitates the connection. And with each ensuing time does that connection become stronger until one day, Little One, you truly hear him within that stillness with all the beauty and love that always lives within that space.
Mary: I’ve only experienced that twice and both times I was listening intently to both Daniel and JoiLin transmitting.
WILL: [Tape unclear] …of the facilitator if you will, of having gone within the stillness, when you quiet the mind or attempt to quiet the mind, and you still the physical body, it brings you to that space wherein contact can be made. The implications give you a taste of what will be yours in the future if you choose it.
Mary: I think I need to work on that.
WILL: That is correct.
Mary: So my Teacher is present now?
Mary: Can you tell me anything about my Teacher? Or I mean do you want to tell me anything about my Teacher?
WILL: She loves you very much. She is open to you, always, available to you, always, seeking to make contact with you, waiting for you to attempt contact with her and that will come in time if you accept it and choose to do so.
Mary: Thank you Will.
WILL: You’re welcome.
WILL: JoiLin’s blood pressure is dropping and she needs to return to full consciousness.
Mary: Oh, thank you.
WILL: So if you have another question.
Mary: No, thank you.
WILL: And I thank you Little One for the faith and trust that you show toward me and toward
JoiLin. Continue to build this faith and allow it to move out into other areas of your life. Go now, knowing how loved and cherished and supported you are always. Shalom.
WILL: I thank you for that Little One.